right?” So far he was winning the battle with the hands in the front pockets of his jeans. They were staying put.
“Yes. When did you speak to her?”
“Last night.”
“You were here last night?” There was a slight squeak to her voice as she looked around, and then back at him. She was shivering.
It wasn’t all that cold. Sixty or so. She had on a T-shirt. The sun was shining. No need for him to offer her his jacket.
“No, I wasn’t here last night.” Was he really doing this? He had to get out of the craziness. He’d known better.
“So how did you talk to her last night?” Even as she asked, her eyes widened. “She went to the club.” She answered her own question.
He nodded.
The sudden stilling of everything about her, the sharpening of her gaze, struck him as extremely non-Lizzie. And that hint of fear he’d seen cross her expression? He had to have imagined that.
He might have had a fling with her and left, but he’d never, ever given her, or any other woman, any cause to fear him.
“What did she tell you?” The question was sharp, in a tone he’d never heard from her before.
“Nothing,” he said, his frustration growing. “Just that I’d messed you up and needed to come see you.”
The anger that flashed in her eyes wasn’t hard at all to decipher, though the origin of it was not quite so clear. Either he or Carmela were in for it, though.
“She had no business going to see you.”
Deciding the wisest course was to keep quiet until he could figure out what was going on, Nolan didn’t voice his agreement on that one.
“And that’s it?” she asked. “That’s all she said?”
He nodded. He told himself she looked okay, so he could go. Should go.
Instead, he stayed glued to the spot.
“Well, as you can see, I’m fine. I’m sorry she bothered you. You can go now.”
There. She confirmed it. Time to turn around and get back to his day. To walk aimlessly around the campus area and forget he’d ever known her.
Or see everything that reminded him of her and know that he’d made the right decision.
Maybe he should take a cab to the other side of the city and look at things he’d never seen before. Or, better yet, call home and get an update on all the drama he was missing. With six siblings, there always was some—a lot of times revolving around twenty-five-year-old Savannah. She was perhaps the smartest one of the bunch, but was way too beautiful for her own good, in Nolan’s opinion, and didn’t take kindly to being told no, which he knew well. Having been born just a year before her, Nolan was the one who’d taken flak the most often when his sister didn’t get her way.
“Please, Nolan, just go.”
Lizzie’s words, the honest pleading in them, brought him back fully to her doorstep. And the fact that he was still standing there.
“What did Carmela mean about you being messed up?” That’s why he couldn’t go. He was a gentleman and he had to know what was going on. To know his own culpability, or lack thereof, and take responsibility so that he could be completely free from what had turned out to be the most unfortunate incident in his life.
“I have no idea,” Lizzie said. “I was...hurt...when you left and I couldn’t get ahold of you. Maybe she wanted to give me a chance to chew you out. Maybe she thinks that would help. And, maybe for some, it would. I had no desire to hold on to any anger and I’m over it. Completely. As you can see, I’m fine.”
Yes, she’d already said that. And she was guarding her door like a member of the Secret Service. It occurred to him then that she might have someone inside. A man would be the most obvious guess.
He turned to go. “Well, let her know I stopped by, will you? So she doesn’t show up at the club again tonight ready to smash my grill.”
She nodded. He took another step toward the parking lot and his escape. “You look good.”
“I look like crap,” she said. “I’m cleaning...” Her voice broke off, and she glanced away, almost as though she was also remembering the time he’d helped her clean the bathroom. That had been a Saturday morning, as well.
“So...Carmela said you graduated and got a job.”
She nodded, and named the school district.
She had to really be all right, then, looking as great as she did and working for the city’s public school system.
“Please, Nolan, I mean it. We had a great holiday. I really want to leave it at that. I’m asking you to leave now. And I’ll talk to Carmela.”
She looked so good.
“We could go for coffee. Just to catch up.” What was he doing?
When she shook her head, he told himself he was relieved.
“Maybe later in the week, then. Come by the club, and we can set something up...just to talk...”
“Maybe. I need to get back inside.” She took a small step back.
He had no more reason to stay then. Not a legitimate one. Wanting to give her a hug definitely wasn’t one. Nor was he ready to just say goodbye. He was in town for a bit longer. They had a little time. With a last long look, he kept his hands in his pockets and headed back the way he’d come, wondering how long he’d wait for her to show up at the club before he’d break down and visit her again.
After she slid back into her apartment, Lizzie bolted the door as though she could keep outside all of the feelings that seeing Nolan had brought back. Keep them in a pool out there. One she could avoid stepping into as she came and went from her home.
And after double-checking that the door was locked, she took her scouring pad back into her en-suite bathroom and sat on the side of the tub.
Just sat.
He’d looked so incredibly good. So good. So incredibly, bone-weakening, blood-heating good. If she was still alone and single, without responsibility, would she have asked him in?
Would she have regretted doing so?
What if he’d come when Stella had been home?
Oh. That was why Carmela had asked to take the baby on her errands that morning. Because it was something she did often enough that Lizzie wouldn’t be curious. And it would also give Lizzie time alone with Nolan.
Her best friend and roommate hadn’t told him about Stella.
She’d
