he could harness only though marriage.
Why did she refuse him? It was hard to comprehend. Perhaps she felt guilty for breaking the pact that she had proposed on her first day of employment?
They had both broken it. That was moot and it was time to move forward.
“I hold myself fully accountable for this unfortunate situation. You bear no blame—”
“But I—” She began to protest and he held up his hand to silence her.
“Your pledge to me on the first day of employment was broken by my rash actions, not yours. Rest assured, we’ll never mention it again. I will provide you and our child with every advantage and opportunity. As my wife, you’ll want for nothing. You will bear my name and we’ll share life as a family.”
Already his heart swelled with the idea. How strange that the universe should provide such an opportunity! That fate should deliver a woman into his arms who was his match in every way.
Their marriage was an ideal outcome to this strange predicament.
“We’ll make our announcement tomorrow. We’ll be married before the month is out and our child will suffer no shame.” He rubbed his hands together. “We shall plan the wedding immediately, perhaps by next week—”
“I can’t marry you.” She spoke quietly, but with no hesitation.
Her renewed refusal struck him like a slap.
“But you must. Can’t you see that?” He couldn’t keep angry indignation out of his voice.
She looked away across the room for a moment, as if gathering her thoughts, then back at him, eyes wide. “I know that in some ways marriage does seem like the sensible thing, the obvious thing to do, but I also know that in the long run we’d both regret it. We’d feel trapped, like we were forced together.”
“Arranged marriages are common in my country. Few matches arise out of love, but many achieve it.”
The cruel irony stung him. He was making the argument his father had made to him when he came of age. A suitable bride, a lifetime of duty. He’d rejected it out of hand and claimed the right to choose his own bride, shape his own destiny, even if it meant abandoning his homeland for good. He’d given up enough already at the hands of his father.
“Did your parents have a happy marriage?”
Sara’s question penetrated the dark fog of ugly memories that surrounded his last face-to-face encounter with the man who stole his childhood.
“No.” He would not lie to her.
She turned to face him, fixed him with her wide-eyed stare. “So you know firsthand that a marriage of convenience doesn’t always lead to—love.” The last word caught in her throat slightly and Elan’s heart constricted as she said it.
Love. It was not a commodity to be bought or sold, searched for, found or extracted with the aid of high-tech equipment. It was something strange, unknowable, elusive—that no amount of money could buy.
He doubted he would know it if he saw it. His life had been empty of love since his mother’s death. Even his once-beloved brothers were now virtual strangers to him, all of them victims of his father’s power games.
“What went wrong in your parents’ marriage?” She asked the question cautiously. He bridled at the unpleasant prospect of airing his family’s dirty linen with an outsider. Some things were better left unspoken. But her steady gaze called to him, demanded his honesty.
“My father liked to be in control and to have those around him know he was in control.”
“And he tried to control your mother?” The pulse flickering at her throat contradicted her calm voice.
“Yes. She was much younger than he, bright and free-spirited, with her own way of doing things.” Elan swallowed. Even after all these years he could still see her smiling face, feel the soft touch of her soothing hands. He’d clung to those memories as a balm to his loneliness. “My father did not brook any contradiction.”
“So they argued?”
“Yes. About many things. Until my father declared that in his household he laid down the rules and everyone would obey. When my mother defied him he punished her in the harshest way he could think of. By taking her sons away and sending them abroad.”
“Including you.” Her eyes narrowed and he stiffened at what looked like pity in her expression.
“Yes. She died shortly afterward and his punishment was inflicted permanently on all of us. He died a lonely and bitter old man who had lost his sons, as well as his wife.”
“That’s terrible.”
The soft expression in her eyes seemed to invite him to sink into the warm comfort of her arms, but her rigid posture held him at bay and those wide jade eyes begged him to keep his distance.
He straightened his shoulders, held his head erect. He didn’t need her sympathy or anyone else’s. A hard shell had formed around the tender core of his emotions and now he supposed there was nothing left inside it to give or receive love.
His deficiencies must be obvious to Sara. She was a lively young girl who hoped to spend her life with a whole man, not one whose spirit was hollowed by loneliness and toughened by exile.
“If you think it’s best, I’ll offer my resignation.” Her words penetrated his grim thoughts.
“No!” Heat surged through him.
She took a quick step back as if he might hurl himself at her, then quickly steadied herself, one hand resting on her belly.
“You must not leave your job.” The thought struck a chord of alarm. That she might get on a train, leave town and never come back… It was not something he could contemplate.
Conviction roared through him. Immediate marriage was the only possible course of action. It was the sensible thing to do. The right thing to do. His heart played no role in his decision. He would handle this situation as he would manage any business crisis, with decisive action.
“You will remain at the headquarters, of course. As for travel in your condition—”
“If I stay I shall continue my job exactly as planned. I do not wish for any special favors or considerations. I’ll leave for Louisiana next week as we discussed.”
He blew out a snort of laughter. “You can’t stay on a drilling rig. It’s dangerous and dirty.”
“No more so than it was yesterday, when you briefed Mrs. Dixon and myself on my responsibilities there.”
“Yesterday, you weren’t pregnant.” He shoved a hand through his hair. This situation was a challenge to his wits. “Of course, you were pregnant, but I didn’t know that at the time. It is the nature of our business that it’s dangerous and dirty, there’s no avoiding those aspects of it, but you will certainly not risk exposure to pollutants while you’re pregnant with our child.”
“El
