my pleasure.”
“It was more like a backbreaking couple of hours.”
“I enjoyed every minute,” he said, meeting her gaze with a steady look. “Really.”
Raylene shuddered under the intensity of that gaze. “Okay, then, what advice do you need for your garden?”
“Actually, you’ve already helped out. I’ll just try to re-create what we’ve done here.” He frowned. “Of course, we don’t have much shade.”
“Then you’re really going to have to keep an eye on the impatiens. They need a lot of water if they’re in bright sunlight. Otherwise they’ll wilt. And the sunflowers and hollyhocks will do best either against a fence or with stakes. Once they’re in full bloom, they’ll tend to fall over without some kind of support.”
“Got it,” he said. He gave her an appealing look. “Maybe one of these days, when you know me better and feel safe with me, you’ll come over and take a look and see if there’s any other advice I need to follow.”
She regarded him with frustration. “It doesn’t work that way, Carter. I’m plenty comfortable with Sarah and Annie, but I can’t leave here with them, either. Don’t take it personally.”
He backed down at once. “You’re right,” he said, looking flustered. “I’m sorry. I don’t totally understand how something like this works. Worse, I’m the kind of guy who automatically wants to make things better. I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“It’s okay,” she said, not wanting to ruin his lovely gesture. “But I do think you should go now. I need to fix the kids a snack and then get started on supper before Sarah and Travis get home. They were doing some kind of remote for the radio station today.”
“And they’re not back yet? Where’s the sitter?” His worried expression was far more telling than the simple question.
Under other circumstances, she would have found his attitude insulting, but she understood why he was concerned. It just grated that it had to be that way. “She came back a while ago. Want me to call her in here so you can see for yourself that the kids are in good hands?”
He winced at her sarcasm. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said with a resigned sigh. “I understand why you felt the need to ask. I really do.”
“Okay, then, I’ll see you soon. Maybe next time I drop by, I’ll bring the girls over. Would that be okay? I know Mandy would love to see the garden. She’s not going to believe I actually pulled off an actual flower garden. Up until this year I’ve stuck to vegetables.”
Raylene regarded him with a penetrating look. “Carter, what’s going on here? Are you still trying to make up for accusing me of being negligent with the kids? Or am I your pet charity case?”
He looked annoyed by the question. He took a step closer, but something in her expression must have warned him away, because he immediately backed off. Oddly, she felt suddenly bereft, as if she’d missed an important opportunity to feel alive again.
Holding her gaze, he said quietly, “If you don’t see what’s going on here, then I’ll have to figure out some way to make it plain.” For the second time he looked deep into her eyes, his gaze steady. “I like you. I enjoy your company. And one of these days, I have a hunch I’m going to kiss you, Raylene.” He grinned. “By then, you’re going to be ready for it.”
She trembled at the warning and the promise. She just doubted that such a day would ever come. Because no matter how attracted they might be to each other, a relationship simply wasn’t in the cards.
“I have a garden in my backyard,” Sarah announced with wonder that evening. She turned to stare at Raylene. “How’d that happen?”
“Carter Rollins,” Raylene said, her voice tight.
Sarah frowned. “Okay, let me see if I can figure this out. Carter Rollins made what seems to me to be an incredibly sweet gesture, and somehow that’s annoyed you.”
“It’s not the gesture that annoyed me,” Raylene insisted. “It’s what he wants in return.”
“Which is?”
“Me,” Raylene said, still not able to get over her shock that a man as sexy and appealing as Carter would want someone with her emotional baggage. “He obviously has some knight-in-shining-armor complex or something.”
“He’s a cop. Don’t they all want to save the world?”
“Well, I don’t want to be his project.”
“But you do want him,” Sarah guessed. “I can see it in your eyes. The guy turns you on.”
Sarah was the second person to suggest such a thing. Even Walter had figured it out, and he hadn’t even had to see her face to do it. Obviously there was no point in faking a denial. “Well, if you weren’t madly in love with Travis, Carter would probably turn you on, too. He’d turn on any woman with a functioning libido.”
“But your libido has been in hibernation,” Sarah said, fighting a grin. “Is that what you find so annoying? You’re suddenly faced with the fact that you’re still alive?”
Raylene scowled at her, but Sarah merely waited her out. “Okay, yes,” she said finally. “I don’t want to feel anything for him or anyone else because there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. No man is ever going to want to be tied to a woman who can’t leave the house.”
“If I recall, most bedrooms are inside houses,” Sarah teased.
“You know what I mean,” Raylene said. “My situation isn’t normal. It may never be normal.”
“Didn’t you tell me after your second appointment with Dr. McDaniels yesterday that she’s optimistic?”
“Of course she’s optimistic. Do you think she’s going to come in here, throw up her hands and tell me I’m beyond hope? Shrinks don’t like to admit defeat.”
“Or maybe she really believes you’re going to get better,” Sarah countered. Her gaze narrowed. “Or did I miss something? Did something happen on Friday to leave you sounding so discouraged? Now that I think about it, you’ve been in this weird mood ever since that session.”
“I’m just facing reality,” Raylene said.
“Meaning?”
“The medication didn’t do a thing to help. I felt so good, too. I was calm and relaxed. Dr. McDaniels had this really soothing tone that helped me. I was so ready to walk out of the house. I just knew I could do it.” She sighed. “And then, the second I tried to step outside, I nearly came unglued. It was bizarre. I had absolutely no control over it. Talk about a reality check.”
“Gee, and you’d been on the medication and in treatment for how long? Two whole days? I’m shocked,” Sarah said with exaggerated disbelief.
“It’s not funny,” Raylene said. “There should have been some sign of change.”
“Was
