her. No doubt she’d forgotten his indiscretion long since—and he would like to meet her again, to finally lay to rest the ghost that had hovered in the back of his mind since that day.
There was determination in his step as he set out for Hanover Square. Samantha Scatterby was a big-hearted woman and he believed that his problem was solved. Once Sam took Miss Ross under her wing, he could set out for the country and speak to Cynthia about setting the date for their wedding.
Samantha had just returned from a shopping trip and was loaded with parcels. She enjoyed buying pretty trifles and had been refurbishing her wardrobe, which was much in need of it. Now, some six months after she’d moved into the modest house in London, it was time she finally came out of her mourning and began to introduce some colours into her wardrobe once more. After all, Percy had been gone for many months now and he would not have wanted her to mourn him for ever. He’d told her she was not to wear black for him and she had done so only a short time before choosing grey or lilac gowns, both of which suited her well enough, but she wanted something new, something to make her feel that she was still young enough to find happiness again.
Tears pricked her eyes but she brushed them away. The time for weeping was over and she must begin to live again, truly live and not just go through the motions, which she had done for the first few weeks after his death.
Samantha was very fortunate in having many good friends who invited her to their houses and to the theatre, on picnics and drives and to splendid balls. She had no excuse to be lonely and her particular friend Lady Sally Seaton, was always telling her that she ought to marry again.
The reason she had never remarried was not because she lacked suitors. More than one gentleman had made his intentions known to her, but she always smiled and shook her head at them, offering a teasing smile and deflecting their advances with a light touch. It was her warmth and kindness that brought her so many friends, for she would never willingly hurt anyone, and had been an excellent military wife.
During those happy days on campaign with Percy, Samantha had been in her element, treating the young men under her husband’s command with gentle respect and consideration. If they’d had a problem they felt unable to communicate to their commanding officer it was to Sam they had come with their tales of woe, often of broken heart when the lady of their choice had let them down. Samantha had lost count of the times she’d seen a young man weep, wounded and frightened. They had spoken of their mothers and clung to her hand, and she’d done her best to comfort them, some as they lay dying.
That time had been a very precious part of her life. Grateful to the husband who was twice her age, she’d loved him deeply in her way, and if that love had been more that of a daughter than a wife, she’d tried never to show it when he was affectionate towards her. Percy had given her a life and although she flirted on occasion with handsome young officers she would never have thought of betraying him.
Even when she fell desperately in love with one particular young officer, Brock, she had done nothing to give him encouragement. She’d smiled, offered advice and comfort when he was in despair, but never had she shown by a word or a look that his smile broke her heart. Until that dreadful last day, when she’d broken down in tears, because Brock was leaving and she would be alone with the husband who was dying so slowly and painfully, and she hadn’t known how to bear it.
And then he’d swept her into his arms and for one moment she’d clung to him, melting into his strong body, her longing and desire stripping her naked so that he must have seen her need. What must he have thought of a woman who would give herself so completely when her husband lay close to death?
Suddenly, revulsion at her own behaviour had shot through her and she’d wrenched away from him, knowing that what she was doing was despicable. Her husband lay upstairs, dying slowly, painfully but inevitably, and she had kissed another man; had almost been swept away to the point of madness. As she’d pushed him away she’d seen the look in his eyes—accusation and pain...
He’d turned and walked away, leaving her weeping inside, longing to call him back, to confess her love, but knowing she dared not. Samantha knew that he must condemn her, might think her of easy virtue. The memory of the look in his eyes had haunted her, and she’d known that he must hate her for she had hated herself for a long time.
The time for grieving was over, Samantha knew. Percy was dead. He had told her that she ought to marry again when he knew that death was near.
‘I can leave you enough to manage on, my dearest,’ he’d told her as he held her hand. ‘But you deserve so much more, Samantha. Marry a younger man this time—and one who can give you the finer things of life.’
She’d shaken her head and smiled at him, telling him that she wanted him to live and recover, but they’d both known he could not.
Percy was right, she ought to marry, but this time she wanted to be sure that she could feel more than just affection for the man she married.
Pushing away her troubled thoughts, Samantha took the pretty hat she’d purchased from its box and tried it on. It suited her English complexion. Cream straw with pink roses and ribbons, it became her well and would go with the white-muslin gown with the tiny pink motif she had recently had made, but not yet worn.
She had just taken off the hat and was tidying her hair when her maid knocked and then entered.
‘Begging your pardon, ma’am, but there is a gentleman downstairs wishing to see you.’
Samantha took the card and read it, and her heart jerked in surprise. How strange that Brock was here after all these months when they had not met. It was as if her memories had conjured him up. She trembled a little and almost refused to see him, but then she knew she could not do other than greet him as a friend. She could never thank him enough for all he’d done to help her when Percy was wounded. She must be friendly, but keep the joy she felt inside from showing in her face. Brock was a man and she knew that he had long forgotten her, because it was widely known he was engaged to be married to a beautiful young woman.
‘Yes, I see, Allie. Please tell him I shall be down in a few minutes. I shall receive him in the back parlour.’
* * *
‘Brock, how lovely to see you,’ Samantha cried as he was shown into the elegant parlour. He looked anxious and she went towards him impulsively, hands outstretched, caution lost as she felt his unease. ‘What brings you to me? What can I do for you?’
‘How are you, Mrs Scatterby? You look blooming, as lovely as ever.’
‘I am, as you see. My dearest Percy always told me I wasn’t to wear the willow if he died and he hated black so I have chosen grey and lilac, which suit me very well, and I live a perfectly satisfactory life. But I shall never forget those times when we were all together in Spain, before my darling...’ She shook her head and brushed away a tear. ‘None of that, it’s just seeing you again because Percy thought the world of you, and Phipps and Jack. You were his favourites of all his boys.’
‘And we worshipped him,’ Brock said. ‘Nothing will ever be like those times, Mrs Scatterby.’
‘I’m still Sam to you,’ she said gracefully, keeping her distance, but smiling. He must never guess how seeing him again after so long made her heart race and her body ache with the longing to be in his arms. He might have cared for her once, but it could only have been a young man’s infatuation. Had he still loved her, he would not be engaged to Miss Langton.
