Holly said. “You know, people get in shopping ruts.”
Out of the corner of her vision, Jessica saw Kade roll his eyes at the near religious fervor Holly apparently had for the shopping experience.
Undaunted, Holly went on. “They pick variations of the same thing for themselves over and over. Sometimes a fresh eye can be amazing. And then, you can model what I pick out for you for your extremely handsome boyfriend.”
“Husband,” Kade said. “Though I like the handsome part.”
“Oh, sorry. No rings,” Holly said. She squinted at him. “Though you look as though you’ve had one on recently.”
Jessica’s gaze flew to Kade’s ring finger. Sure enough, a white band of skin marked where his wedding ring had been. The band had been there recently, obviously, since such marks faded rather quickly. What did it mean that he had worn his ring so recently?
Stay in the moment, she ordered herself sternly. She had one mission today. To have fun. To let go. To be free. And if she ended up, with Holly’s help, looking a little bit better than she looked right now, she’d go with that, too.
For once, Jessica felt no desire at all to hide behind their upcoming divorce.
She followed Holly obediently to the back of the store. There was a classy sitting area there for Kade, complete with a comfy deep upholstered chair and a huge flat-screen TV. Holly handed him the remote, and then shooed Jessica into an opulent change room.
Minutes later, she was back. “I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but I brought you this.” She held up a bra. “Front closing.”
And sexy as all get out. Jessica took the bra with her good hand and suddenly ached to put it on. To give herself permission to be feminine and beautiful.
She had not felt like a beautiful woman since her husband had left her. Despite career success, somehow she carried loneliness and defeat within her.
A thought, unwelcome, came out of nowhere.
Had she been planning on using a child to combat her pervasive feeling of inadequacy? She shook off the shadow that passed over her. Today was just about fun. She had given herself over to introspection quite enough in the past year.
“You are a lifesaver,” Jessica told Holly, and then surrendered to the process. She allowed herself to be spoiled completely. Holly did have an exceptional eye for fashion, and along with the bra, she had soon provided Jessica with a stack of clothing topped by a filmy jade silk top.
None of it was anything Jessica would have chosen for herself. She had become the master of understated. Almost all her clothes were in neutrals, grays and taupes, as if, she realized with a start, she was trying to make herself invisible.
Jessica fingered the silk and felt a pure and simple longing. To be pretty.
It occurred to her she had not cared about being pretty since long before Kade had left her. Since she had lost the second baby.
“This will be amazing with your eyes. And look—Velcro fasteners!”
“You found a top with a Velcro closure? Is this really silk? Where’s the price tag?”
“Your Prince Charming out there told me to take the price tags off.”
“Humph,” she said, but she didn’t feel nearly as annoyed as she should have. She didn’t have to buy it, she reminded herself. She just had to have fun with it.
Soon, the ensemble was completed with an easy-to-pull-on skirt with a flirty hemline and a delicate pair of sandals that Jessica could just slip her feet into.
“You look awesome,” Holly said. “Go show him.”
Jessica stared at herself in the mirror. “Um, I think I look a bit too young.” Plus, the blouse was extremely sheer, which explained Holly bringing a sexy bra with it.
“Nonsense.”
“This looks like something a teenager would wear. Don’t you think the skirt is a little, um, short? Not to mention the blouse is a little, er, see-through.”
“When you have legs like that? Show them off, girlfriend. Same with your other assets. Now go show him! He’ll let you know how right that look is for you.”
Feeling strangely shy about sharing this oddly intimate moment with Kade, the same as she had felt this morning sharing space with him, Jessica exited the change room. Kade had found a football game on TV and didn’t even look impatient. He looked content.
And then he noticed her. He flipped off the sound. His eyes darkened. She suddenly didn’t care how short the skirt was or if the blouse was see-through. She did a saucy little spin.
“Wow,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You look incredible. Two thumbs-up to that one.”
Jessica didn’t just feel beautiful for the first time in a long time. She felt sexy. It felt unbelievably good to feel sexy with no agenda, no calendar lurking in the back of her mind, no temperature to take. It felt, well, fun. And after that, she just gave herself over to the experience completely.
It was fun, having Holly help her in and out of outfits, and then modeling them for Kade, who was a great audience. He raised his eyebrows, and did low wolf whistles and louder ones. He made her feel as if she was not only sexy and beautiful, but as if she was the only woman in the world he felt that way about.
But even so, Jessica had to draw the line somewhere, and she drew it at an evening dress Holly hauled in.
“I have absolutely nowhere to wear such a thing,” she said. Still, she touched it wistfully. Like everything in Chrysalis, the cut and the fabric were mouthwatering. “I won’t be able to get it on over my arm.”
“Sure you will,” Holly said. “It’s back fastening, so I’ll just drop it over your head, like this, and poof. Ooh, butterfly.”
It took a bit more work for them to get her arm out the sleeve, but then she was standing there looking at herself, stunned.
Her hair was flyaway from all the in-and-out of trying on clothes, but somehow that added to the sense of electricity in the air. The dress, the color of licking flame, fit her like a glove, then flared out at the bottom in a mermaid hemline.
“Here.” Holly crouched at her feet. “Let me slip these on you.”
As if in a dream, Jessica lifted one foot and then the other. She stared at herself in the mirror. The heels had added three inches to her height. The cast and sling on her arm might as well have disappeared, the outfit was so attention grabbing, especially with a very deep, plunging neckline.
Holly stood back and looked at her with satisfaction. “This is exactly what I envisioned from the moment you walked through the door. Go show him.”
Should she? What was the point? It didn’t feel fun anymore. It felt strangely intense, almost like the moment she had walked toward him down that long aisle in her wedding dress.
She was going to protest, but when Holly held open the door for her, Jessica sucked in her breath and walked out. Holly slid away.
