you already love him, Holly thought, her heart pinching at the trouble that might lie ahead for Luc. And yet, she had only to think of the joy he’d experience as a father, joy she’d missed out on, joy she’d denied her dad.
“Henry reminds me of you sometimes,” she said, not realizing she’d voiced her thoughts until Luc’s eyebrows arched.
“Me? How?”
“His purpose, the way he won’t give in, his certainty about what he wants from life. And his eyes. Henry’s eyes are exactly like yours. Are you sure you weren’t married and had a child you didn’t tell anyone about?” Holly teased.
Luc’s face tightened. “Never married,” he said firmly. “Never will. Some people, like you for instance, should be married. Some, especially if they’re like me, shouldn’t.”
“Why not?” Surprised by the comment, Holly rode closer and tapped him on the arm. “Luc?”
He remained silent for so long she thought he wouldn’t answer. She’d thought Luc simple and carefree until now. Her questions about him multiplied.
“I always intended to get married.” He pulled his horse up when they came to the stream that divided their properties and dismounted. “That had been my dream since I was a kid, to someday have a wife and a family. A home. I thought with them I’d be able to make up for the family that I’d lost when my parents died in the car accident.”
“And now you can’t?” Holly’s heart ached for the little boy he’d been and the grief he’d had to go through after losing the only family he’d ever known.
“I think maybe with Henry I can have that dream,” Luc murmured thoughtfully.
Holly appreciated the way Luc held her horse’s harness so she could dismount, even though she’d been riding since she was five. There was something nice about having Luc do those polite things that made her feel cherished, special.
She sat down on a rock by the creek bed and waited while Luc fastened both horses to a tall poplar tree. He pulled two cans of soda from his saddlebags and a sack of nuts.
“I thought it’d be nice to take a break here,” he said after handing her a soda. He folded his long lean length next to her then set his Stetson on a rock. His short dark curly hair glistened in the sun.
Luc, Holly suddenly realized, was a very handsome man.
“I love this spot. It’s so peaceful.” His voice rumbled quietly through the little glade. “It makes me think of God.”
Holly sipped her drink and waited for him to continue. She, too, loved this spot and often came here to pray for forgiveness.
“This year I let go of the marriage part of my dreams,” Luc told her, his face inexpressibly sad.
“Because?” Holly could hardly contain her curiosity.
“Because it wasn’t realistic.” A self-mocking smile stretched his mouth. “I thought love and marriage meant forever.”
“And they don’t?” Holly wanted to hug him when he shook his head. His face reflected his disenchantment.
“A month ago the woman I’d just proposed to told me she didn’t love me enough to leave Calgary and move out here—to the back of beyond I believe she called it.” Luc said it coolly, without emotion, but Holly saw the sting of rejection in his eyes.
“Oh, Luc. I’m so sorry.” Holly frowned. “You never told us you were engaged.”
“You and your dad had enough to deal with. Your canceled wedding and his illness took up every spare moment.” His gaze rested on her, brimming with compassion. “My problems didn’t matter.”
“Of course they did. If you’d told us, we would have celebrated your happiness, even thrown a party.” Holly pinched her lips. Luc grinned.
“Yeah, probably not a good idea,” he said. “Too much to explain when we split up.”
Holly couldn’t suppress an oddly disquieting sensation at the knowledge that Luc had been contemplating marriage. She looked at him now with new eyes. Luc as a husband?
“Surely one breakup is no reason to give up on love and marriage,” she said.
“It wasn’t just one woman,” he admitted in a low voice. “But this one hurt the most. Being rejected like that takes the starch out of you. It takes a while to get your feet back under you.”
“Tell me about it,” she muttered drily.
She wondered why she hadn’t known he was in love. Then again, why wouldn’t he be? Luc was very handsome, kind and generous, with faultless manners. Any woman would be fortunate to be loved by him. “I’ve been having second thoughts about marriage for a while,” he volunteered.
“Why?” Holly hoped he wouldn’t tell her to mind her own business.
“Several years ago I stood up at the weddings of several best buddies, guys with hearts of gold who’d gladly give you the shirt off their backs.” Luc fiddled with his soda can. “I’d never seen them as committed as when they married their wives. They were determined to make it work, ready to put their all into it. Later they all had kids and seemed so happy. I envied them.”
Holly said nothing, giving Luc time to gather his thoughts.
“I didn’t know those marriages weren’t even close to perfect. Now, one by one, each is ending in divorce.” Luc swallowed. “The morning we found Henry I’d just come from my friend Pete’s. He’s the latest casualty.” His face was troubled.
“Talk to me, Luc.” Holly heard a world of pain in his stark words. He needed a friend and for once she wanted to be the one to help him.
“When I saw him, Pete was devastated, sitting in his truck, a shell of himself. He’s lost his wife, his kids, his home. The love I envied five years ago is gone.” He shook his head. “It was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m so sorry.” The depth of his dejection touched her. “But that doesn’t mean your relationships will fail. You just haven’t found the right woman yet.”
“I don’t think love has to do with finding the right person, Holly. I’m not even sure there is a right person for me to find.” Luc looked at her, his eyes dark. “Love is something you give, freely, unreservedly. How do you put your world together when the person you loved no longer wants you?”
“I wish I had the answer.” Holly prayed desperately for words to soothe his stark hurt but couldn’t find them. How could she help her friend?
“I’m no expert.” His forehead pleated in a frown. “By everything I saw, those marriages should have worked. But my friends lost love and their dreams.”
Holly felt stunned by Luc’s desolation. She wanted him to expel the rejection from his heart so it couldn’t hurt him anymore. As if! In five months she hadn’t expelled Ron’s accusations. Not yet. Not completely. “Go on, Luc.”
“Sarah
