Cari it was different. Maybe they were on the same wavelength. Or maybe he just liked her better. It didn’t matter. What did matter was that he was calm inside. There was no longer a battle raging between his heart and his head.
“Don’t think of it as me doing something for you,” she said pertly. “I’m doing this for Jamie.”
He only half believed her. He knew there was a provocative buzz between the two of them. She couldn’t deny it, though he could see she wanted to. As though to remind her, he smiled and dropped a quick kiss on her lips.
She drew back, eyes widening. “No, Max,” she said quickly. “I didn’t stay for that. Honestly, I didn’t.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” But he didn’t sound very convincing, even to himself.
She turned and began putting away toys and supplies. He watched her for a moment, then asked, “So tell me, Cari, where did you learn so much about babies?”
To his surprise she froze for a moment, then turned slowly and looked at him with huge, shadowed eyes.
“I had one,” she said softly.
That surprised him. “You have a baby?”
She shook her head. “Not anymore. She died.”
His breath caught in his throat in a way it had never done before. Shock knifed through him and he felt pain for her.
“Oh, Cari,” he began, moving toward her.
She went ramrod stiff, holding him at bay. “I was married, you know,” she said quickly.
He hesitated, fighting the urge to take her in his arms for comfort. “No, I didn’t.”
“My husband and my baby both died in a car accident. It was two years ago.”
“Cari, I’m so sorry.”
She shook her head, not quite meeting his gaze. “Now you know. Okay. I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Of course.”
He watched as she gathered things into piles to go through in the morning. Knowing that she’d been married, knowing about the tragedy in her past, answered a lot of questions for him. He’d known there was something disturbing her. Now he thought he knew what that was. No wonder she seemed to hold the world at arm’s length. To have lost her baby and her husband at such a young age—horrible.
He wanted to hold her close and make it all go away, but he knew she would reject that. He would have to bide his time. Maybe once she knew him better, she would trust him. Oddly enough, he wanted that badly. In fact, he ached to do something for her—anything, and he wasn’t sure why he felt that way.
Oh, he knew the mechanics. She’d had tragedy. He cared about her and wanted to do something to help her get over the agony of it. But why did he seem to have this deep, unfamiliar need to do that? He didn’t remember ever having it before, not with anyone outside of his immediate family. Very strange.
Tito came in from visiting relatives in a local suburb. He was surprised to see Cari there, but welcoming enough. Still, he went off to his own room pretty quickly. And Cari knew it was time to get her sleeping arrangements settled.
She didn’t want to stay in the room Mrs. Turner had used. The nanny’s bags were still scattered across the floor, and her clothes were in the closet and dresser. So Max ordered up a rollaway and set up the bed in the baby’s room. That was for the best. She wanted Jamie to have the feeling someone was always there for him. No gaps. No more being left to cry his heart out on his own.
“I actually understand the theory behind what Mrs. Turner meant to do with him,” she told Max as they were arranging the room. “It doesn’t do to let babies think they can manipulate you all the time. But Jamie’s case is special. He’s missing his mom and he needs extra love to make him feel secure right now, not discipline.”
“I think you’re probably right,” Max told her, talking softly so as not to wake the baby. “I sure feel more comfortable with your methods than I did with the nanny’s.”
“Good.” She smiled at him. Everything he said was reassuring her. Still, she knew the best of intentions could evaporate when one was under stress. She wanted to be there in case she was needed as a buffer. There was no substitute for hands-on child care.
“I’m going to need something to sleep in,” she pointed out, looking down at the blue cocktail dress. It gave her a start to notice how low the neckline was. She’d forgotten. Her cheeks felt hot. Looking up, she saw that Max had been watching and was reading her mind. The awareness between them almost made her gasp. She turned away quickly and didn’t look at him again until he left the room and came back with a large T-shirt for her to use as a nightgown.
He began to talk about random things and she realized he was trying to put her at ease again. She appreciated that, but she didn’t feel comfortable. Despite the presence of Tito in the room on the other side of the suite, they were basically alone together. That made him a threat—to her peace of mind at least. He was too potent a force to ignore.
At one point, he made a comment about C.J. and she couldn’t help but give her own take on things.
“She means to marry you, you know,” she said, looking down into the crib at Jamie as he slept.
He didn’t flinch. Coming up beside her, he smiled down at the drowsy baby. “Yes,” he said casually. “I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that. But I’m afraid you’re right.”
She turned to look at him in exasperation. “How can you be so calm about it? You hardly know her. I mean, you thought I was her last night.”
“I wish I’d been right,” he said dryly, and she gasped, but he was smiling. He turned and gazed at her as though her naiveté amused him. “This is not a love match, Cari. If there is anything to it, it’s more like a business deal.”
“That’s exactly what she told me,” she noted, nodding. “You marry her, your mother gets the ranch. Isn’t that the way it goes?”
“Pretty much.”
She shook her head. “It sounds crazy to me.”
“Life can be crazy sometimes,” he said vaguely, waving her objection away. “But it has its own special logic. People get married for all sorts of reasons. To do it as part of an exchange of goods is one of the most ancient methods in every culture.”
“It seems way too medieval.”
“Really? What will you marry again for, Cari? Love?”
His voice rang with sarcasm at the word, as though he didn’t believe in it. That put her back up a bit, and yet she couldn’t really argue with him when she was going to deny the need to love in her own right.
“I won’t marry again at all,” she said instead. “I don’t need a man in my life.”
He stared at her for a moment, then threw back his head and laughed out loud. “You’re priceless, Cari,” he said. “But this is the way it is. I’ve been dating women for over fifteen years
