He forced a smile for Susie. “Sure,” he said. “Want to go for a walk on the beach?”
Though the fall day was surprisingly hot, there was a good breeze off the water. They fell into step and walked along the narrow strip of sand in silence.
He glanced over at her eventually. “You going to tell me why you wanted to talk to me?”
She sighed. “It’s Mack,” she said, then added in frustration, “It’s always Mack. The man is going to drive me insane.”
Will couldn’t keep himself from chuckling. “I think the effect is mutual.”
Susie waved off the comment. “Come on. Mack’s oblivious, and lately it’s been even worse than usual.”
“What do you mean?”
She paused and faced Will. “Can I be honest with you?”
“Of course.”
“And you won’t go running to Mack?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Okay, then,” she said, and drew in a deep breath. “I’m crazy about him. I have been for years.”
“Now there’s a news flash,” Will said before he could stop himself. He met her gaze and smiled. “I’m sorry. You’re not telling me anything I haven’t known before.”
She sighed. “I figured. I guess I knew it wasn’t a secret, but I kind of hoped I could pretend seeing him was no big deal. That way, if he walked away, which he’s eventually bound to do, my pride would still be intact.”
“Why are you so certain he’d leave you?”
“Because that’s what Mack does,” she said pragmatically. “He leaves. He thinks he’s just like his father, the sleaze who left before he was born. He’s spent his whole life proving it to himself by dating one woman after another and dumping every one of them. I think there were even a few along the way that he actually liked, but he didn’t stick around long enough to see if the relationship would work. I watched him do it all through high school and college. Even though I had feelings for him, I vowed it wasn’t going to happen to me.”
“So you decided to be his friend,” Will concluded.
Susie nodded. “Men might leave women, but they usually keep their friends. Just look at you, Jake and Mack. You’re like the three musketeers or something. I wanted that kind of relationship with Mack, one that would last. I figured if it was easy, with no demands or expectations, maybe he’d relax.”
“And finally notice you?” Will suggested gently.
Susie nodded, her expression miserable. “A while back, when Shanna first came to town and got involved with Kevin, she told me she thought Mack was crazy about me. I actually started to get my hopes up. I figured, hey, if an objective observer noticed something, then maybe it was true.” She sighed. “But nothing changed. Now I don’t know if it ever will. It’s like we’re locked in this pattern and we’re both too scared to risk changing it.”
She gave him a hopeful look. “Do you think it’s possible to ever break out of the friend mold? Or have I doomed myself by making such a big deal of the fact that I’d never date Mack?”
Will thought about her question. “In some ways, I do think it’s harder to go from being friends to being something more. If the friendship matters, no one wants to take the risk of changing things.”
“Tell me about it,” she said gloomily.
“But here’s the thing,” Will told her. “If you don’t ask for more or expect more from Mack—if you just stick with the status quo—will you ever be truly happy? Sometimes you have to take the risk of losing it all to get what you really want.”
Susie blinked at the question, then grinned. “That sounds a lot like the pot calling the kettle black,” she said. “Have you ever asked yourself the same thing about Jess?”
Will frowned. He’d asked himself that very thing just days earlier. He wasn’t about to discuss it with Susie, though. “I thought we were talking about you and Mack.”
“We can spend a couple of minutes on you, while we’re at it,” she said. “It’ll make me feel better to focus on someone else’s mixed-up love life.”
“Not necessary,” Will said adamantly. “You’ve told me why you and Mack got stuck in this nonrelationship thing, and I get it. Up until now you’ve been content to leave things alone. What’s changed?”
To his dismay, tears welled up in her eyes. “I don’t know,” she said. “The last couple of weeks, it’s as if he’s been backing away, and I have no idea why.” She met Will’s gaze. “If I lose him as a friend, it’ll be pretty ironic, don’t you think? Especially after all I’ve done to make sure that’s enough for me. I mean, I’ve been lying to myself for years now that being friends is better than nothing. Other guys have asked me out, but I wasn’t interested. Mack was always around, so who had time for someone else, anyway?” She shook her head. “I am such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot,” Will soothed. “You made a choice that seemed right at the time.”
“Well, obviously it was a lousy choice.”
Will resisted the urge to smile. “Really? You and Mack have been pretty tight for years now. You’re so close, you practically complete each other’s sentences, just the way a married couple does. Surely that’s worth something.” He met her gaze. “Have you tried to talk to him about this?”
“Not really,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to make too big a deal out of it.”
Will saw the trap she’d created for herself. Friends gave each other space. They didn’t crowd each other or sit down and have deep relationship talks.
“It’s quite a dilemma, isn’t it, trying to maintain the illusion that Mack doesn’t really matter to you?” Will said, regarding her with sympathy.
“It sucks,” she said candidly.
“Maybe it’s time to stop pretending,” Will suggested.
“I don’t know if I can. I don’t want to lose him, Will.”
“But you don’t have him now,” he pointed out.
“He’s my friend now,” she corrected.
“Then you should be able to go to him and ask what’s going on,” Will told her.
“I thought maybe you could just tell me, and then I’d know what he needs from me.”
Will laughed. “If I promised to keep your confidence, what makes you think I’d violate his?”
Her expression brightened. “Then something is going on and you do know what it is,” she said triumphantly.
“Talk to Mack,” he advised.
“You won’t even give me a hint?”
