over my heart. “And here.” With her other hand she taps my forehead. “Make the two merge.” She nods.
“I want to. I’m just nervous.” I bite my lip.
“Everyone is nervous. You love him, yes?”
“Yes,” I say faster than would seem possible. There is no doubt about my love. I love Jack. I do want to marry him. I’m just nervous about everything that comes along with a marriage including the preceding events: the wedding and the planning. I want it all to be perfect. I don’t want to fail just as our new lives together are joining.
“Then you are going to be fine. Come, let’s show your friend.” Mariska opens the door and Brianna is on her phone in one hand, the champagne flute in her other. She turns around and our eyes meet. Her jaw drops open and she tosses her phone in her purse and rushes towards me.
“Lauren, you look gorgeous. Is this the one?” She gasps.
I laugh. “It’s the first one.”
We both laugh again. “But it’s so gorgeous. You’re so gorgeous. How could you even want to try on anything else after this one?” She shakes her hair over her shoulder.
I roll my eyes. “Are you trying to shirk your duties and only have to partake in one fitting?” I study her face.
“Whoa, wait a minute, my duties? Are you assigning titles?”
I slump my shoulders. “Duties as in my best friend. No I haven’t assigned any titles…yet.”
“Oh, I see. Well no I’m not trying to shirk my best-friend responsibilities. I would never do that. But I do love this dress on you. Let me get a pic.” She digs back in her purse and drags out her cell phone. I’m not huge on photos but this is one moment I do want to preserve. My favorite first wedding dress experience. The first dress I tried on in hopes of finding the perfect dress for my perfect wedding… I laugh. I’m not my sister, Megan… Perfect isn’t exactly an adjective used describe me. But I want it to be. I want this to be right. To be perfect. I want to be perfect for Jack, so that we will be equal. I need him to think and know that I’m bringing as much to the altar as he is. I swallow and smile. I want this pic to look nice, not worrisome like some vintage nineteenth-century forced portrait.
Brianna snaps who knows how many photos of me and the dress. Is it the dress though? I’m seeing only one shade of white. But is this the right shade for me? Will Jack see me in this dress and want to say I do?
My chest tightens. I need to get out of this dress. “Let’s try another one.” I glance at Mariska.
She nods and leads me back to the dressing room. She helps unfasten the dress and lifts it over my head. I suppose she is right. It would be rather difficult to put on and take off a dress of this magnitude alone. I imagine Jack taking off my dress on our wedding night. My stomach tingles. In some ways I do wish we could skip over some things and just get to the marriage part. But I do want to make the special memories and have the pictures to prove they happened. I want to be able to show my children and grandchildren my wedding. Our wedding.
I open the door and peek out at Brianna; her eyes are focused on her phone. She must sense me watching.
“I’m plugging in the dates on my phone. What was it again?” Brianna strides towards me with her phone in hand.
“October twenty-second.” I clear my throat.
“It really is National Nut Day.” Brianna glances up at me. “You can’t be serious.” She tsks.
I roll my eyes. “I am and I like it. It was Jack’s idea.” Finally, after months of pleading for us to set the date, over the Fourth of July under the glow of a million stars and a gorgeous firework display, Jack suggested we get married on National Nut Day. He said he had been going pecans about me since we met the day before Thanksgiving and it only made sense to wed on this date. I happily obliged, as I’m honestly nuts about him as well. Even though it’s been less than a year since we met, it seemed to take forever to set a date. A date? I still don’t understand entirely why Jack was so reluctant to commit to a number. Being engaged was his idea but when it came to me asking about a date he was always so distant and closed off. I shake my head. That’s over. We are on the same page now. He’s not going to keep anything from me anymore. He promised.
Brianna follows me. “Obviously, because he is freaking nuts… This makes no sense. And don’t even think for one second that I will wear brown to resemble a nut for your wedding. I know how your mom is with the theme outfits and I will not participate.” She tosses her long dark hair over her shoulder.
I roll my eyes. “Got it.” Although, I think it would be hilarious to see what kind of costume my mom could come up with for my bridesmaids, I’m sure it would be nut related. I can imagine the skirts opening up as they walk like a shell and maybe some leaves on their sleeves. I shudder. That is truly a vision that I do not want to become a reality.
After trying on ten different dresses I am ten seconds away from not caring anymore about styles. I decide to call it quits for the day and head home. I’m not sure if the first dress I tried on is the one. It’s very possible. But how do you really know? Is finding a dress kind of like finding a husband? You’re sure but yet there is a small piece of you that wonders if you are making the right decision? Jack is the one for me…but I do worry about whether or not I’m making the right decision. I laugh. That is an absurd thought. This is the best decision of my life. Saying yes to Jack is one hundred percent solid; it’s in no way, no how a bad idea. Everything about him is amazing. He makes me laugh. He makes me swoon and he makes me scream for the right reasons. My insides squeeze together. It’s like my heart is going to burst open at the idea of Jack. He is so sexy. His voice alone sends me over the edge.
Despite all of this a little tiny voice says: Are you sure, Lauren? We haven’t even known each other for a year and he has moved mountains to be with me. And that’s when the other voice pops up and bops that one on the head. Hello. Do we need a sound check? This is love. I would be a fool not to recognize it. And I am no fool. I graduated summa cum laude after all. This does stand for something. Those aren’t just passed out like a ribbon for showing up. They take effort. And I’m a manager of my own team. Again, proof of my abilities. All of this should be a further acknowledgement that when I see something I want, I get it. Like Jack. I’ve got him and he’s got me…for eternity. That’s what we have together. The idea of time and aging with Jack doesn’t freak me out—it warms my heart.
His architecture firm is slowly building here and he hired extra staff to take care of Vintage Estates—his family business back in Texas. It’s how we met. My grandmother has an apartment at Vintage Estates. It’s a nice retirement community in Georgetown. She basically set us up, literally and figuratively. All in the name of pecans. I will never forget the day I was in dire need of an extra two ounces of nuts and Jack came to my rescue.
I take in a deep breath and turn the ignition off in my car. Jack has semi-moved into my townhouse in Baltimore. He has his own house in Texas. He wants us to get a bigger house together once we are married. But I don’t see why we need it at this point. My house is plenty big enough for us. What more could we need when we have each other? We both have our careers and I have a very comfy bed. And—even better—Jack is a part of a wine of the month club so we have an endless supply. Which again begs the question of why we would need anything more than this? Shelter, love, and wine. I’m sure Shakespeare must have said something about that. If not, he should have.
I reach for the doorknob and Jack pulls it open. He never ceases
