“There’s no one.” She turned her head away and swallowed hard, as if she were in emotional pain. The shadows hid her, but he could feel her sadness.
The captain tapped him on the shoulder. Time to go. He hated that he couldn’t say goodbye; she didn’t want to hear it. He hated what his presence was doing to her. Some memories were best left buried. He knew how that was.
His boots hit the ground, and he got clear. Dirt rose up in clouds as the bird took off, hovering off the ground for a moment as if battling gravity, then turning tail and lifting purposefully into the starless black.
“Was that September Stevens, Tim’s former fiancée?” Reno asked as they watched the taillights grow distant.
“Yep.” That was all he could say. Something sat in his throat, refusing to let him say more. He, Tim and Pierce had all been buddies since they were kids. They’d been neighbors back home in Wyoming, running wild in the foothills of the Rockies. They’d called themselves the dynamic trio back then, naive kids in a different world. War had changed that. War changed a lot of things.
He thought of September and her broken heart. There was some serious pain there. He felt for her, but it was why he kept clear of relationships. His life as a Ranger wasn’t conducive to long-term commitment. It was his experience that love didn’t necessarily grow fonder half a world apart. What he did was dangerous. Tim hadn’t been the only soldier buried over the recent conflicts defending this country’s freedom. He couldn’t justify putting a woman through that, waiting and wondering, fearing with every phone call or knock on the door that he was dead. Seeing September was all the proof he ever needed of that.
He couldn’t say why, but she stayed on his mind, a sad and beautiful image he could not forget.
Chapter Two
“How are you feeling today?” The hospital volunteer flashed a sunny smile as she set the bouquet of flowers onto September’s bedside table.
“Better.” In some ways, but not in others. She smoothed the wrinkles out of her hospital gown. For one thing, this had to go. She felt vulnerable in it. She carefully adjusted her casted forearm on the pillow. “I get to go home.”
“Great news.” The volunteer stepped back to admire the small collection of flowers. “I’m going to come by the riding stable you work for. I’ve always wanted to take lessons. I don’t suppose you teach beginners. I don’t even have a horse.”
“You can rent one along with your lesson. It’s done all the time.” September reached for the pen and notepad on the bedside table, ignored the twinge of pain in her skull and the bite beneath her cast. She scribbled down the stable’s phone number. “When you call, ask for me. I’ll give your first lesson free, although you will have to spring for the horse rental.”
“That would be fantastic. Thank you.” The volunteer brightened and looked younger than September had first guessed. Maybe in her early thirties or late twenties. It reminded her that everyone went through tough times. Everyone had a challenging road to walk. The volunteer padded to the door. “Oh, it looks like you have a visitor. A totally handsome one.”
That could only mean one man—Hawk. She didn’t know anyone else who could be described as totally handsome. She expected dread to build inside her like a river dam, but it didn’t.
“Hey there.” Hawk waited for the volunteer to clear the room before he leaned one brawny shoulder against the doorjamb. He clutched a small vase of gardenias in one capable hand. “Thought I would swing by and check on you. See how you’re doing.”
“Good, considering.” She hugged the bedcovers to her, aware that they were practically alone together. The nurses at the station a few doors down felt very far away.
“You look much better than the last time I saw you. Trust me.” A hint of a grin tugged at the spare corners of his mouth, but his gaze remained serious and kind. “I hear they’re springing you today.”
“Yes, they’re releasing me on my own recognizance.” She wanted to keep things light and on the surface, to hide the fact that she was numb inside, like winter’s frozen ground. It was better that way. This was how she had survived Tim’s burial and moved on. Today was simply another day, like so many had been, one she needed to get through one step at a time, one breath, one moment. Seeing Hawk didn’t change a thing.
“I meant to come by sooner, but you know how it is. Duty calls.” He strode into the room like some kind of action hero, confident and athletically powerful and mild mannered all at once. “I didn’t know if you wanted to see me again, but I had to look at you and know for myself that you are going to be all right.”
It hurt to look at him. Not only because of Tim—but also because of the hardship etched on Hawk’s face. She studied him as he set the vase on the night table with the several other arrangements, the sweet gardenia scent mixing pleasantly with the roses and carnation bouquets. Her skin prickled at his nearness like a warning buzzer going off to announce that he was too near. She could smell the sunshine on his T-shirt and the faint scent of motor oil on his faded denims.
This close, she could see the lines etched at the corners of his eyes, ones that hadn’t been there the last time she’d seen him. She wrapped her arm around her middle like a shield. He’d had his losses, his trials and his sorrows. She was not looking at the same man she’d once known as Hawk, in those long-ago-seeming days before Tim’s death. War and loss had changed him, too.
“You have family coming for you?” The sunlight from the window spilled over him, gilding him. With his muscled frame straight and strong, he resembled the noble warrior he was.
And exactly why was she noticing that? She had no interest in love anymore. She would never fall for another soldier. It was that simple. She stared hard at a fraying thread in the hem of the blanket covering her instead of meeting his gaze. “My sister is running late. She’s taking me home.”
“You still have an apartment near the post?”
“No.” She was surprised he had remembered her little one-bedroom place in a pretty gray building along a greenbelt. He’d attended Tim’s birthday party, the only one Tim had been home for through their entire relationship. “I’ve got a town house now, not far from where I work.”
He didn’t say the obvious, that both she and Tim had been saving up to buy a house after they were married. She had invested her savings in a place of her own instead.
“Look, September. I never thought we’d meet again.” He squared those impressive shoulders of his. “I thought about looking you up and seeing how you were. But I was afraid it would be too painful for you. I can see it is.”
“It’s okay.” She wasn’t the only one hurting. She might not have known him well—he’d been one of Tim’s best friends, not hers—but she could see he had walked a hard road, too. “I’ve thought about finding you or Tim’s brother, on and off. I wanted to, but I could never make myself do it.”
“You wanted to see me?”
She nodded. He and Tim had been together at those last moments. Hawk held the answers to the questions that had kept her wondering. But would asking them bring up as much sadness for him as it did for her? “You missed his funeral.”
“Not my idea, but I made it for the wake. I didn’t
