to push them down past his hips. Why didn’t it bother him to strip bare before her? The man was a heathen. They were all heathens.
‘Aye, it was about you. He asked why I was keeping you for myself instead of presenting you to him like a good son should.’
Merewyn closed her eyes against the unspeakable vision that raised in her mind. ‘What did you say?’
She gave him a moment to answer, but when nothing was forthcoming she looked to him, making sure to keep her gaze from lowering. He watched her with an intensity she’d never known before.
‘Obviously I denied his request.’ His voice was laced with sarcasm, but his eyes were solemn.
‘Why?’ With that one word, his face closed. Merewyn knew she’d get nothing out of him that night and averted her eyes.
‘You’ve already begun to address me as “my lord” and that should continue. The state of this chamber will be your responsibility, but we’ll talk more of your duties and my expectations when we return.’
Merewyn studiously maintained her diverted gaze, despite the shock of that statement. ‘When we return from where? When are we going?’
‘I have to go on a short trip to visit a neighbouring jarl. No more than a week or so. I leave the day after tomorrow. You’ll come with me unless you’d prefer to stay here alone.’
It wasn’t really a choice. ‘I’ll go.’
He crossed in front of her again, completely unashamed in his nakedness, to reach into a chest at the end of the bed. She was forced to acknowledge him when he offered the woollen blanket to her.
‘You can sleep on the fur.’ Eirik indicated the dark brown bear pelt that was nearest the bed on the floor. It still had its claws.
She clutched the blanket to her chest as he walked away and couldn’t help the glimpse she got of his backside. Solid muscle worked smoothly beneath his skin. That flare of foreign longing, exciting and unwelcome, ignited within her and shamed her into looking away. She waited for him to climb into bed before she sat her bowl down on a shelf and took her place upon the fur.
‘Oh, girl?’
Her eyes shot open.
‘If you think to attack me with one of those weapons, I’ll stop you and you’ll spend the rest of your nights tethered. Think hard if it’s worth that risk.’
It wasn’t worth the risk. Even if she hurt him, she had the others to contend with and an entire ocean to cross to make it home. There had to be another way, but she wouldn’t tell him that. Let him wonder if he’d wake up to a dagger in his chest.
She thought she’d lie there contemplating the change in her living situation, but she fell asleep almost immediately. It was a deep sleep, the like of which she’d not experienced since she’d been taken.
* * *
Eirik did not fall asleep easily. Despite the fact that he was exhausted and in his own bed for the first time in nearly two years, the slave’s face haunted him. Hilla had managed an extraordinary transformation. The chestnut silk of her hair shone with health and had reflected hints of red from the fire in the hall. Highlights he hadn’t noticed in the grey light of the crossing. Her face wasn’t as drawn as when they’d arrived, but her cheekbones were still too sharp under her skin. Nothing a few days of rest and proper meals couldn’t fix. He’d even been pleased that she seemed to have regained some of her colour.
But none of that explained why she disturbed him. It didn’t begin to explain what happened to him when he looked at her. The way his body tightened with the unexpected need to possess her and protect her at the same time. The way he’d wanted to stand up in front of everyone in the hall and proclaim that she was his. Or the primal anger that had gripped him when his father had laughingly asked for her and the internal struggle he’d had to beat it down.
The girl was his. He wanted to possess her and liked the idea of her awaiting his pleasure entirely more than he should. But he couldn’t possess her. Couldn’t even let his mind take him down the path of imagining what it would be like to explore her body. It would be too easy to pluck her from her pallet and push her underneath him in bed if he let his mind wander there.
But even the mere thought caused his blood to thicken and settle low in his groin. He wanted her. There was no denying anymore that he wanted her in the primal way a man lusted for a woman. It was a visceral urge that gripped him in its tight fist and refused to let go. He knew then it was no demon that had possessed him to take her. It was his own dark needs—his desire for her.
Shame reared its ugly head, the usual complement to his damnable lust. To want any woman was not something he permitted, but to want her—a slave who could neither fight him nor accept him—made him angry. He’d known what it was to have no control of his physical being before. He wouldn’t, couldn’t, force that on another. Had never even considered it before now. Before her. He never lost control, never let himself go so that he was at the mercy of his body’s demands.
Eirik knew then that he should have left her behind. There had been no need to take her from her home. Aye, she’d been a gift, but gifts could be rejected. The girl had clearly wanted to stay, despite the bruises. Perhaps she would have been safer.
He rolled to his stomach to press the uncomfortable tightness of his erection against the blankets. He forced his mind to go black and his breathing to stay even. The lust would not overtake him. He would fight it.
The nightmares started near dawn. At first the blackness consumed him and all was quiet. But it wasn’t a peaceful silence. It was heavy and expectant, like the stillness of the sky before the torrential downpour of a storm. The air sat heavy upon his chest and threatened to choke him with its liquid weight. Eirik struggled, but was only pulled down farther for all his effort.
When the screams began he jerked with surprise. He hadn’t heard them in years, but he recognised them immediately. They tore from his own lips and filled him with shame even as they released some of the pain tearing through him. But this time, he was in control. Instead of allowing the vision to take hold of him, he fought it. Moments later, he opened his eyes to the darkness and breathed in the familiar air of the chamber.
The trembling of his limbs was nothing new. It happened with every other nightmare he’d ever had, and he knew it would subside eventually. His throat wasn’t raw, so he knew that the screams had been brief—this time. That was good. It was something.
He should have been grateful. There had been times when the nightmare trudged on for hours and he would awaken to Hilla or, when it was particularly bad, his friend Sweyn, dousing him with cold water. His throat would be inflamed and his voice rough from the screaming.
He wasn’t grateful. The nightmares were gone, beaten. He’d closed his mind to the events of the day years ago that had caused them. He’d thought that they couldn’t haunt him anymore. But they were back. Eirik breathed in and held the air in his lungs. He exhaled in a slow, steady breath of air that relaxed him and eased the trembling. Why were they back now?
Pushing up from the bed, he swung his feet over the side and hung his head until the pounding in his skull ceased. He sucked in a deep breath again and
