a sip to start with. Your tummy hasn’t had anything in it for a while and I don’t want you throwing up.’
Ellie sipped the cool water and it tasted wonderful. She drew in a deep breath. And then another. It felt easier.
‘Any pain?’ Tori queried.
Ellie thought about it. That was better too. ‘I feel good…I think. Can I sit up? Or go to the loo or something?’
‘You don’t need to. You’ve still got a catheter in. I think they’re planning on taking it out tomorrow and you might be able to have a shower, even. Word is that if you stay as stable as you’ve been today, they’ll shift you out of ICU and onto the ward. The maternity ward,’ the nurse added with another smile. ‘You can have your baby right beside you. How good will that be?’
But Ellie was frowning as she remembered something Tori had said earlier. ‘Why is she in the PICU? Max said she was fine.’ Her mouth trembled. ‘He said she was p-perfect.’
‘She is,’ Tori assured her hurriedly. ‘On the small side, but there’s nothing wrong with her. She went there initially because she needed watching but now it’s more like staff privilege, I guess. It was a private space for Max to do the kangaroo thing. I think he might have been a bit embarrassed to be seen bonding with his baby like that, you know?’ She chuckled. ‘Men, eh?’
‘Mmm.’ Of course he would have been embarrassed. It wasn’t even his baby.
What on earth had made Max go this far to help her? A total stranger. He had to be the most extraordinary person she’d ever met. Never mind how lucky his future wife would be. She was the lucky one right now.
‘Would you like a bit of a wash, seeing as you’re awake? I could help you clean your teeth.’
‘That would be wonderful.’
‘And then you can catch some more sleep and when you wake up in the morning, I’ll bet your family will be back in here.’ Tori paused as she headed off for supplies. ‘Have you guys got a name for the baby yet?’
‘No…I kind of expected it would be a boy.’
A boy that she would always have worried might turn out to be like his father. But what had Max said? That her baby might be a girl and pretty, just like her mum.
Max thought she was pretty? Ellie could feel the flush of warmth in her cheeks.
‘You’re looking so much better.’ Tori sounded satisfied. ‘And there’s no rush to come up with a name. Legally, I believe you’ve got a month before she has to be registered.’ She grinned. ‘Her dad started calling her “Mouse” and everyone else is now. Mouse McAdam. Bit different, anyway.’
Yes. Different. Untraceable.
Safe.
The end was in sight.
It should be a huge relief. It was a huge relief.
‘How ‘bout that, Mouse?’ Max looked down at the bundle he was carrying in the wake of the nurse who was pushing the plastic wheeled crib. ‘You’re going to the maternity ward. Your mummy’s so much better that she’s going to be able to look after you now. How good is that?’
It was very good. Excellent, even. He would be able to go home and get a full night’s sleep. He’d be able to get back to work and he couldn’t wait for a full-on, exhausting shift in the emergency department. The last few days had been an unexpected and disturbing disruption to his life and the sooner it was back on track the better. Maybe he’d suggest a weekend bike ride to the guys. Rick might stop laughing at him, finally, for playacting being a father. Jet might stop glaring at him and muttering under his breath about how crazy he was.
They were almost there now. Ellie had been put in a private room at the end of the ward. She’d only been on her feet for the first time that morning and was so weak she’d need constant help for the next few days but the nursing staff would be there for her. It was what they were paid to do, after all, and they’d do it well because everybody fell in love with Mouse.
The weight in his arms was so familiar. The kangaroo care wasn’t needed any more, of course, but Max would never forget the feel of that tiny body against his own. Or the moments of a satisfaction like no other he’d ever experienced. Like when he’d got her to take the bottle that first time. Or when she had only stopped crying when a nurse had placed her back in his arms.
‘Here you go,’ she had said, clearly reluctant. ‘It’s her daddy she wants.’
Daddy.
Was this what it felt like to be a father? He’d known what level of responsibility it would come with. And the kind of background anxiety that something bad could happen that had led to an urge to protect that was very disruptive to say the least. It had been crazy, hadn’t it, to take time off work to guard this infant? And if he’d felt this strongly about a baby that wasn’t even his, heaven help him if he ever got one of his own. If anything, he could take this whole experience as a warning.
The baby didn’t seem to approve of being relocated. She was whimpering by the time they reached the room where Ellie was sitting, propped up on pillows. She looked pale and her long hair lay in limp, dark strands but the IV lines and the oxygen mask had gone and when she saw Max coming through the door, carrying her baby, her face lit up with a smile that made him catch his breath at its brilliance.
She held out her arms and Max handed over the bundle. He hung around, though, because Mouse was crying and, well, he might be the only one who could settle her down properly. He knew this baby better than anyone, including her mother. They might need him. Just for a bit longer.
The staff busied themselves.
‘She’s hungry,’ a nurse declared. ‘I’ll go and fix a bottle for her.’
Max nodded. She was hungry, he could recognise the cry. He couldn’t leave yet because he’d be able to help Ellie with her first feed. He was good at bottles. He knew just how Mouse liked it to be held and how far to tip it and when. How you knew it was going well because her eyes would find yours and stare at you with that intense concentration that made you feel like the most important person in the world.
‘I…I thought I’d try feeding her myself,’ Ellie said.
She must have noticed his expression because a faint blush spread over her cheeks.
‘I’m drug-free, and the midwife who came to see me this morning showed me how to express milk and she said it hasn’t dried up and there’ll be plenty once I start feeding. And if there isn’t…’ Ellie sounded a little defensive now. ‘I can top up with a bottle but it’s going to be good for both of us if I give it a try.’
‘You want some help getting her latched on?’ the nurse queried.
‘Um…I’d rather try by myself.’ Ellie ducked her head, embarrassed. ‘The midwife gave me the Don’t Panic Guide to Birth to read and it’s great. There’s a technique in it that should work just as well for a baby this long after birth as if I’d done it straight away.’
‘I’ve read that.’ The nurse nodded. ‘It’s about being skin to skin and
