yet. With the pregnancy scare, I just blanked it out, but the lease on the building space fell through. I don’t have a place for my shop. And now this. I’m trying to get my business off the ground. I have no health insurance and I’m in no way prepared to be a mother. I just want to cry, but I know that solves nothing.”
“You cry, honey,” Carly said fiercely. “We’ll figure this out.”
“You know we’d do anything for you,” Ashley said. “You all helped me so much when I was going through such an awful time with Devon. I can never repay you for that.”
Pippa sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that threatened. “You never have to repay me, Ash. I love you. We all do. I love all of you guys.”
“When exactly did you have sex?” Sylvia interjected.
“Saturday night. All of Saturday night. Well into Sunday morning.”
Sylvia reached for Pippa’s hand. “You can go to your doctor and have him advise you of the alternatives.”
“I’ll pay for you to go to the doctor, Pip,” Ashley said. “I’ll take you myself.”
An uneasy flutter settled into Pippa’s chest. She rubbed absently at the discomfort. It was the way she felt when she imagined taking measures to prevent a pregnancy that could already have begun.
“Pippa?” Sylvia asked gently.
“Oh, God, I feel so stupid,” Pippa whispered. “I can’t make that kind of decision in an instant. How can anyone?”
“Okay, what is your gut telling you?” Carly asked. “What are you afraid of? Is it the pregnancy itself that scares you? Or is it the idea of being an unwed mother and not being able to support yourself and a baby?”
“You aren’t making any of it sound appealing,” Pippa muttered.
“You don’t have to make a decision right this minute,” Tabitha broke in. “Taking a morning-after pill or getting a shot aren’t your only options. You could totally wait and see if you even are pregnant and then pursue your options then. Women have many choices these days, Pippa.”
Ashley squeezed Pippa’s hand and stared urgently at her friend. “If you want this baby, if there is a baby, you have to know we’d help. All of us. You wouldn’t be alone. I just want you to make the best choice for you. But whatever that is, you have our absolute support.”
Pippa could no longer hold back the tears. They streamed down her face as she stared at her best friends in the world. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”
“You forget one important part of the equation,” Sylvia pointed out.
Everyone looked at Sylvia.
“The father. Obviously you’ll have us, but is he going to take responsibility in this matter?”
Pippa nodded. “He would. I have no doubt he would. I told him I’d let him know if I was pregnant and until then to back off. I just had to process all this, you know?”
“Yes, honey, we know,” Carly said sympathetically.
“This probably sounds crazy to all of you, but from the moment I realized there was a possibility, everything changed for me. I began to imagine this tiny life inside me and even though I could take a pill and it would all go away …” She took a deep breath. “I’m not sure that’s what I want.”
She looked up at each friend in turn, but she saw no judgment or condemnation in their eyes. All she saw was unwavering love and support. Determination. Loyalty.
“If … If there’s a baby. I think I want it.” She swallowed the knot in her throat and then spoke with more conviction. “I know I want it.”
“Take some time to get used to the idea,” Sylvia advised. “There’s no hurry. You don’t have to make up your mind today or even tomorrow.”
But Pippa knew the more the initial shock wore off, the more firmly she’d be entrenched in the idea of having and keeping her baby.
Her baby.
Already she felt fiercely protective of it.
Out of the wreckage of her shock and confusion came the very firm realization that she’d never do anything to end the pregnancy. Nor would she ever give up a child she gave birth to. Her possessiveness and the strong surge of love she already felt were shocking in their intensity, especially because she didn’t even know if she was pregnant.
If she was, whatever happened, she would keep the child. She’d go to Cam and together they’d work out an amicable solution.
Maybe she was being stupidly naive, but until he showed her differently, she was going to believe wholeheartedly in his sense of responsibility.
Her hands shook as she raised a glass of water to her mouth. After taking a long drink, she put it back down and then leveled a stare at her friends.
“Okay, girls, how long do I have to wait before I can take a pregnancy test?”
Six
Pippa paced the floor of her living room, trying not to stare at the little stick lying on the coffee table just a few feet away.
“It isn’t time yet,” Ashley said when Pippa stopped and hesitated.
“Why does it have to take so long?” Pippa exploded.
She couldn’t take not knowing another minute. The past weeks had been ones of unimaginable stress with Cam breathing down her neck, asking her every few days if she knew anything yet. The last time he’d asked, she’d all but screamed at him to back off. Maybe he’d finally gotten the hint or maybe she’d just sounded that desperate because he hadn’t been in contact for the past couple of days.
The hell of it was, he acted concerned. It almost seemed as though he was acting on the assumption that she was pregnant and had made it his mission to “check on” her frequently.
He was making her insane.
“It’s only been two minutes,” Ashley soothed. “It doesn’t do any good to sit and stare at it. It won’t make things go any faster.”
Pippa sank onto the couch. “You’re right. It’s driving me crazy, though. I just feel it. In my gut. I’m pregnant. And don’t tell me it’s some psychological crap and that I’m imagining all the symptoms. I’m just telling you that I feel different. My boobs are sore. I’m queasy. My smell is off. Weird stuff gets to me. Like the smell of cupcakes. Who the hell gets sick smelling a cupcake?”
Ashley smiled. “I don’t think you’re imagining anything, sweetie. Let’s wait for the results and then we’ll tackle the solution together. Okay?”
Pippa groaned and closed her eyes. The past three weeks had been a form of torture she never wanted to repeat. She changed her mind from day to day. One day she thought having a baby would be great. She and Ashley would have little playmates. On other days she thought she was solidly out of her mind
