The gleam of laughter in his brother’s eyes brought back memories of a time when they’d actually been at ease in each other’s company. Before Clay dove into teenage rebellion and turned his back on everything Jesse believed in.
They’d come to an uneasy truce at Thanksgiving, when Clay asked if he could move back to the ranch. Jesse guessed the request had something to do with the lovesick look in his brother’s eye whenever his new fiancée, Nicki Appleton, came into view, but some things were hard to let go of. Clay had walked away from his birthright once before. What was to say he wouldn’t do it again?
As they passed the house, Jesse saw Maya step out onto the wide front porch. Regret sawed against his conscience again. Not because he’d spoken the truth but because it had hurt his sister.
“Give her some hope,” Clay had said.
How could Jesse explain that he and hope had parted company six months ago? If the road to hope led to disappointment, what was the point?
By the time they reached the gate, Maya was waiting for them.
Jesse had to force himself to look his sister in the eye. When he did, the light he saw shining there was a far cry from the worry that had darkened those eyes earlier.
“Michael just called.” Maya no longer referred to the minister of High Plains Community Church—her new husband’s cousin—by his formal title. “He and Heather Waters are organizing a candlelight prayer vigil for Tommy this evening. He said the people who can’t physically join in the search felt led to join together and pray. I know you and Clay are going to find him today, Jesse. I can feel it. God is going to show you the way.”
Jesse tried to hide his frustration. Maya’s faith had always been her North Star, pointing toward the truth. Not too long ago, his sister’s unwavering conviction would have challenged him. Strengthened him. But now the only thing her words stirred inside of Jesse were the ashes of what remained of his dreams.
“Keep believing, Maya.” Clay came up alongside her. He leaned over the saddle and pulled her into his arms, ruffling her hair as if she were Tommy’s age. “God knows exactly where Tommy is. And you’re right. We’re going to find him. By nine o’clock tonight you’ll be tucking him into bed.”
Jesse wanted to put a muzzle on his brother. How could Clay get Maya’s hopes up like that? Was he the only person in Kansas who was willing to face things the way they were, instead of the way he wanted them to be?
Maya aimed a grateful look at Clay and her smile came out in full force. For the first time in three days.
Jesse clicked his tongue and Saber agreeably stepped forward. The minute they passed through the gate, he nudged the gelding into a canter.
Unfortunately, Clay caught up to him before Jesse’s temper had time to cool. “Was that really necessary?”
Clay didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. “Yes.”
“You shouldn’t let her hope for the best.”
“And you shouldn’t let her imagine the worst,” Clay retorted.
Hadn’t they already had this conversation?
Jesse wondered if they’d ever see eye to eye on anything.
He tamped down his anger, bit his tongue and forced himself to focus on the reason he’d teamed up with Clay in the first place.
Tommy.
After the boy disappeared, the county sheriff had organized the search, dividing up Jesse’s property on a map and assigning each group of volunteers a certain section. Given Tommy’s age and size, they’d started close to the ranch house and gradually expanded the search to include the hills and grazing land.
The teams had met back at the ranch after a fruitless search earlier that morning, and when the sheriff instructed everyone to recheck the areas they’d already searched, a shiver of unease had skated through Jesse.
Staring down at the map, he had had an overwhelming urge to scrap the grid and go with his gut. And his gut told him not to waste time covering the same ground again.
He just hadn’t expected his brother to tag along.
They rode in silence until Jesse turned his horse down a worn cow path.
“Where are we going?”
“The river,” Jesse replied curtly.
To his surprise, his prodigal brother followed without a peep. Accustomed to Clay chafing every time Jesse took the lead, he found he couldn’t let that slide. “No argument? No ‘do you really think a kid Tommy’s age could have made it that far on his own’?”
“You did.”
Jesse twisted around in the saddle to stare at his brother.
“It’s a long shot,” Clay continued. “I mean, you went to the cave on horseback and Tommy is on foot.”
Jesse’s mouth dropped open. “Cave?”
“Oh, don’t look so surprised. It wasn’t much of a secret. I followed you there all the time.”
“You followed me.” Jesse couldn’t believe it. He’d been certain the secret hiding place he’d discovered had actually been a secret.
The ranch had been his playground as a child, and he’d explored every inch of it. And not always with his parents’ permission or his siblings’ knowledge, either. At least, he thought it had been without his siblings’ knowledge.
“Of course I did.” Clay’s shoulder lifted in a casual shrug. “But I knew you wanted to be alone, so I let you think you were.”
Wanted to be alone…
Bits and pieces of a conversation he’d had with Tommy suddenly trickled through Jesse’s memory like the beginning of a rock slide. And then it all came crashing back.
Thanksgiving Day, Tommy had complained that Layla, Maya’s three-year-old daughter, was always following him. In the name of male bonding, Jesse had sympathized and told Tommy that his irritation was perfectly normal. He confided that as a boy he also had times when he needed to get away from his younger sister and brother.
“Did you go to your room and lock the door?” Tommy had asked.
Jesse had laughed at the question. He and Clay had always shared a bedroom, so there’d been no privacy there.
That’s when he mentioned his favorite “thinking spot” had been a secret cave, its location marked by a strange U-shaped tree whose roots formed the ceiling of the hideaway.
Jesse’s mouth suddenly felt as dry as dust. What he’d failed to mention to Tommy was that the last time he’d checked the cave—about five years ago—it had collapsed.
“Jesse? What’s wrong?”
Instead of answering, Jesse urged Saber down the hill.
“I
