Porter glanced in the rearview mirror at his blonde wife, the woman he’d fallen head over heels in love with four and a half years ago. Her intelligence, confidence and artistic flair had mesmerized him. He’d seen her discussing gallery art with a visiting class of elementary school students and he’d known. She was the one. She was his every perfect fantasy—soft, openhearted. He could envision her cradling their babies. Making sand castles with toddlers. Painting with children.
And it hadn’t been just the maternal images that drew him. She had a passionate nature that set him on fire. Even now, the memories turned him inside out.
But the more they’d argued, the more he’d realized how shaky their foundation had been.
“What did you want to know?”
“We didn’t talk much at all in the hospital.” Her blue eyes held his for an electric instant before she looked away.
“The doctor’s orders. And things were hectic, with Thomas’s physical therapists and your tests.” He’d been pulled in two different directions even though he’d taken time off from work, passing over control of his construction firm to his second in command until he had his family in order. Seeing her so helpless in the hospital had sucker punched him. Their love for each other might have died, but they still shared a history, an attraction, and now a child. His need for the picture-perfect family had destroyed their marriage and their love for each other.
But he owed it to her to take care of her while she healed and while they figured out how to parent Thomas.
“I’m not blaming anyone,” she said quickly. “I’m just trying to fill in the blanks so I can function. I felt so...limited in the hospital.”
He wouldn’t sabotage her recovery. The doctors had said she shouldn’t push to remember, and he planned to honor that directive. He wasn’t that ruthless, no matter what his competitors said. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to squander this chance to convince her to stay.
He would do whatever it took to keep her in this family. He wasn’t interested in being a part-time father, and had never been, even when he’d agreed to sign those damn divorce papers. He’d regretted that decision the moment he’d made it. How could he have the family he needed if he let his wife walk away? Even then, regardless of their problems, he’d wanted things to go back to the way they’d been in the beginning.
He didn’t know what had gone wrong, what more she expected of him. And now that she couldn’t remember their life together, he might not ever find out. “The doctor wanted to see how much you recalled on your own. We didn’t want you to confuse memories with things you’d been told.”
“Maybe hearing about us might help jog those memories.”
He noticed she didn’t mention the whole trust issue again. Did that mean she’d put it on the back burner? Or she was willing to take him at his word?
She sure as hell hadn’t trusted him at the end of their marriage, before the accident. Would that distrust eek through even her thick fog of amnesia? He steered off the highway onto the access road to their security gate.
“Porter, I don’t have a choice but to ask you these questions. There’s no one else from my past I still have a relationship with. If I want to find out anything about these past five years, it’s you or Google.”
He chuckled darkly. “A ringing endorsement if ever I heard one.”
A smile played with her full lips. It was almost comfortable and it caused his chest to tighten. He remembered a time when he’d been able to make her smile every day, back before their relationship had deteriorated into loud fights and long silences.
“Porter, I’m not going to apologize for speaking the truth.” The smile faded. “Why didn’t anyone come see me in the hospital?”
“When the accident happened, we were far from home, picking up the baby. Our friends weren’t nearby.” And no doubt they would have felt awkward coming to visit the couple given the impending divorce. “I saved the cards from the flowers and balloons that came at the start. I’ll show you when we get home.”
She chewed that full lip. “What about phone calls to quiz people? Who can I call to help me?”
He wouldn’t isolate her, but he didn’t want to make it easy for her to take off again, either. He just wanted a little time for them to cement their relationship again, to rediscover what they’d once had—and to parent the baby they’d always wanted. They needed this time to become the family he’d always imagined they could be.
“The doctor warned you to be careful and take it slow. You’ll have to ask your physicians near the beach house. Whatever they say is good by me.” It surprised him that she hadn’t asked many questions publicly at the hospital, but whatever had held her back, now that they were alone, she was more relentless about getting answers. There was an urgency and an edge to her now that she hadn’t possessed before the accident.
Or had she kept it hidden the way she’d hidden so many of her motives in the last months of their marriage?
“So you have no trouble giving me those phone numbers? If the doctor says it’s okay.” She leaned forward, resting her arms on the back of the seat as they waited at an intersection.
“No problem at all.” People would be eager to hear from her after the accident, but they’d also be busy with the holidays. And the doctor had given them no reason to think her memory would return so soon. He needed the next two weeks’ Christmas holiday with her and their son to tell her his side of the story. To see if they could make this work. Maybe, just maybe they could build that family after all. For Thomas. “Whatever you want from me, just ask. We’re married.”
Her quick gasp brushed across his neck, and her gaze met his, her eyes wide. “Whatever I want?”
The air went hot between them. Could she see the memories in his eyes? Could she sense just how damn good they had been together? How good they could still be?
There was desire and apprehension in her eyes. Her gaze broadcast loud and clear that she might not share the same memories, but she felt their connection—and it made her nervous.
He needed to proceed carefully. He hadn’t told her about their decision to divorce. He wanted the chance to convince her to stay first. He also didn’t want her asking questions that would box him into lying—or telling a hard truth. Like the fact they hadn’t slept together for a month before the accident. “I can promise you, I’m not about to demand husbandly rights or anything else from you until you’re ready.”
“That’s for the best,” she said a little too fast. “I’m not ready for—”
“You don’t need to say anything more.” He punched in the security code to open the scrolled gates that were designed like a pewter clamshell gaping wide. Christmas lights glistened on the palm trees lining the path to the yellow stucco mansion, the glimmer growing brighter with the setting sun.
“You’ve been very understanding the past week, Porter. I know this has been difficult for you, too, and I appreciate that you’ve worked to make things as easy for me as possible.”
There was a time not so long ago she’d made it clear she felt just the opposite. She’d insisted he only wanted her as a place holder in the mother role.
