he had always been a sucker for a damsel in distress. That particular weakness had nearly destroyed his life. He’d sworn it wasn’t going to happen again. He had a chance now to rebuild his career, and he damn well wasn’t going to let anything, especially a woman, risk it.
He was going to stay away. A long, long way away.
* * *
ANDY WATCHED HIM drive away, then turned back to explore the cabin.
Her first impression of the cabin was warmth. Someone had loved this cabin. And that made her ache inside. It was just like the home she and Jared had planned to buy. A large living area with expansive windows, hardwood floors and a huge fireplace.
She went into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee from the electric pot. Mr. Rowland had put out a cup and bowls of sugar and creamer. She liked her coffee black, and the stronger the better. She had become addicted to it in college and later during long hours in operating rooms.
She took a plate with two rolls outside and returned for the coffee. She didn’t want to risk spilling either one with her bad hand. She sat in one of several chairs on the screened porch and ignored the swing. Joseph followed her and sat at her side and regarded the roll enviously.
Andy couldn’t help but smile as the dog’s tongue lolled out the side of his mouth. She steeled herself against getting too attached to the dog, but she had to admit he was growing on her. She couldn’t resist giving him a piece of roll.
She looked out through the pines to the lake. The sky was impossibly blue against the mountains, and a cool breeze was refreshing. The scent of pines perfumed the air.
For the first time since she set off on this journey, she relaxed. Maybe this had been a good move, temporarily anyway. She liked Nate Rowland. He hadn’t pushed but made her feel comfortable in a strange place under strange circumstances. He was lanky, like Jared, and had a warm smile.
Grief filled her as she saw Jared’s smile again, slow to come but then widening until it filled her heart. It was as real today as it had been seven months ago.
She felt the darkness descending again. The despair. Joseph nudged her, and she stood, remembering what Nate Rowland said about the mountain. A walk. Fresh air. That was what she needed. She looked up and saw the path he had mentioned.
“What do you think, Joseph? Should we try it?”
Joseph wagged his tail eagerly.
She silently admitted to doubts. Her hand would be no use if she needed to grab something. But the path was there. Taunting her. Inviting her to leave her safety zone.
She could hear Jared now. Go for it.
A breeze brushed her face, as if he were there next to her.
She started up the path. Joseph went ahead of her but kept looking back to make sure she was keeping pace with him. She didn’t realize how out of shape she was. She hadn’t run since Afghanistan.
She was breathing hard when she reached what was obviously a lookout. She paused and looked out over the town of Covenant Falls. It looked like a toy town from here. The lake appeared an even richer blue. On its border was a large park with a beach, gazebo, swings and a large rambling building. Four church steeples were also visible. The main street was the only one that looked busy.
A peaceful town where everyone probably knew everyone. It wasn’t what she and Jared had planned. He’d been a top surgeon specializing in traumatic injuries. He had already been offered positions in several practices in Chicago and Richmond, Virginia, at the end of his service commitment. Richmond had been her hope, but she’d suspected Chicago had been his.
Nor was Covenant Falls anything like the mining town where she had been raised. That town had the scent of poverty hovering over it. Hardscrabble houses and bare yards. There was always the smell of coal and dust and the sound of heavy machinery.
Joseph made curious little noises in his throat and licked her hand. “Sensing something, huh?” she said. “But I’m okay. Really, I am.”
He looked at her with those clear blue eyes. He seemed to be saying, “I’m here now. You’re not alone.”
Not alone. Then, why did she feel she was? Nate Rowland seemed nice enough. But he was a stranger, and she intended to keep him that way.
He’d looked Western inside and out with his hard, lean build, plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up, worn jeans and boots. His hair was a little long and looked as if it had been combed with his fingers, and his eyes were a cool hazel. His hand had been hard with calluses.
Jared’s hands had been so different. His fingers had been long and smooth and supple, as if designed to perform the most delicate and precise surgery. His dark eyes were always intense...
Don’t! Don’t do this! She filled her lungs with fresh air and the rich smell of pine. She swallowed hard. Joseph nudged her again, and she reached out and scratched behind his ears. He was a dog. A smart one, but could he really read her mind?
She hadn’t had a nightmare or panic attack since the third night at Karen’s ranch, but then that had been only a few days ago. Her problem was she never knew when they would strike. That uncertainty kept her from searching out a nonsurgical nursing position.
Rested, she looked at the towering mountains in the other direction. Snow-covered peaks glistened in the noon sun. How she wished Jared could see it, too.
She could almost hear his voice. Live, sweetheart. Live for me.
He wouldn’t be happy with the way she had closed herself off from life.
And yet pain was a living thing inside her. It had been for months. She couldn’t let go of it. She didn’t want to let it go. It would be a betrayal of those who died that day. But maybe here—away from the military and everything that reminded her of her former life—maybe she could manage it. Maybe she could take pleasure in a deep blue sky and a fresh breeze without feeling guilty.
She started down the mountain. The path was well trod but steep. She had to concentrate on every step—a good thing, in her mind. She was winded when she reached the bottom. She remembered when she could run ten miles without breathing hard.
But that was a lifetime ago. Now she had to face new challenges. She only hoped she could.
ONCE BACK IN the cabin, Andy decided to explore. She’d had very little sleep last night, but she hated the very thought of sleep these days. Too many nightmares.
She was curious about Covenant Falls now. Curious about the cabin and its owner and past occupants. She’d been stationed in Texas and had visited Colorado during leaves, but she’d never heard of Covenant Falls. She wanted to know more about her mysterious benefactor who would offer a very comfortable cabin to a stranger.
She checked out the kitchen fridge and cupboard. As Mr. Rowland said, both were filled. There was a small room in back with a washer and dryer.
Then she went through the living room to a large bedroom. The bed was a double and looked comfortable. The headboard
