And she’d be sacrificing the girl who desperately wanted her family back.
So here it was, and here they were.
“A year is a long time to date someone, then break up. What’s the plan there?”
“I guess I’d kind of hoped I’d find someone real eventually. But, yeah, I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out hope for that.” Hard to build a lasting relationship when you had a huge lie about yourself written all over the scar on your chest.
“I guess I hope they’ll see the life I’ve built here and maybe see...I’m not the idiot screwup they need to smother anymore.”
“What did you do that was so bad?”
“Oh, you know.” She shrugged and shifted in her seat. “Teenage crap.” Not really a lie. Wasn’t teenagehood the time for self-destruction and nearly killing yourself with bad choices?
“Like what?”
“Trust me when I say my parents aren’t going to talk about that.”
He frowned. “Maybe I’m not asking as part of the pretend thing.”
“I thought that’s what this was supposed to be. Preparation for the big masquerade.”
“We’re friends. I’ve known you for over five years. We spend a ridiculous amount of time together, and even knowing you didn’t have a close family, I never would have pegged you as a teenage rebel. Unless by rebellious you mean having a mouth like a sailor and the cleaning habits of a prepubescent boy.”
“No.”
“So tell me.”
Ten years she’d spent working out lies to answer these kinds of questions. She kept her scar hidden, downplayed the trajectory of her adolescence. It was like second nature to diminish, to lie, to put it all away.
It was frightening how much she didn’t want to do that with Jacob. The truth was a million words in her head, dying to get out. Dying to see if he’d do what he’d done as a teenager for his mom, pretend it didn’t exist.
Damn.
“I had a lot of health problems, and I didn’t always deal with them very well. And sometimes I made decisions I knew would put me in danger.”
“Well, that’s the vaguest story I’ve ever heard.”
Leah shoved away from the table. She couldn’t do this. And it wasn’t just because it was Jacob and that moment in the spare room still had her all warm and gooey and tied up in a million indescribable knots. It was because she really hated remembering, reliving, rehashing those years.
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