made him appear more approachable.
Not wanting to be caught staring, she quickly diverted her attention back to the room.
“This is really very nice. Is there wood for the fireplace?” Oh, great save. Like she needed a fire in late June.
“By the shed outside, to the left. But you probably won’t be here long enough to use it.”
“What do you mean?” Miffed, Nikki tried and failed to keep the bite out of the question. “I’m playing by the rules.” She gestured to her uniform of black and white.
His intense gaze rolled over her until his eyes met hers. “Right. But we both know this is a temporary arrangement at best.”
“Why do you say that?” she demanded. “I assure you I truly care about Mickey, and I’m committed to staying until—”
Whoa. She cut herself off as her mind caught up with her mouth. She couldn’t tell him she intended staying until father and son bonded. Already she knew he’d take her interference as well as a cat took to water: with a whole lot of resistance and no discernible gratitude for the effort involved. He only accepted her presence now because Mickey liked her. That was where she needed to channel her efforts.
“Until what, Ms. Rhodes? He starts school? Can stay home alone? Begins to drive? You won’t be here through the end of the year, let alone any of those milestones.”
And there was a fine sample of opposition. Leaving her suitcase against the wall, she plopped into a soft gray armchair, planted her elbows on the arms, and got to the heart of the matter.
“Why did you hire me if you’re ready to push me out the door?”
He surprised her when he gave up his position of power to sit across from her. “First of all, because you’re a teacher, not a nanny. You’re going to go back to teaching the first chance you get. It’s obvious when you talk about it that you love your job. Second, I can see you do care about Carmichael. More important, he likes you. But let’s not kid ourselves. You’re a meddler, Ms. Rhodes. You can’t help yourself. And I can’t tolerate being manipulated. I have a high-pressure, high-exposure job. I need to know my child is being cared for to my specifications, and to find peace when I walk through my door at the end of my shift.”
Okay, she gave him points for insightfulness and, yeah, she understood the whole peace-in-his-own-home thing. Her mother had always wanted peace. Nikki considered it overrated. Give her loud and loving every time. Laughter wasn’t a quiet commodity.
As for meddling—he was right. She couldn’t deny it. But the man had serious emotional issues. She intended to help him and Mickey find a connection. If he preferred for her to be up-front about it, she could do up-front.
“I prefer to think of it as caring about people.” Earnest in her concern, she leaned forward. “I care about Carmichael. You didn’t even stop to check on him this evening. So, yeah, I’m going to meddle. He needs you, so what’s it going to take to get you to stand steady for him?”
Trace’s dark brows slammed together. “You’re out of line.”
“Blame yourself.” Nikki waved his irritation aside. “You hired me to take care of Carmichael. To me that means more than changing diapers and heating bottles. His emotional welfare is as important as his physical welfare. Why are you so afraid of emotion?”
He surprised her with an immediate response.
“I’m not afraid of emotion, Ms. Rhodes, I’m just not very good at it.”
Nikki blinked at the unexpected reply. How sad if that was true. The total lack of feeling in his expression revealed he believed it.
“And it’s easier to back away than try?” she guessed.
“I’ve tried.” A shadow of pain came and went in his level gaze. The flash of vulnerability convinced her of his claim more than the stoic words. “That’s how I know I’m no good at it.”
She could tell it had cost him. Still, she had to press. For him and for Mickey. “Well, it’s time to try again. Can I be frank with you? Mickey’s development is stunted. You know I have a master’s in Child Development. He’s behind in speech, in walking, in his motor skills.”
His eyes narrowed to slits. “You’re saying my child is slow?”
“No. He’s smart, and actually quick to catch on to new things. But he just sits, and he always wants to be held.”
“His grandmother was very protective of him,” he said slowly, his mind obviously at work. “Whenever I visited she held him all the time. I thought it was because she was afraid I would take him away. She must have coddled him to the extent he did little for himself.”
“It’s sad, isn’t it?” she asked, compassion illuminating her features. “She’d lost her daughter. Her grandson was all she had left of her child. She hung on to him with all her might, and ended up impeding his progress instead of nurturing his growth.”
“She held on so tight she may have irreparably damaged his ongoing development. That’s not sad, that’s negligent. And I let it happen.”
“It’s not necessary to place blame,” Nikki assured him. “What matters is what you do now. Your son needs you. We talked about you setting time aside each day to spend with him. When would be best for you?”
“I’ve already explained my days are chaotic in the extreme. I keep a schedule, but I’m always on call. I can’t give you a set time.”
“Come on.” She sighed, her understanding slipping. “That’s a cop-out.”
“Be careful, Ms. Rhodes.” Dark color stained his cheeks and he fixed a fierce frown on her.
“Good parents make time for their kids.”
“I’m aware of that, but—”
“No buts. Everyone’s busy. We’ll just work at it until we find a time. We’ll start with breakfast. How does bacon and eggs sound?”
He shook his head. “I usually grab something at the station.”
Now he was just being difficult.
“Good. You’ll be able to focus all your attention on Mickey. You can have a cup of coffee while you feed him.”
“I’m the employer, Ms. Rhodes. I make the rules.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed you’re big on rules. It’s all about structure and control for you, isn’t it? So you’ll understand the benefit of a regular schedule for your son.”
He scowled, but she saw he was thinking about her comments. Good. She rose and went to the door.
“Thanks for showing me my rooms. I’d like to get settled in, but I’ll see you at breakfast. Seven o’clock. I’ll cook.”
He blew her off again the next morning. When she came in, he was strapping on his utility belt, getting ready to walk out the door.
He nodded to the baby monitor.
