and she looked down lovingly at them as they slept. For just a moment, she’d been so scared....
What would she do if anything happened to either one of them? She couldn’t let herself think about that. That was a place she didn’t want to go.
Connor watched her. He was pretty sure he knew what she was thinking about. Anything happening to her kids would just about destroy her. He’d seen her face when she first realized she was losing Brad. He remembered that pain almost as if it had been his own. And losing these little ones would be ten times worse.
He drove Mrs. Mulberry home and when he got back, all was quiet. The lights that had blazed out across the landscape were doused and a more muted atmosphere prevailed. The house seemed to be at peace.
Except for one thing—the sound of sniffles coming from the kitchen where Jill was sitting at the table with her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee.
“Hey,” he said, sliding in beside her on the bench seat. “You okay?”
She turned her huge, dark, tragic eyes toward him.
“I leave the house for just a few hours—leave the boys for more than ten minutes—the first time in a year. And chaos takes over.” She searched his gaze for answers. “Is that really not allowed? Am I chained to this place, this life, forever? Do I not dare leave...ever?”
He stared down at her. He wanted to make a joke, make her smile, get her out of this mood, but he saw real desperation in her eyes and he couldn’t make light of that.
“Hey.” He brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “It’s not forever. Things change quickly for kids. Don’t let it get you down. In a month, it will be different.”
She stared up at him. How could he possibly know that? And yet, somehow, she saw the wisdom in what he’d said. She shook her head and smiled. “Connor, why didn’t you come back sooner? I love your smile.”
He gave her another one, but deep down, he groaned. This was exactly why he had to get out of here as soon as he could. He slumped down lower in the seat and tried to think of something else reassuring to say, but his mind wouldn’t let go of what she’d just said to him.
I love your smile.
Pretty pathetic to grasp at such a slender reed, but that was just about all he had, wasn’t it?
Jill was back on the subject at hand, thinking about the babysitter. “Here I hired her because I thought an older woman would be calmer with a steadier hand.” She rolled her eyes. “A teenage girl would have been better.”
“Come on, that’s not really fair. She got a lot thrown at her at once and she wasn’t prepared for it. It could have happened to anyone.”
She shook her head as though she just couldn’t accept that. “I’m lucky I’ve got my sister close by for emergencies. But she’s getting more and more caught up in her career, and it’s a pretty demanding one. I really can’t count on her for too much longer.” She sighed. “She had to be at a business dinner in Seattle tonight, or she would have been here to take care of the boys.”
“Family can be convenient.” He frowned. “Don’t you have a younger sister? I thought I met her once.”
Instead of answering, she moaned softly and closed her eyes. “Kelly. Yes. She was our half sister.” She looked at him, new tragedy clouding her gaze. “Funny you should remember her tonight. She was killed in a car crash last week.”
“Oh, my God. Oh, Jill, I’m so sorry.”
She nodded. “It’s sad and tragic and brings on a lot of guilty feelings for Sara and me.”
He shook his head, not understanding. “What did you have to do with it?”
“The accident? Oh, nothing. It happened in Virginia where I guess she was living lately. The guilt comes from not even knowing exactly where she was and frankly, not thinking about her much. We should have paid more attention and worked a little harder on being real sisters to her.”
There was more. He could tell. But he waited, letting her take her time to unravel the story.
“She was a lot younger, of course. Our mother died when we were pretty young, and our father remarried soon after. Too soon for us, of course. After losing our mother, we couldn’t bear to share our beloved father with anyone. We resented the new woman, and when she had a baby, we pretty much resented her, too.” She shook her head. “It was so unfair. Poor little girl.”
“Didn’t you get closer as she got older?”
“Not really. You see, the marriage was a disaster from the start and it ended by the time Kelly was about five years old. We only saw her occasionally after that, for a few hours at a time. And then our father died by the time she was fifteen and we didn’t see either one of them much at all after that.”
“That’s too bad.”
She nodded. “Yes. I’m really sorry about it now.” She sighed. “She was something of a wild child, at least according to my father’s tales of woe. Getting into trouble even in high school. The sort of girl who wants to test the boundaries and explore the edge.”
“I know your father died a few years ago. What about your stepmother?”
“She died when I was about twenty-three. She had cancer.”
“Poor lady.”
“Yes. Just tragic, isn’t it? Lives snuffed out so casually.” She shook her head. “I just feel so bad about Kelly. It’s so sad that we never got to know her better.”
“Just goes to show. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Don’t let your opportunities slip by.”
“Yes.” She gave him a look. “When did you become such a philosopher?”
“I’ve always been considered wise among my peers,” he told her in a snooty voice that made her laugh.
A foghorn sounded its mournful call and she looked up at a clock. “And now here you are, stuck. The last ferry’s gone. You’re going to have to stay here.”
He smiled at her. “Unless I hijack a boat.”
“You can sleep on the couch.” She shrugged. “Or sleep in the master bedroom if you want. Nobody else does.”
The bitter tone was loud and clear, and it surprised him.
“Where do you sleep?” he asked her.
“In the guest room.” Her smile was bittersweet. “That’s why you can’t use it.”
He remembered glancing in at the master bedroom when he was upstairs. It looked like it had always looked. She and Brad had shared that bed. He looked back at her and didn’t say a word.
She didn’t offer an explanation, but he knew what it was. She couldn’t sleep in that bed now that Brad had abandoned it.
He nodded. “I’ll take the couch.”
She hesitated.
