I did. I’ve been in denial about how much I felt for her and I’d resolved to tell her when I came home, if I came home.
My uncle pats Luke on the back. He seems as proud as if Luke were his own flesh and blood, not the son of his former business partner. Rory always had a soft spot for Luke but now there’s clearly a bond between them that wasn’t there when I went away. It’s as if Luke is Rory’s son now.
‘Aren’t you thrilled for them?’ Mrs Channing’s voice cuts through me and she gives me a calculating glance.
‘Oh yes. Thrilled.’ I echo her because I can’t formulate my own thoughts any more. I can’t even think straight.
‘Cal, darling, I’ll fetch you a whisky.’ Robyn scuttles off.
I glance to Isla, clutching her glass so tightly it could shatter any second but Luke’s arm is around my back.
He clears his throat nervously. He knows I fancied Isla, and that we dated for a while before I left but not how much I really felt for her. ‘Hey, mate, it’s great to have you home. Joking apart, I was worried that you might have decided to stay out there.’
‘I thought the same myself, a few times.’ My smile hides an instinct to lash out like a wounded animal. Anyone will tell you my social veneer was never thick, but now it’s paper thin and rubbed to nothing in places. My time in the Middle East has shown me the worst of human nature, including my own. It was a mistake to turn up like this, an even bigger one to come home and expect to find everything as I left it.
‘Cal?’ Isla’s voice is soft, reminding me that these are the people I love and miss, whose company I longed for, but now I’m here, now I know how much things have changed, I’d rather face the warzone I came from.
Ignoring Isla temporarily, I search Luke’s face, interrogate him. ‘How long have you two been together?’
‘A good few months now.’ His tone is overly casual, his smile over bright. ‘Come through to the sitting room. Have a drink. We’ll talk.’
‘No. No, I … thanks for the offer, mate, but I need to get home to Kilhallon Park.’
‘Wait, Cal! Surely you’re going to tell us where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing lately?’
The answer to Isla’s question is so complicated, and yet so simple, that my brain literally hurts. The blood pulses in my temple, a tight band seems to crush my skull.
‘Not now, I’m tired … and I don’t want to spoil your party with my boring stories. Plus, I really should go and see how Polly is. I left a message on her phone but I haven’t heard back from her yet. I hope she’s been OK while I’ve been out of contact.’
Luke flashes me a sympathetic smile. ‘Polly’s fine but you obviously wouldn’t expect her to cope with managing the whole place on her own, with no money coming in since just before you left, after your father passed away. Rory and I did what we could to keep things from falling into complete rack and ruin but we didn’t want to take over.’
I smile at Luke and his arm tightens around Isla’s waist. The sight of him with her is like a jagged knife sawing through my guts.
‘I can see that. Congratulations,’ I say and walk out.
‘Demi!’
I wake to find someone shaking me, gently but firmly. Mitch barks but in a way that says ‘friend’ not ‘foe’. Warm fingers grip my shoulder.
Sheila’s plump face comes into focus. ‘You’re bloody freezing, love! What are you doing here?’
‘Umm …’ I cringe inwardly, embarrassed at being found sleeping in the doorway of a chip shop.
‘I’d been hoping to see you again but not like this. I wouldn’t have known you were here but one of the fishermen mentioned he’d seen a girl and her dog sleeping rough when he brought some prawns round first thing. You silly girl, how long have you been sleeping out here for? I thought you told me you could stay at your friend’s parents’ while they were on holiday?’
‘Oh, I’ve only been here since last night. My mate’s mum and dad came home early so I had to leave.’
‘Then you should have come to me. You can stay in the loft room again until you’re sorted and I don’t care what Mawgan Cade says. She can throw us all out, if she wants,’ Sheila declares with a defiant look.
‘That’s lovely of you but there’s no way I’m going to make any more trouble for you.’
‘Well, I don’t care. Someone should do something about the Cades. I’m going to find a new cafe, away from them, the money-grabbing buggers …’ Her tone softens. ‘Oh my lovely, I’m so sorry you’ve ended up here. Can’t the council find you somewhere to stay?’
‘It takes time and there are families who need homes a lot more than me. Besides, there aren’t many places that would take Mitch. I haven’t made things easy for myself.’
‘You’ve had a rough start to life, that’s for sure. What about jobs?’
‘I tried the Job Centre and applied for a couple of catering jobs but it’s early days yet.’
Slowly, the feeling returns to my limbs. The early morning sea mist has seeped through my clothes and I’m sure someone used the doorway as a toilet during the night. I hope that’s not why my sleeping bag is so damp.
‘Well, you bloody well can’t stay here. I daren’t have you back to work at the cafe but I’ve heard about something on the grapevine that might suit you. It comes with accommodation.’
I stand up, wincing at the pins and needles in my feet. ‘Really?’
‘Don’t get too excited. It might not come to anything and it was only a word from a friend. She works at a caravan site.’
‘A caravan site? Er … that sounds interesting, but if there’s work going?’
She grimaces. ‘It’s in the back of beyond, which is why I shouldn’t get too excited, but you never know. Come to the cafe for a bit of breakfast before we open. I don’t care if Mawgan Cade sees you. I’ll throw something over her myself if she says anything.’
At the mention of breakfast, Mitch jumps to his paws. I gather up my sleeping bag and my rucksack and follow Sheila. I lied to her. There is no friend or parents’ house. There never was. I’ve been sleeping rough for the past three days since the run-in with Mawgan. Since I left home after a falling out with my dad and his new partner, and had to leave my previous job, I’ve never been in one place long enough – not even a shop doorway – to make long-term friends, and definitely not ones with room to put me and Mitch up. As for the housing office, I want to try and find my own live-in job first. There are hundreds of people who need council accommodation a lot more than I do.
Sheila slaps a plate of bacon and eggs in front of me and refills my mug of coffee. ‘Here you are. Get that down you.’
