churn.
I texted Jack from the bathroom at work to let him know I was still working on my team list with Elaine. I roll my eyes. I argued with myself about whether or not to text him in front of her, but then opted for the privacy of my bathroom stall. It was not my most prideful moment.
I pop the cork of the bottle and let the burgundy liquid fill up the glass. Well, not fill up…I like to keep my glass half full… It’s better for aerating and a much tastier sip. I lift the glass and take a long swig. My shoulders drop. Ah, definitely worth the wait. It’s woodsy. I sigh. Anything woodsy reminds me of Jack and his delicious scent. It’s sandalwood and apples and makes me want to take a long walk in the forest with no hope of ever leaving.
Which is what I signed up for when I said yes to his proposal. But now…now I’m lost. I’m spinning around in this forest of so many different paths and I’m not sure if Jack and I will ever meet up to join in our journey of life together. I know it’s only been a day. But…I miss him. After these last twelve hours, it would be so great to fall into his arms and take in his scent—forget about Elaine and her overstepping. I shake my head.
A vibrating sound is coming from my purse. I rush from the kitchen to the living room to retrieve my phone. The contact pops up at the top of the screen. It’s my mom. I roll my eyes. I’m sure she wants to talk wedding stuff.
“Hello?”
“Hi honey, how was your first day as a manager?”
“Good. Really good, but I only just got home.” I hesitate about telling her goodbye immediately.
“Oh dear, honey, it’s after seven. Is this going to be your new schedule?”
“Ah, I hope not.” I laugh.
“Well, anyways, I wanted to see if you’d had a chance to check out the Pinterest boards I made for you. I’d really like for us to settle on a theme so that I can focus on that.”
“Oh, yeah I’m sorry, Mom, I haven’t had a chance to check them out. I was really busy all day at work and like I said I just got home. I haven’t even eaten yet.” I pat my stomach as I head back to the kitchen.
“Oh honey, that’s not good. I’ll let you go then. Have a good night.”
“Thanks, Mom, I’ll check out the Pinterest thing as soon as I get a chance.”
“The sooner the better.” She laughs.
“Goodnight, Mom.”
I hit the end button and put my phone on the counter. Now, what to eat? I desperately want to talk to Jack, but I might pass out from hunger. The salad at lunch was hardly appetizing and definitely not filling. My stomach growls almost as if on cue. It’s wouldn’t be a good idea to chat with him on an empty stomach. Being hungry is not a good quality. Especially since every moment I speak with him I want to be pleasant and fun, not grumpy.
I open my refrigerator. As I suspected it’s empty. I got in late yesterday from my flight back from Texas, so I haven’t had an opportunity to buy groceries. The pantry only offers one solution. Popcorn. Might as well. I get out my pan and place it on my gas stove. I drizzle vegetable oil in the bottom of the pan to cover it in a nice thin layer and then cover the oil with the kernels. I blast the heat on high. I think I’ve got enough to time to change into my comfy clothes. I stride to my bedroom and take off my three-inch red heels. I place them on my shoe rack. With my first paycheck for this position I’m planning on buying celebratory shoes to mark my success. I haven’t figured out which ones yet, but the centrifugal force of Stuart Weitzman always pulls me in as I pass by the store at the mall.
My skirt drops to the floor and I toss it on my bed along with my white blouse. I dash to my maple dresser and pull open my comfy clothes drawer. Nothing like a pair of slimming black yoga pants and purple hoodie to make me all cozy inside. And sheesh, thank goodness I had a salad for lunch today. My skirt was not exactly providing a ton of breathable room. Maybe I did overindulge a bit over the holidays.
I made Jack a red velvet cake as part of his Christmas gift. It was the dessert his mother had always made before his parents died. We had it after Christmas dinner with my family and almost everyone was full from the dinner and begged for small slices. Jack took the rest of it home with him and the next day…we got a little creative with the leftovers, especially the cream cheese frosting. My mouth waters. I remember licking some of it off of Jack. Mmmm…I rush back to the kitchen.
With this new position if I do have these late hours, when would I find time to make it to the gym? And the stress. The stress of the job and planning a wedding? My cortisol levels are going to be shooting through the roof. I’ve got to figure out a plan. I might have to add squats or jogging in place into my routine. I squat down ten times in a row. Who am I kidding? I’m exhausted. Doing squats is the last thing I want to do right now.
The white kernels are popping open the lid. I grab my silver popcorn bowl from the bottom cupboard and pour the luscious fluffy snack into it. I swipe my salt off the counter and sprinkle the popcorn. I glance at the clock on my stove. It’s now almost eight o’clock.
I mosey into the living room and place the popcorn on my mahogany coffee table. Megan gave me How to Win Friends and Influence People as a Christmas gift and oddly enough Aurora, my brother Luke’s wife, also gave me a book, A Guide to Medicinal Herbs. I’m not sure why she gave this to me. I haven’t been sick. I pick up the TV remote. I’ve got a nice flat screen. I’m imagining Jack and I sitting here on my couch watching romantic comedies snuggled under a blanket. Will this vision ever come true? My stomach tightens. He visited me in December, but it was only for a weekend and watching movies was not on our schedule. We did sit here on my couch. And we kissed. I sigh.
I flip through the channels. Unfortunately, The Originals is still on winter break. But, oh my gosh, Downton Abbey comes back next week! I’m so excited, I can’t wait to hear what funny lines the grandmother says this season. Nothing is on and I want to get wrapped up in a show without thinking. I click on my DVR. I’d saved a bunch of Christmas movies even though I knew I wouldn’t be here to watch them.
I click on Love Actually. I own this movie but why get up and operate the DVD player when I can simply click play? I toss some popcorn in my mouth. Yes, I nailed it as usual. I might not be the best cook or baker, but popcorn maker extraordinaire I am indeed. I laugh.
I take a sip of my wine, careful not to spill it. My phone flashes next to me. It’s a text from Jack.
“Still at work?”
I tap on his contact and the phone rings once before he picks up.
“Hey there, are you home?” Jack asks.
A rush of warmth flows over my body. “Yes, sorry, I got home after seven, then my mom called.”
“How was your first day as the new manager?”
“Good…well actually it was okay.” My shoulders slouch and I sip my wine.
“Did something happen? You sound different.”
“No, nothing really happened, it’s just I thought I would be choosing my team, but then Javier invited Elaine to lunch with us and she kind of took over selecting the applicants.”
“Huh. That doesn’t seem right. Why would Javier allow
