looked at him, assessing him as she had at the hospital earlier that day. He could actually see her coming to a conclusion.
“Your friend was right. Your woman friend. You’re a good person, Greg.” She put her hand on his forearm and squeezed for a second. Then she got up and made her way back to his bedroom, softly closing the door behind her.
“No, Eliza,” he said quietly to an empty room. “I’m not.”
CHAPTER FOUR
“WAKE UP! PLEASE, GREG. Wake up!”
He was sprawled on a couch she could see was too small for him. He had one arm flung over his eyes and a blanket that covered him only from chest to thighs. His feet were naked and for some reason she found it disturbingly intimate.
He was twisting now, moaning, and the forces of sleep fought against her relentless attack.
“Please wake up.” She hated the desperation in her voice. Hated the panic that was threatening to overwhelm her, but she had to leave this place. She had to find out where she came from.
Finally he lowered his arm and blinked open his eyes. After taking a moment to understand that he was on the couch and a strange woman was standing over him shaking his arm, recognition dawned on his face.
Along with suspicion.
“What’s the matter?”
“We have to leave. You have to help me look for where I live. I think New Jersey makes more sense. The city doesn’t feel right. It’s too noisy. I think if I lived in Philadelphia I would be used to the noise but I’m not. Maybe closer to the shore. I know it sounds crazy, but I was lying in bed and I thought what if I have a dog. It will be hungry and trapped inside.”
Greg slowly pulled himself into a sitting position. “Hang on. What time is it?”
“Almost five in the morning. Please, I know it’s a lot to ask but I have to try.”
He rubbed his hands vigorously over his face and finally looked at her. Really looked at her.
“You want to drive around South Jersey looking for the place you live, without having any idea of where that actually is, because you think you might have a dog?”
“I don’t know if I have a dog.” She got up from where she’d been kneeling and began pacing in front of the couch. She pulled on her fingers and listened to her knuckles crack, then dropped her hands to her sides immediately, having a sense she wasn’t supposed to do that.
Young ladies don’t crack their knuckles.
Greg was right. Manners were important to her. Someone had given her a sense of what was proper and what wasn’t. She could feel it.
“If you don’t know, then why are you so upset?”
“Because what if I do? I might have left not knowing I was going to be away a whole day. It could be hungry or thirsty. Trapped in a house with no access to food or water.”
Greg blinked. “Let me get this straight. You’re worried you might have a dog but not worried you might have a husband who doesn’t know where you are?”
“A husband can feed himself and pour his own drink. He might be scared, but he won’t be helpless or vulnerable.”
“What about a kid?”
“I wouldn’t have left a child alone. Someone would be watching it.”
He nodded. “Then I take it you’re not a cat person.”
“I love all animals!” That felt right. It wasn’t a memory but it was a sense she had. Of who she was. She would take that as a sign that she was getting better but it wasn’t fast enough. “Cats are more independent. A dog needs to be walked and fed every day. Please. I know it sounds crazy. If we drive around I’m sure it will come back to me. I know I’ll remember.”
He reached out while she was pacing and grabbed her wrist. With a yank he pulled her down onto the couch next to him. It was warm where he had stretched over it and she felt the side of his body pressed against her arm. She shivered.
“Listen to me, you’re panicking again.”
She was. She could feel it coming on. Her heart started to race and her lungs tightened. Deep breaths, deep breaths. “I feel out of control.”
“That’s perfectly natural. In this situation you are out of control.”
She shook her head. “I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling this way.”
“Who does?”
She looked at him then and there was a calmness about him. She sensed that he’d seen people in her state before and it didn’t rattle him.
“Keep breathing,” he ordered. “Tell me quick, gut reaction. You like big dogs or small dogs?”
“Big dogs. They make me feel safe.”
He nodded. “Okay, if you have a dog, especially a big one, that would mean you probably live in a house. Someplace with a backyard so he could run around.”
“I hope so. Big dogs need space.” She clutched her chest as she was gripped by an overwhelming feeling of sadness. She wanted to cry but she had no reason for it.
“Well, if you live in a house, then I bet you have neighbors. And if you live in a neighborhood, I’m guessing you know everyone on the street because you would be out walking the dog. A neighbor who knows you and your dog might see that you didn’t come home last night and might hear your dog barking. Maybe this neighbor would have a spare key. To collect your mail when you go on vacation, or let the dog out when you’re not there. I’m sure if there is a dog, everything will be fine.”
Her breathing calmed as he spoke and when she looked at him, she could at least believe he was being sincere and not patronizing.
“I woke up and realized I still didn’t have my memory and I flipped out a little. I’m sorry I woke you.”
“You should be sorry. I am not a morning person.”
She smiled. “You were a little hard to wake up.”
He smiled back. “Just be grateful you weren’t trying to wake Chuck. He’s worse than I am and he flails.”
“I thought I would be better.” Her voice cracked and she hated how completely broken she sounded.
He bumped her shoulder with his. “Can I make an observation?”
“You’re asking me? If I recall last night, and I do at least remember that, you’ve already made several.”
“Did it upset you?”
She shook her head. “I was ready to cling to anything you told me. Hoping it might trigger something. You can’t know how this feels. It’s like an emptiness. I want to say I’ve never felt anything like
