Acknowledgements
Saturday, 2nd December
At St Aidan station: Sparkle all the way
‘Could you possibly take me to Brides by the Sea?’
The whiskers I’m staring up at are curly, white and, at a guess, a hundred per cent acrylic. And let’s be clear about this – hitching a ride on Santa’s horse and carriage definitely isn’t my first choice to get across town to the wedding shop, where I’m going to be staying for the next month.
When I got on the train this morning at St Pancras there was a seventy-five-foot tree in the departure hall, enough spangley lights to illuminate the northern hemisphere and choirs clustered around pianos singing carols. Christmas in London was rolled out in November. I can’t tell you how blissful it was to leave it all behind and arrive in St Aidan to the sound of seagulls, and one wonky tree by the station exit that hadn’t got its decorations on yet. And I know my mum and dad have let our family house in nearby Rose Hill village and gone off to Spain on a wild winter sun-seeking adventure in a motor caravan. But when I smell the salty air and catch a glimpse of the jumble of white painted cottages and grey stone houses winding up the hill into the town here, even though my parents are away it still feels as if I’m coming home.
The bad news is, by the time I’ve jostled my way through the mass of travellers in their North Face jackets, and dragged my rucksack and a suitcase the size of a garden shed onto the pavement outside the station, the last of the line of waiting taxis is a disappearing dot on the horizon. So when a pony and trap driven by Santa Claus himself jingles to a halt in front of me, even though I’ve come to here to avoid Christmas, the offer of a lift into town is too tempting to turn down.
‘Brides by the Sea, Jess’s wedding shop?’ Santa hitches his belt over a stomach so squishy it has to be hollowfill and raises one eyebrow archly. Then he nudges the huge elf in green beside him. ‘Four floors of bridal gorgeousness, Cornwall’s most fabulous wedding emporium. As advertised on Pirate Radio, and featured in Hello! and OK! magazines.’
‘That’s the one,’ I say, mildly surprised that he’s so word perfect. Although even that gushing description falls short of describing the delicious haven of white lace and prettiness that overlooks St Aidan bay. He’s obviously heard about Seraphina East, known to us as Sera, the shop’s dress designer, hitting the nationals last year, when she made a bespoke dress for a celebrity.
Santa beams as he rubs his belt. ‘Brides by the Sea will always have a special place in our hearts. It’s where we bought the suits for our very own wedding.’ He and the elf exchange dreamy glances, a couple more nudges and some nose wrinkles. ‘You know they’re extending into the shop next door too?’ Santa’s sudden change of tone suggests he’s impressed, yet possibly jealous.
‘Do you know Jess well, then?’ I’ve heard the news about the shop expanding, because I’ve been chatting to my bestie Poppy, who works there. But it always comes as a shock when I remember St Aidan’s, the kind of town where everyone knows everybody, and everything about them too. Pretty much down to their bra size.
The elf jumps down and gives me a wink as he lands on the pavement next to me. ‘We’re Chamber of Commerce chums. Divorce was the making of Jess, you know. She’s been turbo charged ever since. Any friend of Jess’s is a friend of ours, so we’re happy to go the extra mile for you, even if we’re only out on a pre-season practice run. We’re just getting our pony, Nutella – that’s Nuttie for short – used to the bells again.’ He gives the pony’s chocolate brown rump a pat as he dips towards my luggage, groaning as he heaves my suitcase onto the back of the cart. ‘Christmas crackers, how many wet suits have you got in there? You’re down for the winter surf, I presume?’
The other thing I forget about when I’ve been away is the incessant questions.
I laugh. If anyone wants proof that you can grow up by the sea in Cornwall and end up with zero aptitude for water sports, just look my way. As for my heavy bags, I’m not admitting I’ve brought my boxed sets of Friends, every Harry Potter paperback I own, along with the Princess Diaries, and my entire Sweet Valley High collection. In case you’re wondering, as far as my extended visit to Cornwall goes, I’m planning a big month in.
‘Sorry, I should have warned you, my cameras weigh a ton. I’m here to take pictures for my friends’ beach wedding.’
Choosing to get married at the seaside in December might sound bonkers, but when they asked me to do their photos I jumped at the chance to get away from London. In my real job I’m a food photographer, working for a product development company. I know taking pictures of burgers is a thousand miles away from capturing bridal parties. But this particular surfie wedding is so small and laid back I’m looking forward to the challenge of a change. I’m hoping it’ll be more like fun than work. More importantly, the happy couple are my favourite friends of the ex I’ve spent the last year pining over. Not that I’m getting my hopes up in that area. But at least I might get to catch up on what he’s doing and take some lovely wedding shots for my friends Becky and Nate along the way.
As I pull myself back to reality, Santa’s hauling on my hand hard enough to pull my arm out of its socket. A second later my bottom crashes down next to his on the high seat of the carriage, and my own fake fur sleeve is crushed against his raspberry fleece. Then, as his yank turns into a vigorous handshake, my mouth goes onto autopilot.
‘Hi, I’m Holly, lovely to meet you, Santa … and your elf husband too …’ I usually have a rule never to tell people my name between November and January, so I brace myself for the wisecracks. Believe me, if it’s December, they always come.
Santa nods and gives a little sniff. ‘A Christmas wedding photographer called Holly. Very fitting.’
‘Not too many pricks, I hope.’ The elf widens his eyes at Santa, as he lands on my other side.
‘Only my ex,’ I say, pulling a face.
The elf takes in my groan and changes tack. ‘Great, so how about a quick selfie with Santa before we set off?’
‘I’ll pass on that one, thanks.’ If I sound appalled by the idea, I can’t help it. Apart from the beach wedding, I’m here because I’m hell bent on escaping from Christmas. So running smack into my own dedicated Santa straight outside the station is a big backwards step. Ending up jammed between him and his chief elf is even more damned careless of me. A selfie would be the end of washday. In a launderette-burning-down kind of way.
The
