woman, with her innocent questions about casino school, had revealed more than she’d ever know with that one query.
“Deacon?”
“Yes.”
“Are we getting out here? Are we going to have a picnic?” she asked. A hint of nervousness permeated her words.
“Yes to both.”
“Can I help?”
“No. Tonight is just for you,” he said as he climbed out of the car. “Why don’t you flip through the CDs and find one you like, while I take care of everything.”
He removed the cashmere blanket from the trunk and quickly set up their picnic dinner. He opened the bottle of wine to let it breathe and then put out the china plates.
The dinner the chef had provided was still warm from the bags it had been packed in. He heard the throaty sounds of Louis Armstrong come from the car and then Kylie appeared at his side.
He got her seated on the blanket and served her dinner. She sat nervously next to him picking at her food. “Relax,” he said at last.
“I’m trying. This just isn’t my scene,” she said, gesturing to the picnic items.
“Not the outdoorsy type?” he asked. Truth be told, he wasn’t much of a outdoorsy guy. He could survive, because where he’d come from, you learned to do that early on. But he preferred the city. That jungle was his life’s blood.
It was a clear night, and the sky was filled with stars. She set her plate on the blanket next to her, then leaned back and looked up at the sky.
He realized that when she wouldn’t look at him was when she revealed the most about herself.
“Not that, so much as the whole date thing,” she said at last.
“Why not?”
“My mother says it’s because of my divorce.”
She was divorced. He hadn’t planned on his potential wife having been down the aisle once before. He needed to find out more about this. “Is your mother right?”
She shrugged, took a sip of wine and stared at the openness around them. He realized she wasn’t going to say any more. But he had big plans for her. And the bit of cleavage revealed by the neckline of her dress made it damned hard to concentrate on getting information about her past from her.
There was a sadness in her eyes that made him want to cradle her in his arms and promise that she’d never feel sad again. Of course, he knew that was a promise he couldn’t keep, but still she made him want to take vows that would keep her safe. “What happened to end your marriage?”
“You don’t want to hear about that.”
“But I do. I’m very interested in everything that made you into the woman you are today.”
“You don’t have to try so hard.”
He set his wineglass down, not sure he liked where this was going. He wasn’t really trying hard to do anything except keep himself from touching her body and finding out if she really was as soft as he imagined. And from kissing her full lips to ascertain if they were as luscious as they looked.
“Try so hard at what?”
“Hitting on me,” she said.
“Angel, you’re not even close.”
“I’ve heard that before.” She crossed her arms over and gave a look so prim it took all his willpower not to kiss it off.
He took a deep swallow of his wine and wished it was a double Scotch, instead. “No wonder you don’t date.”
“What do you mean?” she asked defensively.
“Exactly what you think it means. You’re a pain in the ass.”
“That’s more like it,” she said.
“What is?”
“Honesty. I know I’ve got more barriers than Nellis Air Force Base, but you have to understand that smooth talking is not going to turn my head.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because my ex-husband taught me a lesson about truth and men I’ll never forget.”
He didn’t really want to hear about the other men in Kylie’s life. Though he suspected there hadn’t been many. She’d confessed to not dating, and there was a look about her that warned men away. He waited for her to go on.
She sighed and said, “Men are looking for something different than woman are.”
“What is that?” he asked. He’d often wondered what women thought men were looking for. He also wondered about Kylie’s ex-husband and what a fool the man must have been.
“A combination of Martha Stewart, Cindy Crawford and Madeline Albright,” she said.
“And what do women want?”
“A woman wants to be loved for who she is. Not because of who a man wants her to be,” she said quietly. She abruptly stood up and looked out at the vast landscape, and he knew she wasn’t seeing the present but the past, and the woman she was and the man who couldn’t love her. He vowed not to make the same mistake her ex-husband had.
Three
Deacon wasn’t sure what kind of man her ex had been, but he knew he’d left Kylie with some pretty powerful delusions of what men wanted. Deacon was straightforward in his desires. The right lover made any woman feel like a supermodel. He made a mental note to prove to Kylie her desirability.
Love was a different matter. He’d learned early on that deep affection was an illusion. Every day he saw couples getting married in Vegas, couples swearing eternal devotion. A devotion that he suspected lasted only as long as they were in the make-believe land of casinos and nightclubs. A world apart from reality. He’d vowed at twenty-eight that he was through with love and he hadn’t once gone back on his word. He didn’t intend to.
“I’m not looking for any of those women you named, Kylie. Then again, I was raised around showgirls.”
She tilted her head to the side and watched him. She was so shy sometimes and then at other times too bold. He had the feeling she was way out of her element here with him. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.
“Was your mom a showgirl?” she asked.
He didn’t want to talk about his past, but he also didn’t want to lose Kylie because she thought he was like every other guy she’d ever met. If he knew one thing, he was nothing like those other men. Unless she’d frequented prisons. Only luck and determination had kept him from incarceration.
“Sort of.”
“What kind of answer is that?”
An
