rumours such as the outrageous one you just relayed to me, but I can assure you I have never been unfaithful to your brother. It’s just not something I would do. I know it in my heart.’
Izabella gave her a challenging glare. ‘How would you know? You say you don’t remember anything from the past two years. How do you know what you did?’
It was a very good point, Emelia had to admit. But, deep down, she knew she would never have betrayed her marriage vows. How she was going to prove it was something she had yet to work out. Her reputation had been ruined by scandalous reports in the media. Who would believe her, even if she could remember what had happened that fateful day?
‘Did you ever love my brother?’ Izabella asked.
The question momentarily knocked Emelia off course. She looked at the young woman blankly, knowing as each pulsing second passed another layer of blame was being shovelled on top of her. ‘I…I don’t feel it is anyone’s business but Javier’s and mine,’ she said.
Izabella gave a scathing snort. ‘You never loved him. What you love is what he can give you—the lifestyle, the clothes, the jewellery. It’s all you have ever wanted from him.’
‘That is not true.’ Please don’t let it be true, Emelia thought.
‘He is not going to remain faithful to you, you know. Why should he when you played up behind his back?’
Emelia felt a stake go through her middle. It surprised her how much Izabella’s coolly delivered statement hurt her. Her mind filled with images of Javier with other women, his body locked with theirs, giving and receiving pleasure. Perhaps even now he was entertaining himself with some gorgeous creature in Moscow. She shook her head, trying to get the torturous images to disappear. ‘No,’ she said in a rasping whisper. ‘No…’
‘He should never have married you,’ Izabella said. ‘Everyone told him it would end in disaster.’
Emelia lifted her aching head to meet Izabella’s gaze. ‘Why did he marry me, then?’
‘Because he needed to be married to gain access to our father’s estate,’ Izabella said.
Emelia felt her heart give another sickening lurch. ‘He married me to…to get money?’
‘You surely don’t think he loved you, do you?’ Izabella threw her a disdainful look. ‘He wanted you and what he wants he usually gets. You were a convenient wife. A trophy he wanted by his side. But that is all you are to him. He does not love you.’
‘Did I know this?’ Emelia asked in a hoarse whisper.
Izabella’s expression lost some of its hauteur. ‘I am not sure…’ She bit down on her bottom lip in a way that seemed to strip years off her. ‘Perhaps not. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything…’
Emelia reached for something to hold onto to steady herself. ‘I can’t believe I agreed to such an emotionless arrangement…’ She looked at the young girl with an anguished expression on her face. ‘I always wanted to marry for love. Are you sure I was not in love with Javier?’
Izabella looked troubled. ‘If you were, you never said anything to me. You kept your feelings to yourself, although it was pretty obvious you were attracted to him. But then he’s attractive to a lot of women.’
Emelia didn’t want to think about that. It was just too painful. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve given you the wrong impression,’ she said after a moment. ‘Javier told me you and I haven’t had the easiest of relationships. I hope I haven’t done anything to upset you. I have never had a sister before. I’ve always wanted one, especially after my mother died. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to about girl stuff.’
Izabella’s dark brown eyes softened a fraction. ‘Javier is the best brother a girl could have but there are times when I would rather share what is going on in my life with another woman. My mother is OK but she just worries if I talk to her about boys. She always thinks I am going to get pregnant or something.’
Emelia smiled. ‘I guess it’s what mothers do best—worry.’
Izabella’s mouth tilted in a wary smile. ‘You seem so different,’ she said. ‘Almost like a completely different person.’
‘To tell you the truth, Izabella, I feel like a completely different person from the one everyone expects me to be,’ Emelia confessed. ‘I look at the clothes in my wardrobe and I can’t believe I have ever worn them. They seem so…so…I don’t know…not me. And when I was down at the stables Pedro told me I had refused to ride the horse Javier bought me last month for my birthday. I don’t understand it. Why would I not ride that beautiful horse?’
‘Ever since your birthday you seemed a little unsettled,’ Izabella said. ‘When you had the accident we all assumed it was because you were in love with another man. Now, I wonder if it wasn’t because you were becoming a little tired of your life here. There is only so much time you can spend in the shops or the gym.’
Emelia felt her face heat up with colour. ‘Yes, well, that’s another thing I don’t get. I hate the gym. I can think of nothing worse than an elliptical trainer or a stationary bike and weight machines.’
‘You worked out religiously,’ Izabella said. ‘You lost pounds and pounds within weeks of meeting Javier. And you are always dieting whenever Javier’s away.’
Emelia thought back to her hearty breakfast that morning. ‘No wonder I’ve been such a pain to be around,’ she said with a wry grimace. ‘I’m hopeless at diets. I have no self control. I get bitchy when I deprive myself.’
Izabella grinned. ‘I do too.’
There was a little pause.
‘You won’t tell Javier I was so horrible to you, will you?’ Izabella said with a worried look. ‘He will be angry with me for upsetting you. I should have thought…You have just had a terrible accident. I am sorry about your friend. You must be very sad.’
‘I am coping with it,’ Emelia said. ‘But I wish I knew what really happened that day.’
Izabella bit her lip again. ‘Maybe you were leaving Javier because you didn’t want to continue with the marriage as it was. The press would have latched on to it pretty quickly and made it out to be something it wasn’t. Javier was furious. He was determined to divorce you but then he got news of the accident.’ Her slim throat rose and fell. ‘He was devastated when he heard you might not make it. He tried to hide it but I could tell he was terrified you would die.’
Emelia frowned as she tried to make sense of it all. If Javier didn’t want her in his life permanently, why suffer her presence just because of her memory loss? Given what he believed of her, what hope did she have of restoring his trust in her? Had he known her so little that he had readily believed the specious rumours of the press? What sort of marriage had they had that it would crumble so quickly? Surely over the almost two years they had been together a level of trust had been established? She felt sure she would not have settled for anything else. It was so frustrating to have no way of finding out the truth. Her mind was like the missing black box of a crashed aircraft. Within it were all the clues to what had happened and until it was found she would have to try and piece together what she could to make sense of it all. Her head ached from the pressure of trying to remember. Her eyes felt as if
