focus. “And a lot more rewarding.”
“How’s Andrew?” She’d been equal parts thrilled and dismayed that Blake and Victoria had used part of her surname to christen their son.
“We call him Drew,” Blake explained. “He’s smart. Curious. Happy.”
“He sounds delightful.” Her longing to snuggle him—which had dimmed to an ache these past few months—flared up again. Bella crossed her arms against the sudden pain in her chest.
“What are your plans for the summer?”
The abruptness of his question caught her off guard. “My roommate and I are helping her cousin with her catering business.” It was something she’d done regularly since moving in with Deidre, except for those months when pregnancy had made it too uncomfortable for Bella to spend hours on her feet. “Why?”
“I need a nanny for Drew this summer. The girl who’s been taking care of him fell and broke her leg in three places a week ago and I need someone who can fill in for the next two months until she’s recovered.”
“Surely there are agencies that can help you out.”
“I’m disinclined to look for someone that way. It took me thirty candidates before I found Talia. We are leaving for the Hamptons on Saturday. I’d like you to join us.”
Besieged by conflicting emotions, Bella offered a neutral response. “It’s nice that you thought of me.”
Only it wasn’t nice. It was unbearable. Walking away from the child who’d grown beneath her heart had shredded the tender organ. She’d cherished him when he’d been a flutter of movement in her belly. How was she supposed to take care of him for two months and not fall madly in love with his happy smile, his delighted giggle, his sweet scent?
She’d thought being a surrogate would be easy for her. In junior high she’d decided being a mom wasn’t for her. She didn’t want to be like her mother and have her life revolve around her kids. She’d grown up taking care of her brothers and sisters. She wanted to be free of that sort of responsibility. Being pregnant with Drew had challenged all she thought she believed.
Bella shied away from emotions as dangerous to her soul as splintered glass was to her bare feet. “But I really don’t think I can.”
He narrowed his eyes at her refusal. “I’ll pay you more than you’d make as a waitress.”
“That’s generous.”
Blake believed that she’d only acted as Drew’s surrogate because of the money. That was only partially true. As much as she’d needed the money, she’d really wanted to help him and Victoria grow their family. All through her pregnancy, her intention had been to stay in touch. Blake encouraged her to maintain contact with his son, but Victoria had her own ideas.
She’d pleaded with Bella, asking her to stay out of Drew’s life so she and Blake could focus on being a family. It was Victoria’s right. And no matter how much it hurt her, Bella wouldn’t dream of interfering between husband and wife.
“Have you discussed this with Victoria?” His wife didn’t want Bella in the same city as Drew, much less the same house.
“She and I divorced two months ago.”
“Oh, Blake.” The news rocked her. What had happened to Victoria’s determination to make her marriage work? It didn’t make sense that she’d given up so easily.
“Turns out Vicky didn’t take to being a mother.” His unhappiness hit her like a January wind and Bella shivered. “She got a supporting role in an off-Broadway play and threw herself into acting.”
Regret flared. Victoria had cut Bella out of Drew’s life and then left him without a mother. “Did you have any idea she felt this way?”
“No. It came as a complete surprise.” Blake’s mouth tightened.
To Bella, as well.
Victoria had thrown herself into preparing the nursery and often quoted from parenting books. But it was Blake who’d accompanied Bella to every doctor’s appointment while his wife immersed herself in auditions for off-Broadway shows. Bella had been worried about his long hours at the office, even though he genuinely seemed excited to be a father. She’d obviously focused her anxiety on the wrong parent-to-be.
“I’m so sorry.”
Impulsively she touched his arm. The contact zinged from her fingers to her heart in a nanosecond, leaving her wobbly with reaction. She pulled back, but too late to save her composure from harm.
If he noticed her awkwardness, he gave no sign. “Now you understand why I need someone I trust to take care of Drew this summer,” he said. “I could use your help.”
Demands or bribes she could’ve easily refused. But turning down this request for help was like asking Superman to lift a truck-sized boulder of kryptonite. The superhero couldn’t do it. She was no stronger.
And she was handicapped by her memories of her previous visit to the Hamptons. Early-morning walks on the beach. Sipping tea on the wraparound porch. Blake had invited her to spend two weeks at his vacation property toward the end of her pregnancy. The downside had been loneliness and too much time to think, but on the weekends when Blake and Vicky came with friends and family, the enormous house had been filled with laughter and conversation.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t be better off keeping him in the city with you?”
“I’m planning on working most of the week from the beach house. I need someone to keep an eye on Drew during the day while I’m occupied. You can have your evenings free.”
“How can you be away from the office that much?” Remembering the long hours he’d put in the year before, she couldn’t imagine that Drew would get to spend much time with his father.
A ghost of a smile appeared at her shock. “I told you I’ve changed.”
A warm glow filled her as she gazed at him, acknowledging the truth in his eyes. This was the Blake who fascinated her. A man with strong convictions and simmering passions. Intelligent. Wry. Sexy.
Tormented by temptation, she shook her head. A whole summer at the beach? With the son she had no claim to? With the man she had no right to desire?
She was already too susceptible to Blake. What if Drew took up residence in her heart, as well? Forming a lasting attachment to the child she’d carried wasn’t part of her plan. After raising her seven brothers and sisters, she’d had enough of being a parent. Freedom was her watchword these days, but being unable to shake her anxiety about Drew’s welfare worried her.
“Thank you for the offer. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity, but I have to pass.”
A protest gathered on Blake’s lips, but before he could voice it, the limo’s door opened and an unhappy wail rode the fragrant spring wind blowing straight at them. Blake’s tension switched off as his focus shifted to his son.
“Sounds like Drew wants a chance to convince you.”
And before Bella could offer an objection, Blake crossed to his
