because he raked his hand through his hair and asked, “Grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch?”
“Grilled cheese is fine. I think I saw some carrots in there. That will take care of my vegetable. I’m going to need to go shopping this afternoon for everything I need for Derek.”
He eyed her with sudden intense concentration. “Do you want to do that alone, or do you want me to come along?”
“You’re welcome to come along.”
“That’s not what I asked. Do you want me to come along?”
Nothing had ever been easy between them. “If I buy a crib, I could probably use your help to get it in and out of my car. Handling Derek along with supplies—”
Suddenly Riley was there, right in front of her, close enough to touch. “Do you want me to come along?” he drawled slowly. “Anyone can lift a crib in and out of a car. I’m sure the store would be glad to have someone carry everything for you, especially if you go to McDougall’s.”
Of course she would go to McDougall’s for the crib. That was one reason she thought Riley might opt out of this.
“Do you want to set foot in McDougall’s?”
Riley blew out a breath. “No, I don’t want to set foot in McDougall’s. My family has gone the whole way to Flagstaff to avoid buying anything from your father’s store. But I will go there to pick out a crib for my son, or anything else he needs. And I want to make something clear, Brenna. I’m paying for it.”
“Riley—”
He clasped her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes. “I will provide for him, especially when we’re buying things he’s going to use in my house. So don’t argue with me.”
This was the Riley she’d known in high school, the stubborn, sometimes defiant, boy who was determined to get his own way. She had to choose her battles carefully. She knew pride was as important to the O’Rourkes as it was to the McDougalls.
“If you want to pay for the crib, that’s fine. But I’ll pay for the diapers and—”
As his hand left her shoulder and came up to stroke her hair away from her face, she lost every thought in her head. No man’s touch had ever affected her the way Riley’s had. His blue eyes didn’t waver from hers … didn’t give her any room for escape.
“Having you under my roof is damn difficult,” he muttered. “I remember the last time you were here, our clothes scattered on the living room floor, down the hall to the bedroom. I remember the way you wrapped your arms and legs around me—”
“Riley …” She wasn’t sure if saying his name was meant to warn him or encourage him. He must have taken it as encouragement because suddenly his hands slipped under her hair. Then he was holding her still, bending his head, kissing her hard.
Nothing about Riley O’Rourke was soft—not his attitude, not his sense of purpose, not the muscles in his shoulders or in his arms or in the rest of his body. Riley defined the word male and she’d always found that fact tempting and seductive and something she couldn’t resist. She found herself sinking into him, responding to the desire she tasted in his kiss. She took his tongue into her mouth and let him explore, let him teach her again what passion was all about.
Passion. Chemistry. Sex. That had never been their problem.
Trust was.
Breaking away, she took a few steps back, wrapped her arms around herself and caught her breath. She could not trust Riley to put her best interests or Derek’s first. Deep down, she still believed …
“What are you thinking?” he asked, his voice gruff as if the kiss had shaken him up, too.
“We can’t let that happen. We can’t! I have to keep Derek in mind. He could unite our families, or he could be a pawn between them.”
“Do you think I’d use him?”
“I don’t know,” she said honestly.
For a moment he looked as if he were going to erupt. But then he shook his head, took a walk across the kitchen and then back to her again. “You’re the one who left, Brenna. You’re the one who walked away when I wanted to go public and tell everybody you were my girlfriend. So why won’t you trust me?”
“Because I’ll never know if you started an affair with me in high school because you really wanted me, or because you wanted to get back at my father.”
Riley went completely still, and she could see defensive pride sliding over him once more. “If we’re going to be Derek’s parents, if we’re going to make decisions about him together and decide what’s best for his life, we have to figure out a way to trust each other.”
“That could take some time,” she pointed out.
The tension in the kitchen was thick enough to grab and break in two. The snap and crackle of their attraction was like a force field surrounding them. She’d always felt drawn to Riley and now was no exception. But she knew she couldn’t give in to that need to be held. She couldn’t give in to the desire to let him kiss her. Not if she wanted to keep a clear head. Not if she wanted to make the right decisions for her and her son.
“I have to think of Derek first.”
He must have seen that she meant it. He must have seen that everything was about their baby.
Rubbing his hand over his face, he decided, “We’re going to pick out everything Derek needs together.” Then he opened the refrigerator again, pulled out cheese and a quart of milk. “Let’s eat lunch. We’re both going to have to keep our strength up for whatever happens next.”
Did he mean possibly running into her father? Or did he mean living under the same roof with her?
Brenna sat in Riley’s guest bedroom and checked the alarm clock. It was after midnight and it wasn’t Derek’s soft baby sounds that were keeping her awake. She loved hearing those. She loved putting her hand on his little heart, making sure it was beating. No, what was keeping her awake was the way the whole afternoon had played out. Riley really didn’t trust her any more than she trusted him. When he’d made that appointment with the pediatrician for tomorrow, she had to ask herself—did he really think she’d slept around? Did he really think she’d gone home to New York after the reunion and slept with someone else?
He was already acting like a dad, so maybe he did believe Derek was his. After they’d gotten home with all the supplies, and Derek had been fussy because he was overtired, Riley had taken him into his arms, rocked him, walked him, talked to him like a dad would. Every time he did, her heart broke a little bit because she’d be going back to New York and he’d be staying here. They hadn’t talked about that in detail yet. That would be a humdinger of a conversation. It would be a few weeks until the DNA results came back, so maybe they’d put off the discussion until then.
With the windows open Brenna heard night sounds she’d forgotten. She was used to lights and sirens blaring, and horns honking and trucks rumbling even at night. She wasn’t used to the silence any more, the call of the owls, the rustling of branches, the sometimes utter stillness. Scents of sage and pine drifted in the window as she heard Riley moving about
