to Lord Simon. Finally, they made their way out of the hall, through the corridors to the door that led to the courtyard. The air, fresh and cool as befitted a spring morning, greeted her as she stepped out of the door.
“She means well,” Elise began to explain to her cousin, but the frown on Petronilla’s face stopped her from apologizing for her mother’s behavior again.
“Lord Simon will not allow her to command you so, now that you are married,” Petronilla declared forthrightly.
Elise nodded, not fully convinced that a simple marriage ceremony would bring her mother’s controlling ways to an end. But, if being Simon’s wife meant she would make her own decisions, she welcomed whatever must happen between them as a small price to pay.
Petronilla took her hand and patted it. “Lord Simon will be a kind husband to you, Elise. Alianor said…” Her cousin paused, realizing her error and looked across the courtyard waiting for the awkward moment to end. “I cannot believe I said that to you, and on your wedding day. Pray thee, forgive me?”
At first mortified that her cousin mentioned her husband’s leman, Elise then realized that she, Lady Alianor, was the one person who could answer her questions about what to expect in her marriage bed. Certainly she could not speak to the woman who, in spite of being the noble-born widow of one of Simon’s vassals, saw to her husband’s private needs. She needed someone else…someone like Petronilla.
“There is no reason to apologize, Petronilla. My lord husband’s attentions to the lady are not a secret here.”
“Still, Elise, ‘twas thoughtless of me to bring her to your attention.”
Elise turned and took her cousin’s hand, tugging her closer. Looking around first, to make certain that no one could overhear her words, she said, “To gain my pardon, I seek a small service from you.”
“What service, Elise?” Petronilla asked, her hesitancy obvious.
“I wish you to speak of what Lady Alianor has told you about my husband.”
Petronilla’s otherwise pale face blushed deep red as she sputtered and gasped at the request. So, Lady Alianor had shared many details with her sister-by-marriage about Lord Simon. Good. Mayhap Elise would learn much before being faced with the reality of her husband in their bed?
“Nay, Elise! Alianor has told me nothing, truly, nothing.”
“Petronilla, you are my friend. Would you send me forth to my husband’s bed knowing only what my mother has told me? That I should lie quietly and accept anything he does. That I must refuse him nothing. Not knowing what he will do to me is worse than any suffering I have faced.”
“Still, Elise. You are a maiden. He expects you to know little of bedplay. He is a kind man…”
Elise dropped her cousin’s hand and walked away. Failure to please Simon was not an option for her this night. She must be ready to be his wife, to keep him happy, so that he would never regret, or question for a moment, his decision to stand by their betrothal and marriage. How could she do that without knowing?
And more than for those reasons, Elise had begun to fall in love with the kind man she met on her arrival. Every preparation for her comfort had been seen to and every request was fulfilled. He greeted her brother and assigned him to duties and training, taking over the responsibilities her father should have accepted. But mostly, although he appeared to be a large, gruff man, he was ever kind to her and solicitous of her feelings when they ate together or conversed. He tried to make her feel as though she was already the lady of his lands and, when he could circumvent her mother’s oversight, he’d even quietly offered his affections to her.
She stopped by a stone wall that separated the main yard from the chapel, and took a breath. Petronilla joined her there and put a hand on her shoulder.
“You are the only one who can help me, Petra,” she said. “I know he cares for Alianor and that he is happy when he is with her. If I know what he likes, what pleases him, I can make certain to keep him happy.” She met her cousin’s gaze. “I must give him no reason to turn from our marriage. Too much and too many are at risk.”
Although the Church sought to gain control over marriages and thereby control more of the wealth and power of the nobles and royalty of the lands, many nobles married as they pleased, some taking concubine wives in addition to the wives the Church recognized. If she was unsuccessful in pleasing Simon or providing him with sons and heirs and if he then sought relief from his vows, her family would not only be in disgrace, but would be destitute and destroyed.
She thought Petra was not going to answer her, then her cousin began to speak. The words poured out quickly, but never did the two women look at each other.
“Alianor said Lord Simon likes lusty, passionate women who…who…who are neither sheepish nor quiet during their bouts of bedplay.”
Elise lost her breath at such a description. Even trying to sort out the possible meanings made her heart pound and heat rise in her cheeks.
Petra’s words seemed to confirm the things she’d overheard some of the female servants shamelessly discussing after Lady Alianor had walked by them a few days ago. But Elise could not believe such things actually happened between a man and his wife. Yet Petra was not done.
“He likes women who…who…who use their hands…and their…their mouths on him and his…privy parts.” Petra still did not meet her eyes.
“Oh!” Elise whispered as she put her hands on her fiery cheeks to cool them. Did women do such things? She was more confused now than before she’d gained the information about her husband’s preferences from Petronilla. Hands? Mouth? Privy parts? Just as the servants had gossiped? Surely not!
Even though such thoughts shocked Elise, a frisson of some unrecognized heat pierced through her. Such scandalous things spoke of passion and lust, something forbidden and yet somehow alluring to her, even in her innocence. An ache began deep within her.
“Do you remember catching your brother with the laundry maid in the stables, Elise?” Petra reached for her hands and tried to tug them free. “Elise? Do you remember what we heard them saying? What he asked her to do? It must be that!”
“Nay!”
She was not completely ignorant in the way in which a man and a woman joined, for many times coupling occurred in places more public than private within this keep and even at her family’s. But coupling and this…shocking revelation…were simply too different to be considered. Why would a man want such a thing? Did Lord Simon truly expect it of her? Shaking her head at the images that now crept into her thoughts, she dropped her hands away from her face.
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