so that he wonât have to live.â
She imagined the danger that Vidar described and couldnât control the anger and fear that made her hands shake. Had he even once thought of her and considered making a future together? If heâd settled himself in a manor, even across the sea, he could have come for her. Her father would have put up some resistance, but he wouldnât stop her if Gunnar could prove that he could provide for her. But Gunnar hadnât done that because he didnât want her. Heâd said as much before and it was even clearer now. âWhy send him to me? What does Eirik suppose that I can do?â
Vidar shrugged. âYou are the only one with some connection to him, the only one who can bring him back, according to Eirik.â
âThat makes no sense. If that were true, he would have come back long ago.â There was a time she might have agreed with Vidar, but Gunnar had proved her wrong.
Vidar shrugged again.
âGo. Eat your fill and then take your rest. You must be beyond exhaustion.â She waved him to the pot on the fire.
* * *
âWhere is my mead?â Gunnar grumbled and felt for the ever-present barrel, but the bedding beside him was empty. âVidar!â His voice, hoarse from disuse, carried through the hovel where he had been dumped, but no one answered. Opening his eyes to the meagre light that filtered in, he could barely make out the shadowed opening of the alcove where he lay. Uncertain of the distance, he pushed himself up on a shaky elbow and reached out. The opening floated before him, out of reach, but if it were feet or mere inches away he could not fathom.
A sweat breaking out on his brow, he lay back down and closed his eyes to wait for the sudden nausea to subside. Images swam across his mind. If they were from the past days, weeks, or hours, he didnât know. The faces of Magnus and Eirik came to him and it seemed they were saying something important, but he had no memory of their words. He remembered opening his eyes to Vidar replenishing his mead on several occasions, but the world might as well have been black behind him, because he had not seen past the boyâs face. He did remember Kadlin, another dream in a long line that featured her. Clearly, she was not a goddess because he was not at Freyjaâs table. If this was Sessrumnir then the goddess needed lessons on hospitality. A fallen man should not be without his mead.
âGunnar? Are you awake?â
He opened his eyes to see that his tiny world had righted itself and stopped floating. Vidar stood framed in the narrow arch of the opening. Nay, he finally admitted, he was not a fallen man. He was sure that a fallen man wouldnât feel this much pain. His entire body ached from the roots of his hair to the bottom of his feet. His leg throbbed, with the pain seeming to centre around his left knee and shin. âWhere is the mead? Itâs not here.â
Vidarâs face was grim as he set the humble, wooden bowl that he held, with its single candle, on the stool beside Gunnarâs bed. The flame wavered, causing a drop of fat to sizzle where it fell in the bottom of the bowl. Vidar glanced down the passageway, running a hand over the back of his neck before looking back at Gunnar. âThereâs no more mead. I can bring you ale or fresh water. Iâve just brought it back myself from the stream.â
âNo more mead?â As long as he could remember there was mead. Every jarl kept a steady supply and it was a practice Eirik had adopted. Even his uncle Einar, who spent months at a time in the countryside waging battle, managed to keep a supply of mead to give out after battles. The men expected it after victory. Of course ale was often given out, as well, but generally to the lesser warriors, the younger ones who had yet to prove themselves.
Gunnar tried to sit up again and noted how his forearms trembled with the effort. How long had he been unconscious? Had he been injured? Aye, his leg throbbed with pain. He searched his memory for what had happened, but his last clear thought was forming the battle plan with Magnus and his men. But it seemed so long ago. Everything else was a fuzzy, disjointed mass of memories that he couldnât piece together. He looked around the alcove and realised he couldnât place it. It didnât seem to belong in Eirikâs home.
There had been a boat. He was sure that he had travelled in a boat.
Then he realised something strange in what his brother had said. âWhy are you fetching water?â While Gunnar still thought of his brother as a boy, the truth was he was old enough now to fight in battle and work on a ship. Fetching water was a task relegated to little boys and servants.
Again, Vidar looked away rather than meet his gaze. Alarmed, Gunnar clenched his teeth to control the nearly overwhelming urge to bash an answer out of the boy. âWhat has happened, Vidar? Where have you taken me?â
âYou were injured. Eirik thought it best that you recover here.â
Gunnar looked down at himself to ascertain the truth of his brotherâs words. His entire body felt as though he had been pelted with stones, but his head ached the most. Nay, his leg ached the most. He raised a hand to prod a tenderness on his scalp. Pain lanced through him so sharply that he hissed and closed his eyes to the light dancing in his skull. Slowly opening them, he looked down his body to find other injuries. There were scrapes on his hands, but they seemed olderâmostly healed, in fact. The pain had gathered itself together and settled in his left leg, blazing through the appendage like fire. He threw off the blanket with disdain and stared.
The leg was at least twice as big as his right one, but if that was its true size or not he couldnât tell, because it was wrapped in a linen binding. Only when he grabbed the binding to pull it off did he realise that wooden splints had been put in to keep it stable. âBy the gods, what happened to me?â
âYour horse was killed in battle. When it fell, your leg was caught beneath. Do you not remember any of it?â
Gunnar searched his mind for some memory of that, but he shook his head. There was nothing coherent after discussing the plan for battle. âHow long ago?â
âWeeks, Brother.â
The pity in his brotherâs voice made rage crawl up his throat, but he bit back the bitter words that would have spewed out. It couldnât be that bad. If it had been weeks, then it could have healed by now, regardless of the pain. âMove, Iâm getting up.â He waved his hand to push Vidar aside.
âNay, you shouldnât get up yet.â Vidar moved to keep him down, but Gunnar swung his right leg over the edge of the bed and grabbed a hold of his brotherâs tunic to pull himself up.
âIâve a need to take a piss and I wonât do it here like an invalid.â But the words were barely out of his mouth when his weight moving forward pulled his injured leg off the bed and his foot crashed to the floor. Pain like heâd never felt sliced up his leg and reverberated throughout the limb. His breath caught. A strong wave of nausea rolled over him as darts of light flashed before his eyes. Just as he felt himself falling to the floor, he saw a vision of Kadlin. She stood behind Vidar, eyes wide and arms out as if to help him, but thatâs all he saw before he fell unconscious.
When Gunnar next awoke it was to the warm, soothing strokes of a washcloth moving slowly across his chest. A woman hummed and the soft sound would have lulled him back
