what difference did it make now?
“No,” she admitted. “You never made a promise you didn’t keep, but like always, you’re grossly oversimplifying. It wasn’t about lies or broken promises. In all the time we were together you never once showed an ounce of incentive. A drive to succeed.”
“How do you figure?”
Was he kidding? “Dillon, you were flunking out of school! All you did was drink and gamble.”
He shrugged. “So?”
So? Was that all he had to say? Just so? “You had so much potential. You could have gone so far.”
“Could have? I run a billion-dollar corporation, Ivy. How much further did you expect me to go?”
“You know what I mean,” she said, although he did have a point. But turning out okay despite his behavior didn’t make it right. It just meant he was lucky.
“What I know, Ivy, is that my future was set. My parents had been priming me since the day I was born. I knew that when my dad retired I would take his place. You may find this hard to swallow, but I considered it an honor. One I took very seriously.”
He sat up, closer now. Too close. His eyes serious. It was unsettling because Dillon didn’t do serious very often. “But, damn it, if I was going to be chained to that company for most of my adult life, I was not going to spend my youth with my nose buried in a textbook. I was going to have fun.”
“How was I supposed to know that?”
“You did know that. You knew it because I told you a thousand times. Every time you rode me because I skipped class, or blew off studying to hit a party. I never lied to you, I never made a promise I didn’t keep. I never gave you a reason to not believe what I said was true, but that wasn’t good enough for you. Which brings us right back to where we started. You. Didn’t. Trust. Me.”
He was turning everything around, making it look like it was her fault.
May be he was right. May be she hadn’t trusted him completely. But it was more complicated than that. “You may not have given me a reason to mistrust you,” she told him, “but trust has to be earned. You have to make promises to keep them.”
“If you didn’t trust me, Ivy, why the hell did you marry me?”
“I wish I hadn’t!” she shot back, regretting the words instantly. It was one thing to be angry, but that comment had been downright mean. A vicious low blow.
Dillon gave her this look. Not cold or warm, annoyed or insulted. His face was a blank page. A blank page in a book whose language she had never been able to translate. “I’m real sorry to hear that our life together was such a disappointment for you.”
Awkward silence echoed through the room like thunder.
It had happened again. No matter how hard they tried, they just couldn’t seem to get along. As usual, nothing had been resolved.
Their relationship was like a long string of Christmas lights rolled up in one big, knotted ball. There was a very short beginning and a sharp, stubby end, but the middle part was so densely tangled and riddled with missing bulbs, she wasn’t sure if they could ever make sense of it.
May be they weren’t meant to resolve anything. May be the trick was to throw the old set out and shop for a new one. Or stop hanging the lights altogether, even if it did make life drab and colorless at times. Boring even.
Boring, but safe.
The air was thick and sticky with tension, and she had no idea what to say to him. Thankfully, Deidre chose that second to knock on the door.
Move forward and don’t look back. The best part of your life lies ahead. Life’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.
—excerpt from The Modern Woman’s Guide to Divorce (And the Joy of Staying Single)
“Hey, Ivy, you in there?”
“Come in,” Ivy called. Deidre’s timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
The doorknob jiggled and she said, “It’s locked.”
She shot Dillon a look. He had broken in, then relocked the door? The man gave himself far too much credit.
She crossed the room and let her cousin in. Deidre looked considerably better than she had earlier. The color had returned to her cheeks, and she’d lost that muddled, slightly dazed expression. She always had been quick to bounce back.
“I can’t find Dillon and I was wondering—” She spotted Dillon lounging on the bed. “Oh! There you are.”
Curiosity leaped like wild flames in her eyes, but she played it cool. Ivy could just imagine what she must be thinking. Dillon half-naked on her bed, Ivy in her robe.
It looked pretty bad.
He didn’t even have the decency to look guilty or uncomfortable. Or May be that was a good thing, since they had no reason to feel either. As useless as this conversation had turned out to be, it hadn’t been in any way inappropriate. “Yes, ma’am.”
“The tailor is here to do the final fitting on the tuxedos. They’re waiting for you in the master suite downstairs.”
He pulled himself to his feet. “Guess I should get down there.”
Taking his time, he grabbed his shirt, turned it right side in, then pulled it over his head. There was something hypnotizing about a man getting dressed, the easy flex and pull of muscle. Yards of smooth skin.
Too bad it wasn’t anyone but him.
He crossed the room to the door, but instead of leaving, he stopped. Right by Ivy. He stood there, closer than she was comfortable with. Close enough to look suggestive and raise even more questions.
Which was probably what he wanted. It was probably his way of getting back at her for hitting so far below the belt. She would apologize, but really, hadn’t he brought it on himself? Wasn’t he the one following her around, breaking into her room, harassing her?
And if that was true, why did she feel so guilty?
Their eyes locked, and his gaze was so intense she could swear he was seeing straight through her skin to her insides. And for some stupid reason she couldn’t look away.
Could he really see inside her? And if so, could he see how bad she felt? Did he know that she wanted to apologize?
He leaned toward her the tiniest bit, tilted his head a fraction, and for one brief, horrifying, exhilarating second she thought he was going to kiss her. Right in front of her cousin. Her pulse began to race and her mouth went dry.
Explaining to Deidre why they were in her room together, and getting her to believe it, would be difficult enough.
She
