closed her eyes.
‘Is everything okay with your meals?’
Marianna’s eyes sprang open to find Daniella frowning at their barely touched plates. ‘The food is divine,’ Marianna assured her.
The maître d’ planted her hands on her hips. ‘Would you like me to get Raffaele to prepare something else for you?’
‘No, no, Daniella. Honestly, the food is wonderful. It’s just...’ Marianna pulled in a deep breath. ‘Well, the fact of the matter is I’m pregnant, and food at the moment—any food—is a bit...iffy.’
Daniella stared, and then an enormous smile spread across her face. ‘Marianna! What exciting news! Congratulations!’
She bent and hugged her and Marianna’s throat thickened. ‘I...thank you.’
The maître d’ tapped a finger against her lips and then suddenly winked and wheeled away. Her smile speared straight into Marianna’s heart. She swallowed and blinked hard. She stared down into her lap and fiddled with her napkin.
Ryan ducked his head and tried to catch her eye. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Uh-huh.’ She nodded.
He brought a fist up to his mouth. ‘Are you crying?’
Marianna lifted her napkin and buried her face in it for a moment, before drawing back and dabbing at her eyes.
Ryan stared at her as if he didn’t have a clue what to do. He shuffled on his seat, but he didn’t run. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing’s wrong. It’s just... Daniella is the first person who’s actually congratulated me and...and it was nice. The news of a baby should be celebrated.’
Ryan’s face darkened. ‘I thought you said your brothers had been supportive.’
‘They have been, but...well, the pregnancy was obviously unplanned and...’ They hadn’t meant to make her feel as if she’d messed up. ‘They’ve been worried about me.’
On the table, his hand clenched. ‘And I acted like a damn jerk.’
She blew out a breath. She hadn’t really given him much of a chance to act any other way.
Daniella returned with an enormous slice of chocolate cherry cake—Marianna’s favourite. ‘Compliments of the chef,’ she said, setting it down with a flourish.
Darn it! Her throat went all thick again. Her emotions were see-sawing so much at the moment they were making her dizzy. ‘Thank him for me,’ she managed.
She promptly curved her spoon through it and brought it to her mouth, closing her eyes in ecstasy as the taste hit her. She opened them again to find Ryan staring at her as if mesmerised. A strange electricity started to hum through her blood.
They both glanced away at the same time.
Her heart pounded. Okay. In her mind she drew the word out. She and Ryan might be virtual strangers—in their real world incarnations—but they still generated heat. A lot of heat. She ate more cake. Ryan set to work on his fettuccine. They studiously avoided meeting each other’s eyes.
If they were going to successfully co-parent, they were going to have to ignore that heat.
What a pity.
She choked when the unbidden voice sounded in her head. She was shameless!
‘Everything okay?’
She pulled in a breath. ‘If we want this to work, Ryan—’
‘I for one really want it to.’
His vehemence made her feel less alone. She couldn’t afford to trust it too deeply, to enjoy it too much, but...it was still kind of nice. ‘Then we need to be really, really honest with each other, yes?’
He set his knife and fork down. ‘Yes. Even when it proves difficult.’
‘Probably especially when it proves difficult.’ She pursed her lips. ‘So, by definition, some of our conversations and discussions are going to be...difficult.’
The colour in his eyes deepened to a green that reminded her of a lagoon in Thailand where they’d spent a lazy afternoon. She swallowed and tried not to linger on what had happened after that swim when Ryan had taken her back to his beach hut.
‘You want to hit me with whatever’s on your mind?’
She dragged herself back.
The colour in his eyes intensified. ‘I swear to you, Marianna, that I mean to do right by our baby. And by you too. I want to make things as easy for you as I can. I don’t want you thinking you’re in this alone.’
It was a nice sentiment but... She motioned to his plate. ‘You can keep eating while I talk.’
The faintest of smiles touched his lips. ‘If we’re going to have one of those difficult conversations it might be better if I don’t. I wouldn’t want to choke, now, would I?’
Her lips kicked up into a smile before she managed to pull herself back into line. ‘I think there’s an enormous difference between being a good father and being a man who holds the title of father.’
‘I agree.’
‘To be good at anything means working hard at it, don’t you think?’
Again, he nodded. ‘I’m not afraid of hard work, I promise you.’ He met her gaze, his face pale but his eyes steady. ‘What I’m afraid of is failure.’
His admission had her breaking out in gooseflesh as her own fears crowded about her. She chafed her arms. ‘That’s something I can definitely relate to.’
He shook his head. ‘You’re going to be a brilliant mother. You shouldn’t doubt that for a moment. Already you’re fighting for your baby’s happiness—protecting it.’
But did it need protecting from Ryan?
‘You will be a wonderful mother,’ he repeated.
Her stomach screwed up tight. She hoped so.
His eyes suddenly narrowed. ‘Are you afraid you won’t be?’
‘No,’ she lied. ‘Of course not.’ She’d be just fine. She would! Besides, one of them feeling wobbly on the parent front was more than enough, thank you very much.
Ryan folded his arms. ‘It hasn’t been a terribly difficult discussion so far.’
Ah. Well. She could fix that. She pushed her cake to one side and pressed her hands together. ‘Ryan, in Thailand I...’ She faltered for a moment before finding her footing again. ‘I was coming home to Italy after a year spent travelling and working through Australia. Thailand was my...last hurrah, so to speak. That holiday was about having no responsibilities, being young and free, and living in the moment before settling back into my real life.’
