stomach and her heart was beating very, very fast. It was more like the way she remembered feeling on her first day in the new school after Yancy became her new mother, because she knew something big and exciting was going to happen and she wasn’t sure whether it would be good or bad.
“It’s okay, honey,” her mother whispered, and Laila nodded and reached for her hand. She felt like she might throw up or wet her pants, but that was so babyish she didn’t want to say so.
Just inside the door, she stopped suddenly and couldn’t keep from making a sound. It wasn’t very loud, but her mother and Akaa Hunt both heard. They stopped and looked at her.
“What is it, sweetie?” her mother asked.
Laila frowned and wrinkled her nose. “I smell something.”
“That would be supper,” Akaa Hunt said. “I hope.”
“It smells delicious,” Laila’s mother said and squeezed her hand in a way that meant remember your manners! “Doesn’t it?”
“It smells like...something I remember,” Laila said and added with a shrug, “but I don’t know exactly what.” She took a deep breath, let go of her mother’s hand and walked into the room. “I remember this, too. We used to sit on pillows when I lived with Ammi, when I was little.”
Behind her she heard her mother let out a breath and laugh a little bit. “Yes, I guess you did,” she said.
But her voice sounded quivery, and Laila wondered if maybe her mother’s stomach had butterflies, too.
* * *
“I think,” Yancy said, taking a deep breath, “Laila and I both could use a bathroom, if you—”
“Of course.” Hunt’s voice and manner were crisply formal. “Just go through there, into the courtyard. Second door down on the left is the women’s quarters. You should find everything you need. If not, let me know and I’ll have Mehri get it for you.”
“Mehri?”
“My housekeeper.”
“Oh—of course. Laila? Shall we wash up before supper?”
Laila looked up at her, then reached for her hand in a way that felt oddly as though she were offering reassurance and guidance to Yancy, rather than the other way around.
In the magnificently tiled bathroom, Yancy watched her daughter slowly and methodically wash her hands, arms and face, carefully rubbing the soap into foam, squishing the foam between her fingers, rubbing it over her forearms...
How silent she is. She should be chattering away, nonstop, asking one question after another, chirping like a little bird...
She cleared her throat. “Honey, how are you doing? Are you okay?”
Laila watched her hands, washing, washing. “Yes,” she said, but it lacked conviction.
“We had a pretty exciting day, didn’t we?” Yancy said carefully, wanting to go to her, wanting to touch her, though something held her back. “When those men...um. When they tried to...” When they tried to...do what? What did they want with us? I still don’t know. She caught another breath. “I was a little scared. Were you scared?”
“Well, I was...” Laila clasped her hands together and appeared to be fascinated by the foam squishing between her interlaced fingers. “But then I saw Akaa Hunt and I wasn’t scared anymore.”
Yancy felt a chill shiver through her. Breathless, she said, “Really? Why not?”
Laila’s shoulders lifted...fell. “Because I knew he would keep us safe. Like always.”
* * *
It was evening, which in recent times had become one of Hunt’s favorite times of the day. In his experience, most bad things seemed to happen at dawn. By nightfall, whatever was going to happen had happened, for better or worse. The world was shutting down, taking a breather. Even the wind stopped for dusk.
There was that, and the fact that lately it had begun to remind him of evenings when he was growing up, when the chores had all been done and the animals were quiet, well fed and bedding themselves down for the night. Dad would be out on the front porch having a smoke and surveying his kingdom while he waited to be called in to supper, and Mom banging things around in the kitchen, and good smells drifting through the windows. He remembered watching his dad and wishing he could be more like him, knowing he wasn’t and never would be as good a man as Charles Grainger, and all he really wanted was to be someplace far, far away from the farm and the whole state of Nebraska.
As an adult he’d worked hard to make sure the wish came true, and he had no regrets. Except maybe that—having no regrets—was something he regretted.
Here in the courtyard in Old Kabul, the air smelled of cooking—the meal they’d just eaten—and of flowers rather than hay or freshly turned earth or manure, and some kind of bird was singing a twilight song in one of the trees. Unlike his father, Hunt didn’t smoke—never had—and they’d already had supper. And the tiny kingdom he surveyed wasn’t his. But he was waiting. Waiting, not to be called in, but maybe—almost certainly—to be called to account.
He’d counted down the minutes before life-and-death missions with less trepidation.
He owed Yancy big-time, he knew, an explanation being the least of it. Explaining the facts wouldn’t be that hard, but he had a feeling “just the facts” wasn’t going to be enough for her, not this time. She was going to want to know what was going on with him, the why of it all, and how was he going to explain that when he wasn’t sure he knew himself. And even if he did know, he wasn’t clear on how much he was willing to tell her. Reticence was a hard habit to break. Knowledge was power, and giving that up to anyone, even the woman raising his child... He wasn’t sure he was ready for that. Or if he ever would be.
That realization made him inexpressibly sad.
The carved door behind him opened and his skin shivered with awareness. He turned and watched without comment as Yancy came into the courtyard from the part of the house that had traditionally been the women’s quarters. She was clutching a shawl around her shoulders. Because of the coolness of the evening, he wondered, or merely a case of nerves?
It surprised him a little that he felt the same purely physical, gut-tightening attraction to her he’d had almost from the first moment he’d laid eyes on her—not during the rescue, naturally, but later, back at the base. Sitting across from her at that table, looking into her eyes, the whole world around him fading away until it was just him and her... He’d known then he’d have her, eventually. He’d never doubted it. Just as he’d never doubted she’d be there whenever he came in off a mission, needing her.
He hadn’t looked too far ahead, back then. Never given much thought to a time when she wouldn’t be there. Then he’d put his daughter in her care, and everything had changed.
He’d thought he knew her pretty well, well enough at least to know she had nerves of steel. Ordinarily. But she’d been silent and withdrawn during the meal—with him, anyway—and he had an idea there was a lot churning around in that red head of hers. Because silence wasn’t a normal state for Yancy Malone.
“She’s asleep,”
