I just... I can’t.” She stuttered, shaking her head slowly, sidestepping away from the tree, then rushing past him.
She couldn’t be any clearer than that.
Disappointment delivered a kick to the gut even though he hadn’t expected anything different.
He gave her enough time to make it inside before he released the tree branch and started back toward the main house. He only had an afternoon and dinnertime to get his head together before they spent the night alone together in the guesthouse.
One afternoon didn’t sound like nearly long enough when even seven months hadn’t helped him get over Johanna.
* * *
Johanna had busied herself caring for the other three dogs, taking them on a hike, feeding them, hiking again, and still restless energy whirled inside her well into suppertime.
Their evening was coming to an end with coffee on the covered back porch, a lazy ceiling fan rustling the air. Soon, she wouldn’t be able to hide behind the Donavan family any longer. She would be spending the night alone with Stone.
Of course she could go to a hotel. Nothing in Mariah’s agreement said she had to sleep under the same roof as Stone. She just had to help him place the dogs. Except she didn’t want to cause an embarrassing scene for him in front of the Donavans....
Oh, hell, who was she kidding? She wanted to finish their afternoon conversation and learn more about why he was pursuing her now. He’d said his grandmother’s terminal illness had flipped his world. If he was reevaluating, could he change his mind on things that had kept them apart before?
If so, could she trust her heart to him a second time?
Walking away the first time had nearly destroyed her with grief and loss. They were barely a day into this trip and her willpower was fading fast. She finished the last of her iced decaf coffee.
Stone set aside his empty mug and leaned toward Johanna. “We should say our good-nights. Do you have the gift from my grandmother?”
“Oh, right.” She jolted and reached into her woven satchel. “We have a present for your son, to thank you both for having us here and for giving Gem a good home.”
She pulled out a Diamonds in the Rough gift sack and passed it to Hillary. The bag glistened with the pattern of diamonds and spurs, the company’s bold, black logo scrolled at an angle.
“How thoughtful,” Troy said. “You didn’t have to do this, but thanks. Hillary, how about you do the honors.”
“I do love surprises.” She passed over the snoozing infant to Stone.
A momentary panic flashed in his eyes, quickly masked before he cradled the baby carefully in his arms. His broad hands cupped the tiny bottom and supported the head. His sun-bronzed skin contrasted with the newborn alabaster of the baby.
Johanna’s heart melted. How could it not? Her fondest dream in her heart of hearts was playing out in front of her. Stone rocked the baby in his arms as if by instinct. A lump lodged in her throat as big as the welling emotion filling her heart.
She vaguely registered the sound of rustling paper as Hillary unwrapped the gift they’d brought. Stone’s gaze flew to Johanna’s and held. The rawness in his eyes tore at her. She saw...pain. She saw a hurt so deep she ached to reach out and wrap her arms around him.
Clearing his throat, Stone pivoted away and passed the baby back to Troy. Johanna shook off the daze and looked at Hillary again.
The baby’s mother pulled out a box, untied the fat orange ribbon and pulled out... “A tiny rodeo buckle! How adorable.”
Hillary held up the tot-sized leather belt with a rodeo buckle, the leather crafted and studded with one of Amie’s originals. It was a one-of-a-kind design with a cartoon horse and baby cowboy engraved on the pewter oval.
Stone picked up the bag and tucked the box inside. “He’ll have to grow a bit for it to fit.”
“Thank you,” Hillary said, tracing the design with her finger. “This is fabulous. We’ll be sure to take a photo of him wearing it and playing with Gem.”
Troy held the baby in one arm like a seasoned dad, clapping Stone on the shoulder with his other hand. “Thank you again for thinking of us for Gem. He’s a great dog. And you’re welcome to visit him anytime.”
Stone nodded tightly. “Thank you for giving her a good home and easing my grandmother’s mind.”
Johanna’s heart ached all over again for Stone. No wonder he was having a tougher time hiding his feelings. If they’d still been a couple, she could have comforted him, even if all he would let her do was hold his hand.
She couldn’t help but be reminded of when he was about twenty-one or twenty-two and his favorite horse had gone lame. Even with the best vets money could bring, nothing could be done to save Jet. She’d found Stone grieving in the stable with his horse afterward. She’d just been a gangly teenager and hugging him would have been out of the question regardless. So she’d just sat beside him quietly, being there. He hadn’t asked her to leave, and she liked to think her presence had made things somewhat easier for him.
God knew, Stone would need someone now as he dealt with his grandmother’s illness, and he’d always made a point of being stoic, as if the problems rolled right off him. Mariah had been the most important person in his life, the only parental figure he’d had after his grandfather had passed away while Stone was still young.
Hillary smiled gently, tucking the belt back into the bag. “It’s our pleasure to have Gem as a part of our family. He will be T.J.’s best buddy and a treasured friend.” She patted Stone on the arm, seeming to understand that was as much tenderness as the man would accept right now. “The guest cabin is fully stocked with food and drinks, but please let us know if you need anything at all. Otherwise we’ll see you after breakfast to say goodbye before you leave.”
In the morning?
Johanna’s heart leaped to her throat. Of course it was time to call an end to the evening and go to the guesthouse. Resisting Stone had been difficult enough when occasionally crossing paths at the ranch. But tonight, with the memory of him cradling that tiny infant in his powerful arms?
She didn’t know how she would hold strong once the doors closed behind them.
Johanna’s stomach tightened with each step closer to the guesthouse. A barn perched on a hill behind the Donavan’s main home had been converted into a guesthouse with soaring ceilings. One side had been removed and replaced with glass windows.
Tonight, she and Stone would sleep under the same roof together for the first time in seven months. They walked side-by-side silently, not touching. But the wind twined around them as if binding them with whispering bands of air carrying his scent mingling with hers.
The desire that still simmered between them was out in the open now. Discussed. Acknowledged. She’d told him no, and he’d respected that. But to be honest with herself, she wasn’t so certain she could hold
