good?” she asked.
He grinned. “Meat and fire. And beer.” He reached for his glass. “Or wine.”
She studied him, taking in the broad shoulders and easy smile. She searched for some hint he was still dealing with his time in the military, that he’d been scarred by all he’d seen, but there was no indication at all. If he had ghosts, they were the kind only he saw.
“Did you like being a SEAL?” she asked.
“Yeah. I liked being on a team. I also liked that we never knew what was going to happen next.”
“Certainty and variety. Two key components to happiness.”
He raised his eyebrows.
She shrugged. “I have a marketing degree, but I also have a minor in psychology. People like a sense of security. It’s hard to have fun if you’re starving or homeless. But we also like variety. Positive change engages the brain.”
“Pretty and smart. Impressive.”
She told herself he was a natural-born flirt and if she believed anything he said, she was an idiot. But that didn’t stop the tingles.
“Why did you retire?” she asked.
“The last five years I was on a joint task force. Important work, but more stressful.”
“Dangerous?”
He grinned. “Danger is my middle name.”
She smiled. “I’m sure that’s not true, and I can easily get confirmation from one of your sisters.”
“Damn small town.” He sipped his wine. “The work was intense and I was moved around a lot. The team changed. After a while it started to get to me. Justice called about CDS and I said yes.”
“Were you worried about coming home?”
“I was worried about my mother.” He grimaced. “With good reason.”
Because it would be easier if he didn’t have family or didn’t get along with his. It was hard to tell a parent no when she was as loving and supportive as Denise.
“You should send her on a cruise around the world,” she suggested. “It worked for me.”
“If only she’d go.” His dark gaze settled on her face. “What about you? You’re back because you’re divorced?”
“Uh-huh. The paperwork is final, so I’m a free woman.”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine. Eric and I didn’t contest anything. We owned an apartment together. He bought me out, so I have that money to help start my business.”
“The one you’re starting when Paper Moon sells?”
“Right. So it’s all good.”
“No hard feelings?” he asked.
She’d told the almost-true version of the story so many times, the words came out automatically. “No. Eric’s a great guy, but we grew apart. We’re better as friends.”
He turned and checked the steaks, then flipped them again and closed the lid.
“It all sounds civilized,” he said. “Better than hating each other at the end.”
That would have required more energy than either of them had for the relationship, she thought sadly.
“I admire how you handled the situation,” Ford said.
Praise she didn’t deserve. She opened her mouth to say it was nothing, but what came out instead was “I thought everything was fine. I thought we had a great marriage. We were best friends with each other. We went to restaurants and gallery openings and estate sales on weekends. He supported my dreams and I supported his.”
Their sex life had been nonexistent, but as sex wasn’t important to her, she hadn’t minded. In a way it had been freeing to simply be herself with a man.
“I liked spending time with him,” she continued. “It was easy.” She paused. “But it wasn’t love.”
“Doesn’t sound like it,” Ford said quietly.
She looked at him, then away before putting her wine down on the outdoor table. She was holding the glass so tightly she was afraid she was going to break it.
“He fell in love with someone else,” she admitted, still remembering the shock when he’d told her. He’d sat her down, taken her hands in his and admitted he’d fallen in love.
“He was so excited. So happy. There was an energy I’d never seen before. I think that shocked me more than the infidelity. The enthusiasm. He’d never acted that way about me.”
“He was gay.”
She snapped her attention back to Ford and struggled to keep her mouth from falling open. “How did you know?”
“No straight guy goes to estate sales.”
She managed a strangled laugh. “Of course they do, but you’re right. He’d fallen in love with another man. He said it had never happened before, but I didn’t know if I could believe him.”
How could he not have known? How could he have lied to her for all those years? She’d been forced to grapple with the end of her marriage and worry about her health. If Eric had cheated with one person, who was to say there hadn’t been others?
All the tests had come back fine and she was able to relax about sexually transmitted diseases, but then she’d still had the end of her marriage to get through.
“I missed him,” she admitted. “We were friends and then he was gone. I had to figure out what to do next. Sonia and I had always talked about opening a store together and suddenly we were making real plans. I came here to help out my folks, earn some money and deal with everything.”
She drew in a breath. “I never saw it coming. That’s what I wrestle with. I had no clue. I mean we rarely had sex, but I figured everyone was different. He wasn’t that interested and I was good with that. Only, what if it was me?”
“If he’s gay, then it’s not you. It’s every woman.”
He watched her with friendly concern. If there was judgment, he was keeping it hidden, which she appreciated.
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said. “He wasn’t honest with you or himself. You had no part of that.”
“I guess.”
He lightly touched her under the chin, forcing her to raise her head and meet his steady gaze. “There’s no ‘I guess’ on this.”
“What if I turned him gay?”
Ford smiled. “You didn’t.”
