Dancer. Then I had a class with Kyle Weatherford and he said he had tickets to see Luke Bryan in Austin and wanted to know if I’d like to go with him. I said I would love to see Luke Bryan, and Brandon heard me and got his feelings hurt. But he didn’t hear the rest of what I said to Kyle. It was the same thing I told Brandon—I couldn’t go because I had other plans. I couldn’t find Brandon to explain.”
She sighed. “This is a long story. Are you sure you want to hear all of it?”
“Every word.”
“Brandon texted me about ten and wanted to know the real reason I wouldn’t go out with him and I explained what happened. He said he wanted to talk to me and I said we could do that tomorrow. Then he said he was at the cattle guard and wanted to talk now. So I put on my clothes and met him outside. It’s as simple as that.”
Falcon leaned forward, proud of himself for remaining calm. “From the looks of your hair and your blouse, I’d say things got a little heated.”
“Oh, Dad.” She came around the desk and sat on the edge and he noted she had on her bunny slippers. “I don’t want to talk about this with you. It’s boy stuff.”
“You’ll soon be eighteen years old, a woman, and I realize that. I just have one question. Are you having sex with Brandon?”
She hung her head. Her hair covered her face and he couldn’t see what she was thinking. “No. He wants to, but I’m nervous.”
At her pitiful voice, all this anger left him. Now he had to be a father, and this part of parenting scared the crap out of him. “Why?”
She flipped back her hair. “I don’t want to be like my mother and get pregnant in high school. I want to make better choices and I want to be in love.”
Damn. He must’ve done something right. She was saying everything he wanted to hear. “Your mother and I were in love. I want you to know that.”
“Then why did she leave?”
“I can’t speak for your mother, but the pregnancy was rough on her and she had problems afterward. Problems I should have been more aware of. I regret that now.”
“If she loved us, she would’ve come back.”
“Oh, baby.” He pulled her onto his lap as if she was three years old. “She did love us.”
“No, she didn’t.” Eden snuggled closer into him. “Do you ever wonder if she’s alive?”
“Yeah.” She is. How do I tell you that? He thought it best to change the subject for now.
“So, do you love this Brandon?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I like it when he touches me and other times it makes me feel uncomfortable.”
“If it makes you uncomfortable—”
“It’s just... I like kissing him and all, but when it gets really heavy, I get nervous and scared and that’s when Brandon gets mad.”
“Don’t ever let a boy pressure you into sex.”
“Did you pressure my mother?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to lie, but since his daughter was being so honest he had to do the same. “Yes.”
“Why do boys do that?”
“It’s hard to explain, baby, especially to my own daughter. Why don’t I make an appointment with the pediatrician and you can ask her these difficult questions. I’m sure she would be happy to go over this with you.”
“The pediatrician? Dad, seriously? I’m seventeen years old and I know about the birds and the bees. Remember we talked about it when I got my period and you took me to see the pediatrician then so she could explain intimate stuff that made you sweat?”
He remembered it vividly and he had been sweating bullets.
“I know about sex. My friends and I talk about it all the time. Kelley and Michelle are on birth control, but I’m not ready for that. Sex...well, it just makes me nervous.”
“You can talk to Rachel or Lacey. They’re in the family now.”
“I don’t need to talk to anyone. It’s about me and the way I feel.”
“Grandma is always here if you need her.”
“Dad, Grandma would really freak out.”
Falcon smiled. “Grandma’s a little old-fashioned, but I’m sure she would answer any questions you have.”
“Forget I said anything,” she mumbled.
“When it comes to boys, I want you to be very sure of what you want. I know most girls your age are sexually active, but you have to understand, as your dad, I’d rather you waited until you’ve found someone special.”
“I’ll probably die a virgin.”
He squeezed her. “I doubt that.”
She rested her head in the crook of his shoulder. “Daddy, I don’t want to go away to college. I want to stay here with you, Grandma, Grandpa, the uncs and Zane.”
At that little-girl’s voice, Falcon knew he’d failed as a parent. He’d protected and sheltered Eden, as his mother and brothers had. Now she was afraid to leave the nest.
“Is this what barrel racing is about?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Baby, just about every kid wants to go to college. It’s lots of fun, I’m told. Parties, staying up as late as you want, being an adult and making your own decisions.”
“Kelley is going and so is Michelle. They can hardly wait.”
Besides her conflicting thoughts about sex, something else was holding Eden back, keeping her from enjoying these years.
“What is it, baby? Why can’t you enjoy this with your friends?”
“Because...because when I go, you’ll be all alone.”
“What are you talking about? My brothers, Mom, Grandpa and Zane are here and enough work to keep me busy for the rest of my life.”
“But it’s always been just you and me and when I graduate, I won’t be here anymore in case you need me.”
“Eden, baby, that’s what life is about—changes. Nothing stays the same. I want you to grow up, be independent, but most of all I want you to be happy. And maybe every now and then you can come visit dear ol’ dad.”
Eden giggled and then became silent. “Do you remember that book you bought me when I was a kid about a genie granting wishes? I wanted to find a genie in a bottle so she could grant me my wish, and my wish was that my mother would come home.”
A lump clogged Falcon’s throat.
