everyone appreciates Christmas,’ Luke said levelly.
‘That’s true.’ Ben nodded and went along with making the subject about generalities. ‘Look at the increase we see in A and E for things like self-harm.’
‘The hype doesn’t help.’ Anna was more than happy to direct conversation away from colleagues and their probable marriage woes. She gave Luke a grateful glance and then waved her hand to encompass the party and all the decorations. ‘There’s this huge expectation put out that it’s going to be the happiest day of the year. Brimming with fun, family times and the best of everything. No wonder it just serves to underline what some people aren’t lucky enough to have.’
There was a moment’s silence and Anna could have kicked herself. Had she been responsible for the atmosphere in this group going from joy at James and Charlotte’s news to entirely unnecessary gloom? She bit her lip.
‘I’m just hungry,’ she said apologetically. ‘Take no notice. I might go and find a sausage roll or something.’
‘And I’d better take these guys home,’ Lucy said. ‘We need to pace ourselves to get through all the parties lined up for the rest of this week.’
‘And I …’ Luke was obviously trying to think of a reason to excuse himself as well.
No surprises there. The noise level around them was increasing. Music had been turned up to compete with the laughter and happily raised voices, and there was a new sound mixed in with the general hubbub. A sharp cracking. People cheered and then there were more muted bangs. Someone was handing out Christmas crackers and people were pulling them with gusto.
The sound was not unlike distant gunfire. Anna’s gaze flicked back to Luke. He didn’t like parties anyway. How much worse would this be when it couldn’t fail to remind him of being in a war zone? She could see his tension escalating. Instinctively, she found herself moving closer. Wanting to protect him. He looked straight at her and she had never seen him look so grim.
James was handed a cracker. ‘Here we go.’ He laughed, holding it out to Charlotte.
This bang was much louder. Charlotte squeaked in surprise, Annabel buried her face in her father’s shoulder and little Josh burst into tears.
But Anna was still watching Luke. She saw the exact moment he stopped seeing her. When his face took on the same expression it had had in Theatre that first day. One of horror.
‘Luke.’ Anna put her hand on his arm and she could feel muscles as unyielding as steel beneath her fingers.
‘Luke.’ Her tone was more urgent now. She had to get through to him. Snap him out of this flashback before anyone else noticed.
But he didn’t seem to feel her touch. Or hear her. He started moving away and seemed unaware of the people in his path. Someone got jostled and spilled their drink.
‘Hey! Watch where you’re going.’
Ben and James were watching where Luke was going. Anna caught the glance the two men exchanged. Frowning, Ben opened his mouth to say something but Anna shook her head.
‘I’ll go,’ was all she said.
It was quite easy to follow Luke. People were stepping aside like a wave as they saw him coming. Smiles faded from faces to be replaced with dropping jaws. Anna didn’t catch up with him until he was well past the doors of the canteen. She barely noticed Josh coming in the opposite direction. Good grief, this party wasn’t proving very enjoyable for more than one person.
Finally, she got close enough to catch hold of Luke’s hand but he didn’t stop. He towed her along until he reached the end of the corridor. The noise from the canteen was muted now, like the lighting in this junction that contained the lifts. Two big pot plants on either side of a bench seat had some tinsel draped over their leaves.
Luke stopped and his head turned swiftly from one side to the other. At some level he was making a decision on what direction to take next. He still felt just as tense. Just as distant.
Anna had to distract him. Bring him back to the present. She stepped in front of him and reached up to hold his face with both hands.
‘Luke …’ She tilted his face, forcing him to look down at her. ‘It’s me. Anna.’
He was still caught somewhere else. A long way away in time and place. Somewhere dark.
Anna had to do something. Without thinking, she stood on tiptoe, still holding Luke’s face.
And then she kissed him.
LUKE knew that Anna was kissing him.
Just as he’d known that she had followed him from the canteen and had caught his hand. He’d heard the urgency in her voice.
But it had all been on another level of his consciousness. Maybe that was what it was like for people in a coma. Or coming out of one, anyway. They could hear the voices and feel the touch but there was a transition period before they were able to enter the same reality.
Something had snapped inside him with the sound of that cracker and he’d known he was getting sucked into a flashback. He’d tried to fight it off as he’d stormed out of the canteen. Tried to shut down the even louder cracks of the real gunfire he could hear. The explosions of landmines. The screams of dying men. But the pull had been huge. Even the smell of savoury food became acrid. Like smoke. Rusty. Like blood.
By the time he was in the corridor all Luke had been aware of had been the need to escape. To find somewhere he could be alone and bury his head in his hands until, somehow, he could wrestle the monster into submission and regain control. And then he’d felt Anna’s grip on his hand and heard her voice calling his name.
He tried to clear his head. Tried so hard. He wanted to get back to her. He was caught in the horror of a battlefield and she was there but not there. If he could just reach her, everything would be all right. Couldn’t she hear him shouting? That he was trying, dammit. Doing his utmost to get to her.
Maybe she had heard. Maybe that was why she was holding his head and pulling it down. Pressing her lips against his with such intensity.
God … he recognised this form of escape. Distraction. Release. An affirmation of life. Passionate sex that carried no strings because if you got involved you only risked more of exactly what you were using it to escape from.
How did Anna know?
It didn’t matter.
Luke could feel the force that had taken over his mind receding. He was in control again but instead of pulling away his lips moved over hers and his arms went around her body. He drew them both into the shadowy area between the bench and the giant pot plant.
He let his hands shape her body. Feeling the trim curve of her waist and the neat rounds of her buttocks and then up, beneath the layer of the tailored jacket. Up to the solid anchor of her shoulder blades and then around to the softness of her breasts. He cupped them and brushed his thumbs across the nipples that he could feel like tiny pebbles beneath the silky fabric of her blouse.
