in the fantasy that had taken hold.
“I said, would you mind if I lived with you? I’ve been staying with my folks but we really need our own space.”
He nodded. Living with him worked. “That sounds perfect. What do I need to do to get the place ready for you? Are we doing this?”
She leaned forward and he saw that same concern and uncertainty in her eyes and he realized that fantasies aside, he never wanted to put Bianca in a position where she was anything but a friend to him. He wanted her to be able to count on him. Even if that meant ignoring his own need for her.
“I want to say yes. Can I have the evening to think it over?” she asked, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I want to make sure I haven’t missed any details and I want to run it by Benito. Make sure he’s okay with another man in my life.”
“He’s two, right?”
“Yes, but he and I are very close and I just...after losing his father, I want to make sure he’s going to be okay,” Bianca said.
Derek nodded. He wasn’t going to force her. He was surprised she’d considered his offer and was willing to go along with it as far as she had this evening.
“That sounds fair,” he said, pulling his phone from his pocket and checking his calendar. “I don’t have any surgeries scheduled for tomorrow morning so I’m free. Would you and Benito like to come over to my place for breakfast? You can check it out and he can meet me.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Too bad she didn’t seem so convinced of that. He wasn’t too sure how to convince her. This wasn’t like the operating room where he knew all the variables and could make sure nothing went wrong. This was life where he tended to make mistakes, and he really hoped this didn’t turn out to be a big one.
* * *
As she sat there with Derek, Bianca knew that one night wasn’t going to be enough time to ensure she made the right choice. But then a two-year-long engagement to Jose hadn’t really been beneficial in hindsight. This would work. She needed it to.
She had been struggling since she’d returned to Cole’s Hill. She’d stayed in Spain for nine months after Jose’s death and then just after Benito had turned twenty-two months old had decided to come back to Texas but she was no closer to figuring out what was next. She was the first to admit that her knee-jerk reaction of divorcing Jose when she’d found out about his mistress had been just her way of getting out of a bad marriage. She’d never thought beyond hurting him the way he’d hurt her. Now that he was dead, she’d hoped the anger would be gone, but she knew it was still there.
And not working, living with her parents where they had a cleaning staff and wanted to hire a nanny for her, just gave her too much time to think about—dwell on—the past. It was humiliating and not productive.
This idea of Derek’s was a little bit on the crazy side, she knew that, but there was a part of her that really liked it. From certain angles, she saw it as the solution to all of her problems. She wanted to be out of her parents’ house and out from under their overprotectiveness. She could research some career options besides modeling and give her a chance to be the kind of mom to Beni that she wanted to be.
“Yes. That sounds good to me,” Bianca repeated. She realized she might have been staring at Derek. As their eyes met something passed between them that never had before.
A zing.
An awareness.
Oh, no. Had he figured out that she’d been secretly crushing on him for the last few months? How embarrassing. She gave him her cotillion smile—the one she always used to put boys in their place back in the day—and then pushed her chair back. “I think I should be getting home.”
“I’ll walk you back,” he said. “Or we can steal one of the golf carts.”
She shook her head. “I thought we both agreed to never speak of golf carts.”
“No one will suspect a thing,” he said.
“That’s what you thought the last time. And I’m pretty sure that the groundskeeper knew it was us, even though he could never prove it.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re right. So, walking might be the safer option,” Derek said in that easy way of his.
She felt silly thinking that there might have been something between them. It was probably all on her side. It had been a very long time without sex—since before Beni was born—and she wasn’t dead. She had been hoping she’d at least feel okay hooking up with one of her mom’s blind dates. But so far it hadn’t worked out.
“You okay?” he asked, coming around to hold her chair while she stood.
“Yes. Sorry. Just tired. Being ‘on’ with a stranger is draining,” she said.
Derek put his hand on the small of her back and she felt that zing again. This time a shiver spread up her spine and she stepped aside, fumbling for her handbag.
He followed her out of the dining room. She had an account at the club like all of the families who were members, so they didn’t have to settle any bill.
“I need to let my brothers know I’m leaving,” Derek said.
She nodded, still more in her head thinking about what he’d asked of her. His family was large, like hers, and she understood the dynamics of having siblings around.
The evening was warm; the unseasonable heat of the day hadn’t dissipated yet. The parking lot was full of cars and though it was the middle of the week it felt like the weekend. The night was busy and full of life and she realized that was what she’d been missing.
She hadn’t felt busy in a long time. She wasn’t saying she had the whole mothering thing licked but she and Beni had fallen into a routine where she knew what to expect. And life had become routine instead of fun. She knew that was why she was thinking of taking Derek up on this idea. It was the first unexpected thing to happen to her since...well, for a really long time.
“I’m glad you’re back in Cole’s Hill,” he said.
“Me, too. Remember how badly we wanted to get out of here?” she asked. “I really thought modeling was going to be the life for me. I mean I figured I’d be like Kate Moss and spend the rest of my life living in the jet set...but now, I’m sort of glad that I’m right here.”
“Was Benito planned?” he asked.
“That’s kind of personal,” she said, but only because he’d stumbled onto an argument she and Jose had had many times.
“We’re going to be ‘engaged’ and we’re friends,” he said. “Just asking because your dream life didn’t sound like it included motherhood.”
“It didn’t. With all my brothers, I never thought about having a family of my own. I figured I’d be the cool auntie to my nieces and nephews,” she said.
“So what happened?” he asked.
“Well...” She paused as they turned off the sidewalk
