evening. Just because it was dark and she’d be alone for a few hours was no reason for this wiggle of fear to work through her chest.
“Grace?”
“Right, yeah. Go. I’ll be fine.” She tried to smile and failed while the wiggle intensified to a flop. “Can I come?” she blurted. She managed a casual smile instead of a wince of embarrassment. “I’ve been using Jacob’s weights, but he’s got sissy ones.”
Kyle’s mouth actually twitched into an almost smile. “If you’d like.”
“Great. Give me ten minutes.” She closed the door before he could change his mind. As she changed, she refused to dwell on the fact that her heart was still racing and her palms were still sweating from the idea of being alone at night. Even after spending seven long years making sure no one could ever hurt her the way Barry had again, even with a loaded gun in her dresser drawer. Barry’s being free sucked all the power from the things that once made her feel safe.
She’d deal with that later. When Barry’s being free became normal and inconsequential. Oh, please, God, let that happen.
Dressed, Grace stood in front of the nightstand drawer, contemplating the gun. Usually she took it with her if she left the house, but with Kyle around she wasn’t sure that’d be such a great idea. And she didn’t know what kind of lockers his gym had. No, it was best to leave it behind.
And the idea shouldn’t make her vaguely nauseous.
Pushing that away with the rest of her worries, Grace hurried downstairs to where Kyle was waiting. He leaned casually against the counter, checking something on his phone.
“You should ditch the khakis more often.” Maybe if she goaded him into his typical disdainful eye rolls, she could ditch the panic and the insecurity in one fell swoop.
He gave her that condescendingly patient look. “I’ll keep it under advisement. Are you ready?”
Grace nodded, feeling jittery and amped. Her body practically vibrated with it as she followed Kyle out to the car. She couldn’t stand the silence. In silence, she could think far too much.
“So what do you do at the gym?”
She watched as he went through a precise routine of buckling his seat belt, turning on the ignition, adjusting the radio to a lower level, checking the street behind him. Was he precise in everything he did?
Grace had to fight back a giggle as her mind immediately jumped to sex. Well, at least her nerves weren’t making her a total wreck.
“I swim Wednesday and Friday nights.”
Grace took in the broad shoulders and thought of the muscled arms she’d seen when he’d peeled off his shirt the other day. Yes, she could definitely picture him as a swimmer.
“Are you one of those guys who do those run, swim, bike things? What’s it called? A triathlon?”
“I have done them in the past, yes.”
“Do you have the cute little bike shorts?”
He gave her a disapproving look. “No, I do not.”
“Bummer.” She grinned when he shook his head, his knuckles going white as he pulled into the lot of the gym. “You’re so easy, Kyle.”
“Great. Here.” He handed her a little piece of paper. “This is a guest pass.”
“You sure do think of everything, don’t you?” she muttered. Even if she belonged to a gym and got guest passes, she was pretty sure she’d lose them before she ever had a chance to use them. Not Kyle, of course.
Grace followed Kyle into the Bluff City Fitness Center, impressed by the big, bright lobby. She usually worked out at the Carvelle High School weight room or track thanks to Dad’s being the baseball coach. This place was twice as clean and smelled ten times better. No doubt the equipment would be superior, as well.
What had been a rash decision to avoid being alone wasn’t turning out half-bad. Maybe if she worked out hard enough, she’d manage a dreamless sleep tonight. Kyle gave her the basic layout of the place before disappearing into the men’s locker room.
Grace spent the next hour quite happily busting her butt on the weight machines. If after that she wandered over to the big windows overlooking the pool, it was only because the free weights were right there and she needed to check out if they were the brand she liked. If her eyes happened to scan the pool below and pick out Kyle’s long, impressive arms slicing through the water, well, who the hell could blame her? Watching him do stuff might be a little on the creepy side, but jeez, it was better than the alternative. Thinking about Barry.
Instinctively, Grace scanned the people around the pool. Her blood turned to ice at the sight of a large man with black hair standing off to the side. Her stomach pitched, fear paralyzing her breath.
And then a little girl ran across the wet concrete with open arms and the man smiled, hoisting her up.
Not Barry.
Grace stumbled back into someone running the track around the weight machines. She mumbled an apology. Not Barry. Not Barry. Stupid, stupid mistake.
She closed her eyes, sucked in a breath. Well, seeing Barry where he wasn’t hadn’t happened since the trial. Grace opened her eyes, squinted at her shoes. She let out her breath, took another, easier this time.
Regression. Plain and simple. Unacceptable.
Grace took to the track and began to run. Hard. Eventually she would exhaust herself enough so the panic and fear and worry that this feeling would always be a part of her life would disappear.
Or at least hide away for a while.
Her lungs burned, her already tired muscles screamed, but Grace kept running. She wasn’t going to stop until the pain drowned out everything.
* * *
KYLE CRESTED THE STAIRS, hoping Grace would want to stick around at least another thirty minutes so he could get some spinning in. He was toying with the idea of doing a Half Ironman in October, and he’d need to pick up the pace of his training.
Which wouldn’t be all that hard with Grace underfoot. Exercise was far more appealing than enduring any more alone time with her. Somehow, it always ended up with him flustered, revealing too much. And worse was when she showed a hint of vulnerability. He didn’t like what it brought out in him, this strange need to help and commiserate and smile. Worst of all, smile.
Kyle didn’t commiserate and he didn’t let people into the dark places of his mind, so it was best to avoid Grace as much as possible.
He scanned the machines, looking for Grace’s rainbow-streaked ponytail and that ridiculously yellow, ridiculously tight exercise shirt she’d been wearing. He didn’t see her on any of the machines, but he caught a bullet of yellow out of the corner of his eye.
She was running the track. Hard. His stomach did a sickening slow roll when he saw her expression. When he recognized it as panic and fear.
He should know. He saw that expression enough in the mirror. Not knowing what he was going to
