We don’t bring personal matters here. Not to work.’
‘We’ve always brought personal matters here, Evie. We tangled those threads a long time ago.’
Maybe so, but she had never thought Max would ambush her like this. She glared at him some more and then at Caroline, who stood quietly by the door, wanting more from Evie than Evie had in her heart to give.
‘You’re here to tell me how you failed to protect your son?’ she asked acidly and felt a flush of shame when Caroline Carmichael looked her dead in the eye and said yes.
‘Everyone makes mistakes, Evangeline. Mistakes that shatter your world and lose you everything you love,’ said Caroline with quiet dignity and Evie felt the sharp sting of tears behind her eyes. ‘Please.’
‘I can’t help you repair your relationship with Logan.’
‘I’m not expecting you to,’ said Caroline. ‘I just want you to help my son be the best man he can be. I want him to realise what a good man he is. I want him to be happy.’
As far as manipulation went Caroline had nailed her good—or maybe Max had. Someone had.
‘One hour. Not a minute more,’ said Evie, and again Logan’s mother said yes.
‘Why did you make Max give me that ring?’ asked Evie when they were seated at a table for two on the shady terrace of a nearby restaurant. The table wobbled ever so slightly because of the convict-laid cobblestones beneath its feet, but the water was cold and the service was speedy, and, as far as Evie was concerned, speedy was good. ‘You knew Logan would recognise it.’
‘You have to understand,’ said Caroline. ‘Logan was a heartbeat away from walking out my door that weekend and never coming back. Because of you. Because of me. Because walking away is easier than staying and dealing and if there’s one thing Logan knows how to do it’s walk away,’ said Caroline. ‘Logan was about to turn his back on his family. I had nothing to lose.’
‘But why the ring? Why shove those memories in his face?’
‘Because I thought I could goad Logan into finally losing his temper with me. He never has, you know. He locks it all up inside. I’ve been thinking for years that if I could just shatter his self-control, just once, that he would realise that, no matter how deeply he feels betrayed, he will never raise his hand in anger. Never be the man his father was.’ Caroline sat back and raised an elegant hand to her neck, rubbing wearily before seeming to realise what she was doing. Her hand returned to her lap and she sat up straighter, the perfect image restored.
‘Do you have any idea how much courage it takes an abused woman to pick a fight, Evangeline? That’s how much I believe in the goodness of my son’s heart. That’s how strongly I believe that Logan’s fear of turning out like his father is misguided. He won’t. He will never raise his hand in anger. I believe that with all that I am.’
Evie ran a hand through her hair and nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
‘I’m sorry I used you, Evie. I used Max too and I’ve apologised to him as well. But you have to understand …
That weekend was the closest I’ve ever seen Logan to breaking. I thought that if I pushed him I could finally make it happen.’
Love wasn’t meant to be this complicated, thought Evie raggedly. It just wasn’t. ‘But he didn’t break.’
‘Not on me, no. Instead, you threw that ring away and cracked my son’s heart wide open. I’m calling that a win.’
‘You’re mad,’ said Evie.
‘Been called that before.’ Caroline Carmichael’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. ‘Mad and useless and pathetic. I used to believe it. I don’t any more.’
The waiter came with glasses and water and took their lunch order. Salad for Caroline and a sandwich for Evie. Food that wouldn’t take long to prepare, food that would get this luncheon finished with fast.
‘If Logan’s father was such a man as you describe …’ Evie couldn’t believe she was about to ask such an intimate question of a woman she barely knew ‘… why did you marry him?’
‘If I said I loved him once with all my heart you’d call me a fool. But it’s the only explanation I’ve got.’
Which was no answer at all and for some reason made Evie want to cry. Again.
‘Has Logan told you anything about his father?’ asked Caroline Carmichael after a long, long pause.
‘Very little.’ Evie shrugged and cleared her throat. ‘He told me that you left him. That you left Logan too. And then his father killed himself.’
‘Did he mention that he was with his father because I was in a hospital with two cracked ribs, a broken cheekbone and internal bruising?’
No. Logan hadn’t mentioned that.
‘Hospital,’ echoed Evie.
‘Yes.’
That explained.a lot.
‘When I got out of hospital I went to my sister’s. I stayed there a week, getting AVO’s and legal advice about how to get Logan away from his father. How to keep him away from his father. His father was a rich man. He could have the best legal representation money could buy and I needed to cover my bases. I couldn’t afford not to do everything right. I was always coming back for my son, Evangeline. Always. I just wasn’t fast enough.’
Evie said nothing. There was nothing to say.
‘Do you know what the ultimate bid for control ends in, Evangeline?’ asked Caroline Carmichael. ‘Death. And you might think that the last one standing is the victor, but not always. Sometimes the last ones standing wear the stain of that death for the rest of our lives. The helplessness and the guilt. The control issues. The fear of ever letting anyone get close.’
‘But you married again.’
‘I had the best shrinks money could buy and a very understanding second husband. He died too, from cancer, and it was fast and painful. Heartbreaking in its own way. But not my fault.’
There was the guilt Caroline Carmichael spoke of. The deeply held scars that coloured her life.
My mother’s not a bad person, Max had said.
‘Mrs Carmichael—’
‘Caroline,’ said the older woman. ‘Please.’
‘Caroline.’ The name rolled off Evie’s tongue easily enough. It was hard to keep hold of her anger when her overwhelming emotion was sadness. ‘I appreciate you telling me about your past, and Logan’s, but please … don’t pin any hopes on me and Logan staying together, or on me being able to influence his relationship with you. I’m not pinning any hopes on me and Logan staying together. He’s here for a week and we’re halfway through it already, and after that he’s going to go. And while I hope very much that Logan’s been able to slay a few demons when it comes to him being too dominant and me being too submissive all those years ago, I’m
