so he could be sure he knew what he was doing and get some extra training and instructions before the real stuff began.
The instructors and counselors had warned him that training and duty would wipe out everything about him and change him. And still, he had insisted he was ready.
“No one can ever be ready for such a thing,” he whispered in anguish. “But I couldn’t fail. I would have had to go back to fleet—regular Navy for two years—that is.” He stopped, shuddered a breath. “I didn’t fail. In spite of everything, I made it through.”
His father never moved, seemed to barely be breathing.
Jeremiah sat quiet for a while, his prayers centered on his father and this farm. He made a list in his head of all he needed to do. And he was just about to go on to explain boot camp and how the grueling training he’d undergone in a facility in Illinois, known as The Quarterdeck, had just about done him in. So close to his home and yet he couldn’t reach out or visit.
He never got that far, however.
Because he heard feminine laughter in the front of the house...and smelled lavender and fresh soap.
Standing, he peeked up the narrow hallway to the front of the house and saw three women hugging his mother and sister.
And one of those women was Ava Jane Graber.
* * *
Ava Jane glanced up and into the other room.
Jeremiah stood staring at her, his expression full of surprise and hope. He looked so different today. He was wearing the standard uniform of an Amish man: work shirt, broadcloth pants and dark work boots. He pushed the straw hat back, as if he’d become irritated with wearing it again.
Ava Jane couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. This had been a very bad idea. She should have stayed at home, where she belonged.
Jeremiah started toward her and then halted, his boots creaking against the hardwood floors.
Her mother and sister stopped talking and stared at her, and then they both glanced to the end of the hallway.
Deborah’s curious stare held shock. “So, Jeremiah is back.”
Beth nodded, her glance dancing over Ava Jane before settling on the others. “Ja, indeed he is. Home to help out.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Mamm said, patting Mrs. Weaver’s hand. “And to see that he’s visiting with his daed.” She sent Ava Jane an apologetic smile tempered with a motherly warning.
“Isaac rarely responds to anyone these days,” Moselle Weaver said. “We hoped Jeremiah might bring him back.”
Ah, that explained why Jeremiah was in his daed’s room. But Ava Jane wondered what would happen if Isaac Weaver should wake and find his wayward son sitting there.
Dear Lord, help me to be kind. Help me to find grace.
Jeremiah was now coming toward her, determination gathering like a thunderstorm in his eyes. He made it a few feet into the room and stood firm, his expression almost serene. “Hello, Mrs. Troyer. Deborah.” His eyes moved from them to her. “Ava Jane.”
Mamm hurriedly greeted him and turned back to Beth and Mrs. Weaver.
But both Beth and Deborah stood mystified by this encounter, knowing expressions passing between them like kinder playing volleyball.
“We only came to drop off this food and offer our help,” Mamm said, holding up the baking dish full of chicken potpie. “I believe Ava Jane has a chocolate pie for you, too.”
Ava Jane’s hands were shaking so much she thought she’d drop the pie.
But before that could happen, two strong hands took the dish right out of her grip. “My favorite,” Jeremiah said, his smile soft, his tone quiet. “Denke.”
The rest of the women started scurrying here and there like squirrels after acorns. Nervous chatter filled the big room and echoed off the crossbeams, but Ava Jane couldn’t hear what the women were talking about. She only heard the roar of her pulse pumping against her temples.
So she stood there like a ninny, wondering what to say or do. Ava Jane needed the floor to open up and swallow her. Needed the wind to lift her up and out into the wide-open spring sky. Neither of those things happened.
“How are you?” Jeremiah asked, true concern in his eyes.
“Fine, thank you,” she managed to say. “And how are you?”
A loaded question. What are you doing here? How did this happen? Explain everything to me and help me to understand.
His smile reminded her of the old Jeremiah. Her Jeremiah.
“I’m gut. Better than when I first arrived.”
“So...you’re going to stay here with your family now?”
“Ja. I was staying with the Camptons in their guesthouse.”
The Camptons.
Like a cold splash of water, sharp-edged anger hit her in the face. “That makes perfect sense,” she said, regaining her equilibrium and her strength. “Why didn’t you continue to stay with them?”
Jeremiah’s expression shifted and went dark. “Because they are not my family. I belong here. And I’m going to prove that to everyone, Ava Jane. Especially to you.”
Shocked at his blunt words, she ignored the rush of embarrassment surging through her and accepted that he held bitterness in his heart, too. Gut. She hoped he had a lot of guilt and bitterness left to deal with.
Regretting her harsh wishes, she nodded and swallowed her pride. “Your mamm needs you now. But you don’t need to prove anything to me, Jeremiah. Nothing at all.”
Praying they could leave now, she turned to face her mother. But before Ava Jane could form a good excuse, her mother announced, “We’ve been invited to stay for dinner. I’ve accepted only because after we eat, we are going to give Moselle and Beth a rest while we clean the house and wash up the laundry.”
Her mother’s tone brooked no argument. Ava Jane took a long breath and reminded herself that she had come here for Beth and Mrs. Weaver. Not for him. She could share a meal with these two friends. She’d be just fine because she would not let Jeremiah’s presence affect her. At all.
But before she could hurry into the kitchen, Jeremiah moved closer. “I have everything to prove to you. But mostly, I have everything that is left in me to give to God.”
With that, he spoke briefly to his mother, then nodded to the other women and turned to walk out the back door.
Ava Jane’s face burned with shame.
She’d never once stopped to wonder about what he’d been through out there. And she had to consider—did he truly have anything left to give to God? Or her?
