Being sensible.
Wasn’t it?
BAILEY SLEPT REALLY badly that night. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Jared in that wretched suit, looking totally edible. Worse, her mouth tingled in memory of the way he’d kissed her.
OK, she’d admit it. She was attracted to Jared Fraser. Big time.
But, after the way her marriage had imploded, she wasn’t sure she could risk getting involved with anyone again. Letting herself be vulnerable. Risking the same thing happening all over again. After the ectopic pregnancy she’d ended up pushing Ed away—physically as well as emotionally—because she’d been so scared of getting pregnant again.
So, as much as she would like to date Jared—and to take things a lot further than they had at the wedding—she was going to be sensible and keep things between them just as colleagues. Because she didn’t want to hurt him, the way she’d hurt Ed.
Do you like kids?
And he’d said yes. She could imagine him as a father, especially after she’d seen him with the children at the wedding. And that was another sticking point. She wanted children, too. But the ectopic pregnancy had shredded her confidence. What if it happened again and her other tube ruptured, leaving her infertile?
She’d been terrified of getting pregnant again, and that had made her scared of sex—a vicious circle she hadn’t been able to break. Technically, Ed had been unfaithful to her; but Bailey blamed herself for it, because he’d only done it after she’d pushed him away and refused to let him touch her. She knew that the break-up of her marriage was all her fault.
Since her divorce, until Jared, she hadn’t met anyone she’d wanted to date. But how could she expect him to deal with all her baggage? It wouldn’t be fair.
So, the next morning, she sent Jared a text to clear the air—and also to make it very clear to him how she felt. And hopefully it would ease any potential awkwardness at work.
Sorry. Too much champagne yesterday. Hope I haven’t wrecked our professional relationship.
Jared read the message for the fourth time.
Too much champagne? Hardly. He’d been watching Bailey. She’d had one glass, maybe two. With a meal. Most of the time she’d been drinking sparkling water—as had he.
It was an excuse, and he knew it. She’d looked so scared. As panicky as he’d felt. But why?
Next time he saw her, he decided, he’d get her to talk to him. For now, he’d try to keep things easy between them.
Medicinal recommendation of a fry-up for the hangover, he texted back. See you on the pitch later in the week.
Facing Jared for the first time since the wedding made Bailey squirm inside. In the end, she decided to brazen it out. Hadn’t he said she was sparkly? Then she’d go into super-sparkly mode. So she chatted to all the players, gave Archie a smacking kiss hello on the cheek—while making quite sure she was out of grabbing reach half a second later—and gave Jared a lot of backchat about being too old and too stuck in his ways to do yoga with the boys in the team.
To her relief, he responded the same way, and things were back to the way they used to be. Before he’d kissed her.
Almost.
Because during the training session she looked up from her laptop and caught him looking at her; those amazing blue eyes were filled with wistfulness.
Yeah.
She’d like to repeat that kiss, too. Take things further. But she just couldn’t take the risk. She knew he’d end up being just as hurt as she was. She couldn’t destroy him, the way she’d destroyed Ed.
‘Can we have a word?’ Jared asked at the end of the training session.
‘Um—sure.’ Bailey looked spooked.
He waited until the players and Archie had gone into the dressing room. ‘Are you OK?’ he asked gently.
‘Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘You and me. Saturday night,’ he pointed out.
‘Too much champagne,’ she said swiftly.
‘I don’t think so.’ He kept his voice soft. ‘I think you’re running scared.’
She lifted her chin and gave him a look that was clearly supposed to be haughty, but instead he saw the vulnerability there. ‘I’m not scared.’
‘That,’ he said, ‘is pure bravado. And I know that, because this thing between us scares me, too.’
The fight went out of her. ‘Oh.’
‘So what are we going to do about it?’ he asked.
‘I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m fine being single.’
‘That’s what I’ve been telling myself, too.’ He paused. ‘Maybe we could be brave. Together.’
‘I …’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not ready for this.’
‘Fair enough.’ He held her gaze. ‘But when you are …’
She swallowed hard. ‘Yeah. I, um, ought to let you get on.’
He let her go. For now. And he could be patient, because Bailey Randall was definitely worth waiting for.
Everything was fine for the next week, until Bailey’s system picked up a marked problem. Maybe it was a glitch in the system, she thought, and decided to keep it to herself for the time being. But when the same result showed after the next session, and after she’d caught the tail end of the lads gossiping outside the dressing room, she knew that she was going to have to do something.
‘Jared, can we have a quick word?’ she asked quietly.
He frowned. ‘Is something wrong?’
‘I think so.’ She gestured to her laptop, so he’d know that it was to do with the monitoring system and one of the players.
‘Hadn’t we better talk to Archie if you want to pull someone from the team?’ he asked.
She shook her head and kept her voice low. ‘This is a tricky one, and you’re the only person I can talk to about it.’
‘OK,’ he said. ‘I assume you mean somewhere quiet, away from the club.’
‘Definitely away from the club,’ she said. ‘Yes, please.’
‘Are you free straight after training?’
She nodded.
‘We’ll talk then.’
