son. You need to grow up and deal with your past. Until you do that, all you’ll do is drag my daughter down with you.
As Reed trudged up the stairs he told himself he’d be damned if he’d let his memories pull him back.
He walked into the guest bedroom and his throat closed up. While the room looked nothing like it had when he’d lived here—now resembling a hotel room with its nondescript accessories and earth tones—all he saw was the past. He pictured himself as a scared child, huddled in the corner between his bed and the wall as the sounds of his parents arguing shook the house. He remembered how often he curled up on his bed, his chest aching from the blows his father’s meaty fists had delivered. He pictured himself as a teenager sprawled on the floor, the world spinning around him from drinking too much beer to numb the pain.
He’d never been able to stand being here for longer than four days. How would he handle staying for possibly a year? One nightmare at a time. And he’d do what he’d always done. He’d focus on work. After dumping his suitcase in the closet, he practically ran out of the room.
When he and Colt toured the ranch, Reed realized almost as many ghosts taunted him outside as in the damned house. They walked past the hay pasture and he remembered how his dad had smacked his head so hard his ears rang for a day after he’d gotten the tractor wheel stuck in a hole and it had taken them over an hour to pull the thing loose.
Don’t go there. Remember who you are, not who you were.
He needed to remain focused on tasks and what needed to be done while Colt was gone. If he stayed busy enough he might survive. “I knew Dad sold some land before he died, but I didn’t know it was this much.”
“Damn near half of the acreage. My guess is once you left he was too lazy to do the work and too cheap to hire hands, so selling off the land and stock was the easiest way to keep a roof over his head and his liquor cabinet full.”
“That sounds like our father.”
“I’ve been rebuilding the place, but it’s been slow going.”
Especially with a wife like Lynn. Reed often thought if she hadn’t gotten pregnant in Colt’s senior year, she and his brother would’ve broken up after high school. Instead, his brother had graduated, enlisted in the air force and they got married.
Five years ago when their father died, Colt bought Reed’s share of the ranch, and his family returned to Colorado. His brother hoped putting down roots would make his wife happy, since she’d grown weary of military life, something he loved. Something he saw as a calling. Part of the compromise had been that Colt could join the National Guard Reserves. Unfortunately, despite everything Colt did, he didn’t get the happy ending.
Reed had gotten the better end of the deal. He’d used the money Colt paid him to start his company.
The dusty smell of hay hit him when they entered the barn, bringing with it reminders of the hours he’d spent toting hay and horse feed to the barn.
“How can you stand living here? Don’t the memories get to you?”
“I just remember the bastard’s dead and buried. I’ve had a damned good time changing things around the place. I hope some of them have him turning over in his grave. That gives me a whole helluva lot of pleasure.” Colt thumped his brother on the back. “I know this is tough for you.”
“I’ll be honest. I’m not sure I can stand being here a year.” He looked his brother straight in the eyes. “You don’t know what it was like after you left.”
While they were teenagers, Colt had saved Reed more than once. When their dad went on a tirade, Reed shouted back or argued. He and his father went at it like two bulls stuck in the same pasture. Colt was the one who stepped in to defuse the situation, or he hauled Reed off before his dad could beat him to death. When Colt left for the air force, their father’s anger had spiraled out of control.
He’d come home one night to find his dad drunk and spoiling for a fight, hammering on his favorite subject—how Reed was a bastard for leaving him to fend for himself. One thing led to another, and his father had punched him in the face. Something inside Reed had shattered that night, and without Colt there, he exploded.
He whirled, delivering blow after blow until his father collapsed on the floor. His chest heaving, Reed stood over the man who had tormented him for years. Then the reality of what he’d done sank in. He’d stooped to his father’s level by taking his anger out on another human being. His father roused enough to scream that he’d make Reed pay. He’d call the police and see that Reed’s sorry, ungrateful ass landed in jail.
Panic consuming him, Reed ran out of the house. Hours later, he found himself at the McAlisters’ front door. Avery held him while the whole damned mess poured out of him. Then she’d woken up her parents.
Once Reed had explained to Avery’s parents what had happened, Ben McAlister had called his lawyer. When Reed claimed he couldn’t afford that, Ben told him not to worry about the money. Without Ben paying for his attorney, Reed could’ve gone to jail. He never knew the details of how Ben and his attorney got his father to drop the charges. They never said, and he never asked.
That one event had changed him in ways he still didn’t understand.
“I’ve got an idea what it was like. That’s why you coming back to stay with Jess was always the backup plan. That’s why I didn’t want to ask you to do it, and if Joanne hadn’t broken her hip, I wouldn’t have.”
“I’m also worried about dealing with Jess.” That and holding his company together, but Reed left out that detail. Colt carried enough weight on his shoulders.
When Reed had first spotted Jess at the airport, dressed in tight, low-cut jeans with a deep V-neck sparkly T-shirt that barely covered her midriff, he’d wanted to turn around and catch the first plane going anywhere.
“If I can’t handle being here...if I get your in-laws’ Association of Homeowners to make an exception, and I can get Jess to agree, are you okay with her living with her grandparents?”
Colt nodded. “As long as Jess agrees, I’m fine with it.”
Reed’s fear subsided now that he had a safety net.
“Jess is a good kid. Lynn’s leaving really did a number on her. How the hell could she run off on her daughter? She didn’t even have the nerve to tell Jess before she left. I had to,” Colt said as they walked toward the horse stalls. “Damn, that was hard. You should’ve seen Jess’s face. She looked at me with those big brown eyes of hers, and asked why her mom didn’t love her anymore.”
Reed stood there stunned. He knew Lynn’s leaving had been bad, but Colt hadn’t told him what a bitch she’d been. “You sure picked a winner.”
“You’re right about that. The only good thing I got out of that marriage was Jess. She’s worth whatever hell I went through.” Colt shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “School starts the day after tomorrow. It about takes a crowbar to get Jess out of bed, and she takes forever to get ready. Classes start at eight. If she isn’t up by seven, she’ll be late. You need to leave by seven forty-five.”
Reed jotted down information about Jess’s routines, the location of important documents and anything else he thought he might need to remember.
“She
