swallowed hard. “Because it goes much deeper. I realized that today, too.” She stared off past Serena’s shoulder. “Remember that day Ethan and Daniel rescued us from Boyd’s apartment?”
“I’m not likely to ever forget it.”
“I was so afraid Boyd was going to kill you and Ethan like he killed Greg. I passed out and when I came to, I was lying on the floor and Daniel had his ear against my breasts. At first I didn’t know what was going on, then I realized my robe was open and I didn’t have anything on but a pair of bikini panties. I knew he was a policeman and I was so embarrassed.”
Serena rubbed her arm. “You shouldn’t be. We were all very worried about you. Daniel was just trying to see if you were still breathing. I don’t think he even noticed you were almost naked.”
“But I noticed.” She blinked back a tear. “Sometimes I dream I’m on that stage, taking off my clothes, and I hear the men hollering and whistling. I didn’t want Daniel to see me like that.”
“Are you saying you have feelings for Daniel?”
“No, but I don’t want him to see me that way.”
“What way?”
“Like a slut.”
Serena caught Sarah’s face and turned it so she could look into her eyes. “Listen to me. You’re not a slut. No one, including Daniel, sees you that way. You’re a beautiful, talented, courageous young woman. And you’re strong—stronger than I ever could be. I love you and I’m so glad you’re my sister.”
Sarah wrapped her arms around Serena and rested her head on her shoulder. “Help me, Serena. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want the pain and nightmares to stop. I know all the textbook stuff, but it’s hard to apply that to myself.”
“Okay, then, let’s do something different.”
Sarah pulled back. “Like what?”
Serena became thoughtful. “Well, you say you’re cold, so let’s warm you up.”
“Do you have something in mind?”
“Yes, and of course this is a lay person’s point of view—to make a woman feel better about herself, it helps to make her look great on the outside. Once you gain some confidence in your femininity again, I think the rest will follow. As a counselor you’ll have to sort through all the debris that’s making you feel this way and I’ll be here to help you any way I can.”
“Thank you,” Sarah replied, gaining confidence from her sister. “True healing comes from here—” she placed a hand over her heart “—and here.” She pointed to her head. “But in my case, working on the exterior couldn’t hurt and I know exactly where to start.” Excitement bubbled inside her. She had to change herself outwardly before her emotions ever had a chance to heal. She unbuttoned the top two buttons on her blouse, then thought, What the hell? and undid another.
Serena jumped up. “And the hair. We need to do something with the hair.” Her eyes grew bright. “Let’s do a complete makeover. We have the whole afternoon to create a lot of warmth.”
Sarah got to her feet. “What about Ethan, Jassy and Gran?”
“I’ll call Ethan on his cell phone. He’s been wanting to visit a ranching supply place here and Jassy’s happy as long as she’s with her daddy. I’ll leave Gran a note. After the busy morning, she’ll be glad for a break.”
“Then let’s do it,” Sarah said with gusto.
“Okay.” Serena studied Sarah. “I’m thinking shorter hair. What are you thinking?”
Sarah smiled. “I’m thinking I’m so glad you’re home.”
DANIEL WALKED INTO the police station and found Russ Devers slipping on his jacket, ready to go out. Russ was, as Sarah had said, a macho cop. Daniel and Russ had clashed many times, mainly about correct police procedure, which Russ tended to ignore. He broke the rules constantly and his lieutenant had a list of complaints about the methods he used to get the job done. There were complaints about his appearance, too. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail and his clothes looked as if he’d gotten them out of the hamper. He chewed constantly on a toothpick, fighting a smoking habit. But Russ was good at solving crimes, so the grievances were filed away.
“What’s the matter, Daniel?” Russ spouted off. “Didn’t you get the message last night? I don’t require your help anymore.”
Daniel clenched his jaw at Russ’s attempt to assert his authority. But he’d come here for a reason.
“I didn’t come to argue with you, Russ. I came to apologize.”
Russ stopped stuffing papers into his pocket and looked up. “Well, I’ll be damned. You’re actually admitting you were wrong.”
“Yes. I stepped over the line last night and I apologize for that.”
Russ shrugged. “What am I supposed to say? That I won’t report you?”
“Do whatever you feel you have to. Just go easy on the girl. She’s just a kid.”
“Don’t tell me how to do my job,” Russ spat, biting down on the toothpick. “That girl knows something and I’ll get it out of her as long as Ms. Welch stays out of my way.”
Daniel sighed heavily. “If she knows something, which I doubt, you’ll never get it out of her by using heavy-handed tactics.”
“You really piss me off with that ‘good cop’ attitude.”
“Well, Russ, you catch this guy and I’ll stay the hell out of your way forever.”
Russ was ready to say more, but Joel walked up. “Ready, Russ?”
“Yeah.” Russ picked up his cell phone and attached it to his belt. “We’re meeting with the kid who threw the party to get the names of everyone who was there. Then we’ll have the name of the rapist and Miss Wallace will help to finger him.”
“I hope you catch him,” was all Daniel said.
Russ brushed past him. “I will, and I don’t need your help.”
Daniel didn’t respond. He didn’t feel he had to.
Russ stopped and turned back. “Thanks for the apology.”
Daniel nodded and watched in silence as Russ and Joel walked away. He hadn’t mentioned that he was quitting the force. It wasn’t any of Russ’s business. He was quitting. For the first time, the word played in his mind. He’d never quit anything in his life and the words suddenly stuck in his throat. He was quitting.
His phone buzzed and he wiped the thought away.
“Daniel, it’s Ethan.”
“Hey, Ethan, how the hell are you?” He’d never felt so glad to hear his old friend’s voice.
“Fine. I was hoping you had time for lunch.”
“Sure.
