awkwardness. Then he’d return to Austin, to the career he excelled at and the life he’d carved out for himself.
And Reagan was right. He wouldn’t look back.
* * *
REAGAN MATTHEWS MUSCLED her heavy-duty truck around the corner and shot down the highway as hard and fast as the GMC would go. She had to put distance between herself and that...that...man.
But it wasn’t just the man—it was the memories. She’d tried to put up a good front with Eli, to come across as both indifferent and controlled. Even she knew she’d botched it up and let emotion get the best of her. The apathy she’d dug for had been, at best, a shaky mirage. A strong gust of wind would have swept the bulk of it away, a million seeds of discontent that simply wanted answers.
But then he’d kissed her.
If her apathy hadn’t stood a chance against a simple breeze, it couldn’t hold out hope for survival when faced with the force of nature that was Elijah Covington.
He’d been the sole shareholder of her heart, the one thing she was sure she couldn’t live without. All those days spent at the river, just the two of them listening to music, talking, watching the sunset against the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. Then there were the nights. Hours spent stargazing and more hours spent discovering each other, learning the touches that elicited the most pleasure, the sensitive spots to kiss softly, the right time to love gently and the time to let it all go and be as wild and free as the world around them.
Then he’d left.
So many years she’d held out hope he’d come back. She’d been the talk of the town for so long, first with shared hope, then pity and then the fool who simply couldn’t let go of a man long gone. She’d never stopped loving him. She’d just stopped looking for him.
Reagan traced her numb lips with trembling fingers. Her chest had constricted to the point she couldn’t draw even half a breath. But her heart... She rubbed her sternum. Her heart hadn’t hurt this bad in years, and wasn’t that a testament to the way she’d lived her life.
She allowed reality to sink in, accepting that Eli’d had his arms around her again, and it had felt as familiar as it did foreign. A broken sob ripped out of her chest. She’d spent the past fourteen years trying not to drown in heartache and regrets. Then he showed up and, with a single kiss, pulled her under those dark emotional waters again. He acted as if it had meant as little to him as if he were ordering a cup of coffee to go.
When she’d broken away, she’d begun to sink.
Taking the first dirt road she came to, she slid to a stop, dust billowing around her. She rested her head on the steering wheel and rolled her forehead back and forth, trying to force her roiling thoughts to fall into place.
She’d have to repair the Blue Swallow’s landscaping. But the damage really hadn’t been her fault. Most people reacted poorly when a ghost ran them off the road.
Elijah Covington.
“Not a ghost,” she said, voice hoarse. “Just a memory. A...mistake.”
But that wasn’t true, either. Loving him had never been a mistake. Holding on to the faith he’d figure out he belonged here, too? That she was the one for him? Those were her major screwups, the two things that had given him the power to thoroughly and effectively decimate her heart.
Swiping her cowboy hat off, she cursed as she rewound her hair and tucked it under the hat. “It’s been fourteen years now, Matthews. You’ve moved on. You have a career and a life story, neither of which include him.”
She didn’t have much of a life at the moment, though. What she had were long, backbreaking days and endless, lonely nights.
In the passenger seat, her dog, Brisket, whined.
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Untucking her shirt, she wiped the sweat—not tears—off her face.
The iPad alarm sounded. She glanced at the screen with a physical wince. Almost nine. She was due at the Jensen place in a little less than an hour to draw up health papers on their steers before they shipped the yearlings to the livestock auction in nearby Dalhart, Texas.
Scrubbing her hands over her face, she forced a deep breath. All right. Eli had come home. So what? He was fast-flowing water under the charred remnants of a bridge burned long ago. She could avoid him for however long he was here. And knowing him, it would only be temporary. He had run before; he would run again. That was what he was good at, after all.
Shifting the truck into Reverse, she backed out onto the highway as a faded red car started up the two-lane highway from the boulevard. Slow but sure, the car closed in on her. The driver was hunched over the wheel as if he were nothing but an origami miniature of a large man. Dark hair blew in the breeze from the open window. Large hands wrung the steering wheel. If the poor thing had been alive, he’d have killed it a thousand times over.
Eli.
Reagan punched the accelerator. Her tires chirped on the hot asphalt before gaining hold. The truck belched and then roared to life. She watched in the rearview mirror as the little red car disappeared in a dense cloud of diesel exhaust.
The truck’s tires slipped off the highway shoulder and into soft sand, forcing her attention to the road. Overcorrecting, she crossed into the opposite lane before muscling the truck onto her side of the road again.
Heat burned up her neck and settled on her cheeks. Freaking wonderful, Matthews. Exactly the kind of impression you wanted to leave him with. Then she grinned. She’d just filled the guy’s car with a solid layer of diesel exhaust. Sure, she’d almost wrecked her truck.
It was totally worth it.
THREE HOURS LATER, Reagan wiped the sweat from her brow with a grungy bandana. “Is it me or is it about a hundred and ten out here today?”
“Only supposed to be about ninety.” Tyson Covington, youngest of the three Covington brothers, tipped the brim of his hat up and leaned on the saddle horn to grin down at her. “I’m no expert in female anatomy, but I’d say you’re far too young for hot flashes, Doc.”
She barked out a laugh. “Not an expert in female anatomy, huh? The only person in Harding County who’s seen more action than you, Ty, is the gynecologist, and that’s only because he’s been in practice longer than you’ve been alive.”
Ty’s grin widened. “I suppose I’ll just have to work harder to catch up then, won’t I?”
Her snort was answer enough. Turning back to the chute, she called out, “Push ’em through, gentlemen.”
“You heard Doc Matthews,” Ty shouted to the other cowboys. “Let’s get the first truck backed up and help the Jensens make a little money.” He let out a sharp whistle as he wheeled his horse around and pushed his way into the thick of things.
She grabbed her pad and jotted down a couple of notes as the semi parked, trailer gate open to the chute. The herd looked pretty good. A few were underweight, but calves sometimes lost a little mass to stress when they were
