sick of sharing him with his siblings and nephew? His career was demanding enough. Having to spread himself so thinly didn’t make for ideal relationship-building conditions. He wasn’t emotionally available. He didn’t want to be.
He didn’t want to need someone so much he couldn’t function without them. He had seen it first-hand. His mother had been absolutely devastated by the desertion of his father. Jake had lain awake at night listening to her sob her heart out in the bedroom next door. It had taken her years to recover, and even then there had been a part of her that had never fully returned. She had gone from a vibrant and fully engaged mother to a person who trudged through life with resolution rather than joy.
Jake brought his gaze to Kitty’s defiant one. ‘That will be all, Dr Cargill,’ he said. ‘For now.’
‘SO HOW’S it going with your gorgeous boss?’ Julie asked when she phoned Kitty a couple of days later.
‘Next question.’
Julie laughed. ‘That bad, huh?’
Kitty paced the kitchen of her town house. ‘He’s the most maddening man I’ve ever met,’ she said. ‘I thought I was getting to know him a little bit. He’s really nice when he’s not playing the big bad boss. He was really supportive when we had this crazy emergency outside the hospital the other day. And he even told me about his family circumstances over dinner, and—’
‘Dinner?’ Julie said. ‘Hey, back up a bit. You didn’t tell me you had dinner with him. When was that?’
‘It wasn’t a date or anything,’ Kitty said. ‘We ran into each other and it sort of…happened.’
‘What sort of happened?’
Kitty closed her mind to that kiss. ‘Nothing happened,’ she said. ‘We just had a meal at his friend’s restaurant.’
‘And then?’
‘And then he walked me home.’
‘Did he kiss you?’ Julie asked.
‘What makes you think he would’ve kissed me?’ Kitty asked.
‘He’s a man.’
‘I’d rather not talk about it.’
‘So he did kiss you,’ Julie said. ‘How was it?’
‘I told you I’m not going to talk about it.’
‘I bet it was completely different from Charles.’
‘I’m not listening,’ she said in a singsong tone.
‘Are you going to see him again?’ Julie asked.
‘I can hardly avoid it when he works at the same hospital, can I?’
‘I mean see him as in see him.’
Kitty thought of how distant and formal Jake had been the other night at the hospital. It had been a stark turnaround from the intimate exchange they had shared. It was as if he had regretted talking to her about his family circumstances and his brother’s situation in particular. He had lowered his guard just long enough for her to glimpse some of his pain and frustration, but he had snapped the drawbridge back up as soon as he could, locking her out. He was prepared to offer her a no-strings relationship but not access to the innermost yearnings of his heart.
‘Jake Chandler isn’t really interested in me other than as a one-off affair,’ she said. ‘I haven’t been around the block enough times for him. He likes his women casual and carefree.’
‘You mark my words,’ Julie said. ‘It’s the cynical ones who always fall for sweet, homespun girls like you. But anyway, why shouldn’t you have a little fling with him while you’re here? Isn’t it time you had a bit of fun? You spent years and years with the same guy, for God’s sake. For years you’ve acted like an old married lady. But you’re single now. You can do what you want with whoever you want. This is your chance to let your hair down a bit. Live a little. Put yourself out there. You’re only twenty-six. There’ll be plenty of time for settling down with Mr Right later on. What have you got to lose?’
‘I don’t want to get hurt,’ Kitty said.
‘You take life way too seriously, Kitty-Kat,’ Julie said. ‘You always have. You’re allowed to have sex without being in love with someone, you know. And you don’t need a ring on your finger, either.’
Kitty looked at the promise ring that was too tight on her hand. Was it time to put the past aside and do as her cousin said?
* * *
Kitty was on her way to her first practice session with the combined hospitals doctors’ orchestra she had been invited to join when her car refused to start. The engine coughed and spluttered and then died. She turned the key again, but this time there was only a clicking sound—and a faint one at that.
‘I don’t believe this,’ she muttered. ‘Why are you doing this to me now?’
A shadow blocked out the driver’s side window. ‘Need any help?’ Jake asked.
She clenched her hands on the steering wheel and stared straight ahead. ‘If you’re going to say “I told you so”, then please don’t.’
‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’
She blew out a breath and threw him a frustrated glance. ‘I can’t get my car to start.’
‘Want me to have a look?’
‘Be my guest,’ she said, cranking open the driver’s door. She squeezed out past him, her body tingling where it brushed against his in the confined space between her car and the wall.
He sat in the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition while his foot gave the throttle a couple of pumps. ‘Sounds like a blockage in the fuel line.’ He leaned down and popped the bonnet lever. ‘I’ll have a quick look under the hood.’
Kitty sucked in her tummy as he moved past her. He looked so vital and male dressed in a black T-shirt and chinos. Every muscle looked as if it had been carved to his torso by a master sculptor. He smelt like summer—a mixture of surf and sweat, sunscreen and aftershave. She wanted to run her hands down the muscular slope of his back and shoulders, to press her mouth to his and feel him shudder with need.
Maybe her cousin was right. What would be so wrong about indulging her senses for once? What harm would there be in a relationship with him, even if it was on his terms? Wasn’t it time she lived a little? It wasn’t as if she had to be as progressive as her parents. Even a short-term relationship could be exclusive. She wouldn’t settle for anything less. It was just so tempting to explore the chemistry she shared with Jake. What if she never felt this level of excitement again? She would regret it for the rest of her life. She would spend the rest of her days wondering what she’d missed out on. She would have no memories of his possession. No images in her head of their bodies entwined in passion. Her body would never know
