Three
Katie blinked awake, turning her head to look at the clock on her nightstand. 3:30 a.m. She woke up every morning at the same time, even on her day off. Her internal clock was so used to the extreme hours of a baker, they had become natural to her.
But today something was different. She wasn’t alone in bed, she thought, shifting toward where Noah slept beside her. Except he wasn’t there. The empty pillow was cool to the touch. It had been only a couple of hours since he’d made love to her a second time, then tucked her into his chest, where she’d fallen asleep.
She sat up and thumped her hand against her forehead. That was exactly the kind of thinking that would get her into trouble. Noah hadn’t made love to her. They’d had sex. An important distinction and one she needed to remember. She knew how he operated, had heard enough gossip around town and witnessed a few tearful outbursts by women he’d loved then left behind.
Still, she hadn’t thought he would be quite so insensitive when it came to her. Love ’em and leave ’em was one thing, but they were supposed to be friends. She climbed out of bed, pulling on a robe as she padded across the hardwood floor. Her limbs felt heavy and a little sore. She found herself holding her breath as she made her way through the dark, quiet house. Maybe Noah hadn’t been able to sleep and had come out to the kitchen. Maybe he hadn’t rushed from her bed the moment he could make an easy escape.
The rest of her house was as empty as her bedroom. He’d put the coffee table back and straightened the cushions on the couch. Without the aches from her body and the lingering scent of him on her, Katie wouldn’t quite have believed this night had happened. She’d imagined being in his arms so many times, but nothing had prepared her for the real thing or the pit of disappointment lodged deep in her gut at how the morning after dawned.
She glanced at the glowing display on the microwave clock and turned back for her bedroom. There was no time for prolonged sadness or a free fall into self-pity. It was Friday morning and she had the ingredients for her cherry streusel coffee cake waiting at the bakery.
She had a life to live, and if Noah didn’t want to be a part of it, she had to believe it was his loss. She only wished that knowledge could make her heart hurt a little less.
* * *
When Noah climbed out of his Jeep four days later, he was hot, sore and needed a shower.
It was a perfect early-summer day in Colorado, clear blue skies and a soft breeze. The weather had been great on the trail, too, and normally Noah would have relished the time in the forest. As he’d climbed the ranks of the United States Forest Service, more of his time was spent in meetings and conference rooms than outside. Since he’d be town-bound once his mom had her surgery and started treatment, he’d taken the opportunity to check out a trail restoration project on the far side of Crimson Pass. He didn’t want to think about the other reasons he might have disappeared into the woods for a few days—like worry over his mom’s health or what had happened between him and Katie the night before he’d left.
Because if he’d wanted to escape his thoughts, he should have known better than to try to do it with the silence of the pristine forest surrounding him. It was as if the rustling of the breeze through the tall fir trees amplified every thought and feeling he had. Most of them had been about Katie. The tilt of her head as she smiled at him, the way her lips parted when he was buried inside her, the soft sounds she’d made. He’d been consumed by visions of her, catching the sweet smell of vanilla beneath the pine-scented air around his tent.
He knew he should have talked to her before he left. Hell, he had the start of two different notes wadded up in the glove compartment of the Jeep. But he hadn’t got more than a few words past Dear Katie either time. She was worth more than pat lines and unconvincing excuses as to why he couldn’t stay. As much as he wanted her, he should have never given in to his desire. Katie wanted more than he would ever be able to give her.
Maybe he’d left like a coward because he wanted to prove to both of them that, despite his best intentions, he couldn’t change who he was. She wasn’t a one-night stand, although that was how he’d treated her. Regret had been his faithful companion during his time on the mountain. Katie had always seen more in him than most people, and the worry of ruining their friendship weighed heavily. He owed her an explanation, and that was the first thing on his agenda this morning. After getting cleaned up.
“Do you smell as bad as you look?” a voice called from behind him.
He turned to see his friend Logan Travers coming down the back steps of the house he shared with his wife, Olivia. It was midmorning, and Logan held a stainless-steel coffee mug and a roll of paper—no doubt construction plans for one of his current renovation projects.
“Probably.” Noah hefted his backpack from the Jeep’s cargo area. Tater jumped out and trotted over to Logan, rolling onto her back so that Logan could access her soft belly.
Shifting the plans under his arm, Logan bent and scratched. “You made someone very happy taking off like that.”
Noah’s gaze snapped to Logan before realizing that his friend was talking about the dog. “She loves being out on the trail.”
“A perfect match for you.”
Noah didn’t like the idea that the only female he could make happy was of the canine variety. “Thanks for letting me use the garage apartment.” He took the rest of his supplies from the backseat and set them near the Jeep’s rear tire. He’d need to air everything out once he got to his mom’s house. “I’m going to pack up later and head out to the farm. Emily will want to skin me alive for showing up at the last minute.”
Logan straightened, ignoring the thump of Tater’s tail against his ankle. “The surgery is tomorrow.”
Noah gave a curt nod in response.
“I’ve cleared my schedule so if you need company in the waiting room I can be there.”
“No need.” Noah tried to make his tone light, to ignore the emotions that roared through him when he thought of his mother’s scheduled five-hour surgery. “There won’t be much to do except...”
“Wait?” Logan offered.
“Right.” He slung the backpack onto one shoulder. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m sure you have better things to do than hang out at the hospital all day.”
“We’re friends, Noah. Josh and Jake feel the same way,” he said, including his two brothers. “Not just when it’s time to watch the game or grab a beer. If you need anything, we’re here for you.”
“Got it.” Noah turned away, then back again. It was difficult enough to think about being there, let alone with his friends, who knew him as the laid-back, fun-loving forest ranger, an identity he’d cultivated to keep people in his life at a safe distance. A place where they couldn’t hurt him and he wouldn’t disappoint anyone. But he was quickly realizing that being alone wasn’t all it was cracked up to be when life got complicated. “I’ll call tomorrow and update you on her condition. If you want to swing by at some point, that would be great.”
Logan reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “Will do, man.”
He waited for his friend to offer some platitude about how everything would be okay, the clichéd phrases of support he’d grown to resent during his dad’s illness. But Logan only bent to pet Tater behind her ears before turning for his big truck
