wrestling the cakes out of the box straight afterwards. I take it from the long line of empty fizz bottles in front of the mirror, which I also snap, that they’ve been binge drinking. Which might explain the no-holding-back cupcake rush. Then I whoosh in and deliver a cupcake to Zoe.
‘Thanks for bringing those, Holly. How’s my messy up-do?’ She points to her hair and pauses for my admiring glance. ‘It’s the only relaxed bit of the whole day I got past my mum.’ So that explains the string quartet tuning up outside. Also ridiculously photogenic. Jules doesn’t know what he’s missing here. But in addition to a chamber orchestra for later? From where I’m standing, still very much on the outside of the wedding scene, it all sounds like over-kill.
Although I mustn’t let my mind wander. That’s another cue for me there. ‘Gorgeous hair, Zoe. The diamond strands in there look amazing. If you hold still, I’ll just get those.’ And they’re done.
By the time I’ve taken shots of the girls right along the hair and make-up line, all the way into their bridesmaid’s dresses, I’m staring at the big clock on the wall and wondering where this morning went. And then Jules is here, arm in arm with Zoe’s mum, looking every inch her new ‘best friend forever’, as he marches her in to help Zoe into her dress.
One bark from him. ‘Okay, I’ve got this, now, Holly.’ I’m back to hovering in the background like a hawk, mopping up the leftover shots. Jules only broke his silence in the car to give a rundown of the occasions where he wanted me to shadow his shots. And to drum into me that for the rest of the time I had to be on high alert, every single second of the whole day, to cover the relaxed angle. It’s the candid shots that make the day, apparently, and they’re over in an instant. I need to anticipate each bridesmaid finally sinking into a chair and kicking off her shoes. The moment the hard man groomsman cracks and wipes away a tear. Every toddler yawning.
And then Kip’s at the door, calling. ‘Time for the bridesmaids, please.’ As he sweeps them away, Jules marches Zoe’s mum out too.
And now it’s just me, Zoe, and the hair and make-up ladies, unplugging their hair tongs, and packing up the lippy. Four empty chairs. And the rest of the room that looks like every suitcase on an entire luggage carousel just exploded.
Zoe’s standing, tugging at the satin of her dress, wagging her small bouquet, having the last pale brushstrokes added to her lips. ‘What happened to the last four hours?’ Her voice is rustling like tissue paper. And despite enough contouring and blusher to make her look like a supermodel, her skin looks the colour of parchment. ‘How can it be time? Am I even ready?’
‘You have to be more ready than I am.’ As I mouth the words silently, my stomach feels like there’s an iron hand gripping it. How ridiculous. I couldn’t feel more nervous if I was the one getting married. It’s as if I’m living the moment I’m never going to have with Luc.
It starts as the iron hand tightening on my guts, and it ends with me making a dash to the bride’s bathroom and hurling my non-existent breakfast down the luxury toilet bowl. It’s all over in a few seconds. Then I’m pulling the flush, washing my hands and face, throwing down a glass of water. A minute later I’m out again, grasping my camera in one hand and grappling my camera bag onto my shoulder with the other.
Kip’s back at the door. ‘Okay, we’re ready for you, Zoe.’ I know he’s Lily’s man, and apparently his wedding skills weren’t always this well-honed. But Kip has definitely found the bucket-loads of charm it takes for a job like this now.
I don’t even have time to say sorry for my hugely embarrassing bathroom dash. I give Zoe’s hand a little squeeze and she’s off. But as she hesitates to drag in a breath in the doorway, a shaft of sunlight illuminates the hallway ahead of her. And the stark lines of her neck are silhouetted against the light. The diamond strands in her hair are glinting. From somewhere I scrape my voice together. ‘Hold it there, Zoe, just for a moment, please.’ I don’t rush. I press to adjust for the back lighting. I capture Zoe’s last terrified second as a single woman. ‘Okay, all done.’
Kip grins over his shoulder at me as he ushers Zoe out of the room. ‘Watch out for the oldies falling asleep during the speeches, Holly. Happens every time.’
And as they glide off down the hallway, I shoot back into the bathroom.
Tuesday 5th December
At Daisy Hill Farm House: Handbags and potato sacks
‘So, you can head off now, Holly. We’re pretty much done here.’
It’s Jules, and if he’s finally called a halt to hostilities, it’s probably because it’s nine in the evening and he’s completely knackered. We’ve seen his famous bounding all day, but for the first time at this wedding he’s come to a complete standstill, by the front door.
To be honest, I can’t remember a day this action packed, ever. Even the year we all went to Glastonbury after A levels, there was time to flop. And today has been one of those weird days that has whizzed by, but it still feels like at least a century since I first wriggled out from under the duvet this morning.
‘If you’re sure?’ I say, hoping that he won’t change his mind. Aidan and Zoe have swayed to their Wonderful World first dance and we’ve spent another half hour taking pictures of other couples, also swaying. As we’re assured there definitely won’t be any Macarena action this evening, apparently this is traditionally the time we photographers disappear. While Jules is going to hang on to do a couple of his signature illuminated outdoor shots with Aidan and Zoe, I’m getting a taxi back to town. ‘If I wasn’t so tired, I’d shout woohoo.’ And phew to me finally getting out of his hair.
Jules can’t hold back his ‘I told you so’ grin as he flips back his fringe. ‘Bad as that, is it?’ All day on his feet and the guy still looks flawless.
I pull a face. ‘One of the most full-on days of my life to date.’ I’m being honest, not ungrateful. And if I’m sounding cheery, it’s probably because it’s finally over. ‘Thanks for letting me tag along. I’ve picked up enough to know that my beach wedding will definitely be my last.’ When it comes to photographic subjects, give me pizza every time. High octane wedding stress has gone straight to the top of my avoid-at-all-costs list. My one lucky break today is that Jules didn’t find out about my pre-wedding puke.
He’s beaming at me now. ‘Great to hear you’ve come to terms with your limitations. I knew weddings weren’t your bag.’ No one gloats quite as much as a man who’s just been proved right, even though I was with him all along. ‘Although you might have a shot or two for me to put in the album?’
‘There’s a couple of a snoring grandma.’ That was all thanks to Kip’s tip. I caught her nodding off, then jolting when the person next to her woke her up. Cruel, but if you look at it from the humorous side, it’s a nice sequence. To be honest, I think that’ll be the sum total of my contribution. Jules really did have this entire day covered. More than that, he seemed to be under the impression he was personally in charge of the whole damned shebang.
‘I’ll call by the shop very soon and we’ll whizz through what you’ve got.’ Despite the hint of a smile, Jules deals in orders not requests. ‘Well if you want to say “bye” to Zoe and Aidan, they’re here now.’ What was I saying about him being in charge?
And
