but for the kids’ sake—”
“We have to try.” He nodded, glad they agreed on this. If only he knew what to do about the pain wedged into his chest. Seeing her again made him aware of how he’d failed her. Being teenage parents with two sets of twins had been tough and the stress had torn them apart. He’d been to blame for that. He couldn’t deny it, and the guilt burdened him.
“They shouldn’t be proud. I’m not saving the world, just going where God leads.” His head reeled, more overwhelmed than he wanted to admit. “This latest mission didn’t turn out like I expected. For a while I worried I might not see the kids again.”
“Oh, Brian. That must have been agonizing. When I woke up and realized what I could have lost—”
“Exactly. Weddings. Grandchildren. Birthdays.” He smiled wistfully. “Speaking of which, I couldn’t believe it when I discovered that all of our kids are altar-bound.”
“I had a similar reaction to the news,” she confessed. “But deep down, I’m so thankful to God for both of our lives...and that we get to share in the happiest of our children’s lives.”
“I’m thankful you’re here, Isabella. But for the Lord’s grace, I might be having to confront our grieving children and I don’t think I could take seeing them hurt like that.”
“That was my fear, too.” Her hand found his—large and strong—and at the touch of his skin, her heart twisted. The pain of the past and the divorce stood between them, refusing to relent. She swallowed hard, wishing the past didn’t hurt so much. “What happened to you? Why couldn’t the kids find you?”
“The strep hit hard. One moment I was fine, the next I was so sick I couldn’t function....”
“Tell me everything,” Belle insisted.
“I recall leaving Blackstone in my beat-up SUV and heading toward a farming town along the border. Unfortunately, my car overheated when I was ten miles outside the migrant camp.”
“How awful! So you were stranded in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone?”
“It wasn’t as bad as it sounds. A local farm worker happened by in his truck and arranged to have my car towed for repairs. Since it was on his way, he offered to drop me off at the migrant camp while my vehicle was being worked on.” He sighed heavily. “Unfortunately, car troubles were the least of my worries. By the end of my first day at the migrant camp, I was sidelined by a cough and a high fever.”
Belle couldn’t hide her concern. “Oh, my...what happened next?”
“I knew I had to leave, because I could be highly contagious and might be doing more harm than good at the camp. So I got a lift back to the auto shop, picked up my SUV and decided to drive to a nearby medical clinic to get checked out.” A shadow crossed his face. “But a short time later I had to pull over because I was too weak to drive and a hazard to others. I sat on the side of the road praying for someone to come by...and the next thing I knew, I woke up in the ditch.”
“That must have been where they found your wallet.”
“I hadn’t realized I’d lost it. I’d passed out. It was night and I crawled my way through a field for miles toward a faint light. A house, as it turned out. The Cruz family took me in and cared for me.” He took a deep breath, then continued. “Mr. Cruz took my keys and fetched my car after finding a doctor. I was barely conscious and they didn’t have a phone, so I couldn’t call home. I was too ill to write a letter. Those people saved my life.”
“Bless them, and we’re all grateful.” Thankfulness filled her with such power it made her eyes burn. Thankfulness, for the kids’ sake. She tore her hand from his. “Thank the Lord you were able to come back to be with your children.”
She turned so he couldn’t see her face. She didn’t want him to guess how much this cost her. She wanted to be anywhere but with him. It hurt too much. She moved forward on the chair cushion, needing to get away.
“Let me help you, Isabella.” His chair scraped.
“No, I’m fine.” She pushed out of the chair, her left side sluggish. “I’ve got this.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.”
“It does.” She’d been on her own for decades. She couldn’t start leaning on him now. “The twins might be reunited, but that doesn’t change anything between us.”
“I didn’t expect it would.” His dark chocolate eyes gleamed with regret.
Regret she shared. Regret she felt all the way to her soul. The chasm of twenty-five years stood between them, a distance too great to bridge. Their love, once broken, couldn’t be repaired. It just couldn’t. “Seeing you again is harder than I predicted. It hurts.”
“Yes.” He covered his heart with the flat of his palm. “You would think all this time would have healed it.”
“Or maybe numbed it a little.”
“Exactly,” he agreed. “But it hurts the way it did when you asked for a divorce, while our children slept in the next room.”
“I remember.” The night their marriage ended and they’d given up hope. She gripped the walker for support. Dismissing the doctor’s orders not to be up on her own, she made her way shakily toward the window, hating the impairment that slowed her. Tamping down memories of one of the worst nights in her life wasn’t easy. “We need to come to an agreement, Brian.”
“What kind of agreement?”
“About you and me. How we deal with each other.”
He swallowed painfully. “Right. Do you have any suggestions?”
“We do the only possible thing. Let’s leave this in the past where it belongs and go on from here.”
“If that’s what you want.” Traces of pain hid in his voice. “We’ve both been hurt enough.”
“Yes.” She clunked her walker forward and stepped purposefully. The arguments, the sleepless nights, the stress of being teenage parents with two sets of twins haunted her. She’d been shattered the night she’d asked Brian to leave. No way would she let him see that, so her chin went up with stubborn determination to hide her vulnerabilities.
“Glad we agree,” he said gruffly.
“We have to get along for the children’s sake.”
“The big question is how.”
“I have no idea.” Her reflection in the dark window looked back at her. She saw a thin woman, hollow cheeked and fragile looking. Not the same vibrant Belle Colby who’d fallen off her horse. The coma and injury had ravaged her, but she was determined to regain her strength...and reclaim her life. She caught sight of Brian struggling to his feet and realized that she wasn’t the only one ailing here. “We are quite a pair, aren’t we?”
“We always have been.” He shuffled toward her, fighting to stay tall and strong, but she could read the strain on his face, the tension along his carved jaw, even in
