and feelings.
His breakfast arrived and Adele made a point of taking another big drink of coffee as he added milk to his cup. The shop was quiet; this was not the hotel’s busiest season, though there were always groups of skiers who, at this hour, were probably already on the slopes.
He put down his spoon and met her gaze again. “So, a wedding planner. How long have you been doing this?”
She cupped her hands around her mug. “Oh, five years now? On my own, at least. I started working for a company in Vancouver, and then I came to Banff with a coworker one summer to help with an event. I fell in love with the area, relocated and started my own business.”
“Risky.”
She nodded. “It was. But I started small, and now I run it from my home. The office space is downstairs, on the main floor, and the upstairs is my living area.” She relaxed a little, pleased that they could manage small talk. “How about you? You’re still in Toronto?”
He nodded. “I’m CFO of a clean energy company now. I actually took next week off so I could enjoy a bit of a vacation here. Then I’ll stop in at the new Calgary office for a day or so before I head back. It’s been a small operation for the last two years, but we’re putting things in motion to make it our western hub.”
“Wow. That’s...great. And you sound as if you love it.”
“Yep.”
She tried a small smile. “I guess we turned out okay then, haven’t we?”
He didn’t answer, just reached for his sandwich. As he lifted it, she noticed there was no ring on his left hand. “Not married, then,” she said quietly.
“Nope. No girlfriend, either. Though that’s a new development.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “Don’t be. It had run its course.”
He sounded so casual, so blasé about it. Adele sat back in her chair and frowned a little. Small talk was well and good, but there was still a wall between them. Perhaps there always would be. It was a wall she’d built, so she could hardly complain about it, could she?
“And your family? They’re well?”
That, at least, prompted a genuine smile. “They are. Mom and Dad still live in Barrie and we kids are spread all over, but we get together a few times a year and video chat. Morgan has twin babies now. Girls.”
“You’re an uncle.”
He grinned and nodded. “They’re three months old. And Tamara is expecting another boy. She and Chris already have two.”
“Two! Your parents must be thrilled. I know how much they love having a big family.”
She really did know. The “big family” had been a big reason why she’d walked away from Dan and the whole Brimicombe clan. Each time they’d visited, his parents had gone on and on about big families and grandkids and having a house full of babies. Dan had said on more than one occasion that being a Brimicombe meant being a part of a big, happy family. That he wanted at least three or four kids of his own, so that all the cousins and siblings could grow up together, as they had.
Finding out she could never give him the children he wanted had nearly destroyed her. She hadn’t wanted him to be destroyed, too. Or for his family to pretend it didn’t matter when it was so obvious it would.
“They’re over the moon,” he replied softly. “Four grandkids, another on the way and apparently we’re just getting started. Dad wants enough to field his own softball team.”
There was a tone in his voice she couldn’t ignore. Was it that he wasn’t contributing to the grandkid count? Or was it deeper than that? He’d wanted children and still didn’t have any. Even though there was lots of time—he wouldn’t be thirty for another four months—she wondered if seeing his sisters with babies was highlighting something he was missing.
“What about Drew?” she asked, changing the subject to the baby of the family. “What’s he up to these days?”
Dan laughed. “Drew never stays in one place for long. He’s busy setting up Aspen Outfitters locations all around North America. But he gets home a lot to visit. Dad’s sixtieth is coming up in a few months. I know he’s planning to be home for that.” Dan laughed. “Somehow he always manages to drag me out in the wilderness with him for a few days. He tells me if I don’t do that more often, I’ll have to have my phone surgically removed.”
“Sounds about right.” She took another bite of Danish, chewed, swallowed and tried not to feel self-conscious. “I will say, despite it being very touristy around here, unplugging and going for a walk in the mountains does a lot for stress levels.”
“I can see that. I’d forgotten how stunning it is. I’m hoping to do some skiing while I’m here. Get out and breathe the mountain air.”
Quiet settled around them. Did they have nothing more to say to each other? She self-consciously ran a hand over her hair, which was still precisely anchored in her topknot. Adele thought about filling the quiet with the action of finishing her breakfast, but she wasn’t hungry anymore. Her laptop screen had gone dark several minutes ago, so she tapped a key to bring it to life again.
“I’m holding you up from your work,” Dan said, pushing back his chair.
“No, not really.” She bit down on her lip. Hadn’t she just touched the keys to fill the awkward gap? Now, at the first moment he moved to leave, she didn’t want him to go. She was an idiot, plain and simple.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to be polite. I have a fitting in an hour, anyway.” He patted his flat belly. “Gotta make sure the tuxedo fits.”
He was going to be so dashing. She swallowed tightly, thinking about it. Seeing Dan wasn’t just seeing an ex; it was coming face-to-face with the life she might have had if her illness hadn’t stolen it all away. And yet seeing Dan’s face as he talked about having nieces and nephews reassured her it had been the right thing. Dan deserved babies, and lots of them. He would have been supportive and said it didn’t matter, but she knew it did. That it would eat away at him until their relationship paid the price.
And she hadn’t been honest about why she was leaving because she’d been too afraid he’d be able to convince her to stay.
“If you have any questions, I’ll be around the hotel all day.” Adele smiled, though her heart wasn’t quite in it. “Holly and Pete have some last-minute changes, and we’re setting up for the rehearsal in the hall this afternoon.”
He got up, took his wallet out of his back pocket and put a twenty down on the table. “I’m glad we talked, Delly,” he said quietly. “This doesn’t have to be weird. And after tomorrow, we won’t see each other, anyway.”
“Sure,” she agreed, but a weight settled around her heart. It might not be weird for him, but it certainly was for her. She’d spent eight years convincing herself she’d done the right thing. Sometimes she questioned whether she should have kept the truth from him. But then she reminded herself that she’d set him free to be happy. She’d wanted that for Dan. Wanted him to have the family he’d always talked about.
But
