by leaving the city with me? That’s why you changed your mind about coming?’ Finn said, his voice deep in the darkness.
‘Yeah. I needed to leave and you gave me a damn good excuse.’ Would he think she was a coward? That she was being immature? Why did it matter so much that he didn’t judge her?
Finn pulled his legs in and sat up. ‘So why don’t you want to meet her? Why don’t you want to hear why she left?’
That question again, Callie thought.
‘Because it doesn’t matter! Because nothing she can say—and, trust me, I’ve thought of every excuse she could come up with—would make me feel better, would make me understand. I was seven, Finn. Seven! I needed a mother. Especially since my dad dealt with my mother leaving by hooking up with younger and younger women. They were mostly after his money, and weren’t interested in his little daughter hanging around. Seb was twelve, and he dealt with her leaving by withdrawing into his sports and computers.’
Callie heard her voice rise and made a conscious effort to remain calm.
‘If it wasn’t for Rowan, who lived next door, and Yasmeen—’
‘Who is she?’
‘Our housekeeper—and I suppose my real mother in every way that counted,’ Callie explained. She pushed her hair off her forehead and shoulders. ‘Look, I know I sound harsh, but I can’t meet Laura. I don’t want to …’
‘Don’t want to meet her, like her, risk being hurt by her again?’
‘Yeah.’
He got it—he understood. Damn. There were those fuzzies in her tummy again. She could get used to those. Not a good idea.
Finn rested his forearms on his thighs and looked up at her, sparks from the fire reflected in his eyes. Callie, feeling as if he’d taken a peek into part of her soul, thought that he’d heard enough from her, so she turned the spotlight onto him.
‘So, you mentioned your stepbrothers? How many do you have?’
Finn half smiled. ‘Three. All younger. They’re driving me nuts lately.’
‘Why?’
‘They were, to put it mildly, upset that the wedding was called off. As I said, because they know me, and know that I never go back on my word, they assumed that the break-up was Liz’s idea. I haven’t bought food for two weeks because someone always pitches up at my house with beer and take-out.’
‘Nobody rocked up that night I had dinner at your house,’ Callie pointed out.
‘I sent them a group message while I was upstairs and told them I would kick their ass if they didn’t give me a night on my own.’ Finn pulled a face. ‘The next night I had all three of them coming to check up on me and had to spend half the evening reassuring them that I was okay.’
‘And are you?’ Callie asked. ‘Okay?’
‘Mostly. I’m glad to still be on this assignment, working. Glad of the distraction that is you.’
Callie smiled at that. Whatever they had cooking it was, she had to admit, a hell of a distraction. ‘It’s surprising that your younger brothers are so protective of you.’
‘We’re protective of each other. They’re my brothers. My mum married James when I was fourteen and he already had the boys. Mum died when I was seventeen, and James acted as my legal guardian for a while.’
‘Where’s your real dad?’
‘Who the hell knows? Jail? Dead? In a gutter somewhere?’ Finn said harshly.
He rubbed a hand over his face, and when he finally met her eyes she made sure that her face was impassive.
‘Pretend I didn’t say that, please? I never talk about him and I have no idea where that came from.’
Maybe their bottle of wine had contained some magic truth potion, because she’d had no intention of telling him about Laura. Or maybe it was the fact that they were absolutely, utterly alone under an African night sky …
Or maybe it was because they liked talking to each other.
And she thought that she had had a messed-up childhood. God, they were a pair, Callie thought.
Finn cleared his throat before speaking again. ‘I’ve always protected my brothers—yanked them out of scrapes, had their back. I’ve been their rock, their calm in the storm. This break-up has been the first crisis I’ve had that they’ve witnessed and they want to be there for me.’
‘And your stepdad? How does he feel about your break-up?’
Finn shrugged and kept his shoulders up around his ears. ‘Dunno. He died about six months ago.’
‘I’m so sorry, Finn. You two were close?’
‘Yeah. He was the best man I ever knew …’ Finn cleared his throat. ‘I adored him.’
God. He had a waste-of-space father, a dead mother, and his stepdad, whom he’d loved, had recently passed away. He’d broken up with his fiancée two weeks before his wedding. Was there anything else that life could throw at the poor guy?
Enough now, she told the universe, annoyed on his behalf. Seriously. Just enough, already.
Callie leaned forward and touched his knee in silent support. He hadn’t stopped grieving, she realised. Probably wouldn’t for a while. Losing his fiancée had undoubtedly pulled all those old feelings of grief over losing his stepfather to the surface again.
Oh, yeah, there was far too much emotion swirling around for them to sleep together. Because there was no chance that sex would be about just sex after a conversation like this. For her it would all be tangled up with the urge to soothe, to comfort. And to him she would be just a distraction …
Thinking that it would be prudent, and smart, to close this conversation down, Callie pushed her chair back and stood up. ‘I’d really like a shower. I feel grubby.’
Finn stared up at her for the longest time before lifting one broad shoulder. ‘Sure.’
Callie looked at the stairs that led to the dark bathroom area below them and bit her lip. ‘Is there a torch anywhere?’
Finn stood up. ‘I’ll go down and light some lamps for you. There’s a big tub on the deck if you’d prefer a bath.’
A hyena whooped in the distance and Callie shivered. ‘Not that brave. I’m not entirely sure if my standards of animal-proof are the same as the lodge’s, so I’d rather not take the chance.’
‘The bath is at least twenty foot off the ground, Hollis,’ Finn told her, smiling.
‘There might a genius leopard out there who has the situation sussed,’ Callie suggested, only half joking.
‘You’re a nut,’ Finn said with on a shake of his head and a grin. ‘Go get your PJs while
